Is Dressing your fetish?

[GretchenM]

I am very hesitant to apply labels to behavior because a label sets a boundary as well and, sometimes, a source of motivation. We are all different in the details of this because we all have unique histories. Labels also tend to carry rather generalized specifications. I can think of a lot of labels that would fit me at different times, so I tend to steer clear of labels unless it is clearly applicable.

But, yes, I do understand the lack of desire under certain circumstances. My main thing about women's clothes, especially T-shirts, is not that it is a women's. A T-shirt is just a T-shirt. But I am very much into the feminine colors - bold and bright rather than often rather more subtle and not a lot of color variation available in men's. That seems to be changing a bit. And yes, many people associate certain colors with certain behaviors but that does not mean I am wearing pink for the reasons they might think, but on the other hand, sometimes I am. In other words appearances can lead to erroneous assumptions that may not fit at all. For example, some people will think a man in a kilt is wearing a skirt and therefore may be "one of those weird crossdressers." Maybe yes, maybe no.

I very rarely ever go all the way with my dressing anymore and for me I think a lot of it is age. Motivations change with age and often, but not always, become more and more casual about a lot of things.

So, I would say it is best to do that which makes you most comfortable for the moment or the situation you are in.

[Brenda Freeman]

I used to enjoy wearing pantyhose, nylons and garters, shapewear, slips, for the look and feel. It was usually for a short time when I had time to myself, really not sexual just felt wonderful to wear. Later in life when I had my first make over by a professional (me age 50)with make up, wig, bra with forms, pantyhose, painted nails, a dress and heels everything changed. She was very encouraging and supportive and I though I had no idea what to expect I looked in the mirror and loved how I looked and from then on I dress fully when I have time. I enjoy spending time and usually take photos and relax. Also I try to go out once a month fully dressed to meet friends. The exception is I have been a daily pantie wearer and recently have added a simple Hanes wireless no padding bra on occasion.

[CarlaWestin]

Sherry, with me it's an activity that indulges in experiencing something other than just the daily routine much like a mini vacation experience. I can acknowledge that since retirement has vastly expanded the amount of discretionary time, I have more opportunity for every indulgence. And Carla is certainly along for the ride.

[LilSissyStevie]

Crossdressing isn't my fetish. It's just a way to accessorize my fetish which is more about emasculation in general. It started out as a female domination fetish well before puberty and crossdressing wasn't that important at first although I had CDed occasionally since I was about 5 yo. CDing gradually became a bigger part of it. But the goal is emasculation, not emulating females.

[Sallee]

Great Question. What is a fetish? I am not sure of the definition. Is it a sexual thrill? Is it just having fun masquerading as the opposite gender? I tend to think it is a fetish but I am not sure, does it matter. as long as you enjoy it and it is not harmful to others. I guess if you go out to the grocery store in super high heels, short skirt looking way over done with your makeup then it might be a fetish or at least it would be perceived that way. When I go out I tend to dress down slacks or jeans or a conservative skirt. I dress to blend and pass at least in my mind. Now it is fun no doubt. If going out to somewhere more exciting like a gay pride event or a T-club I am definitely a little more done up still not outlandish but more fun. Bottom line I think it is a fetish but that's okay as long as it is harmless to you and others and you are enjoying yourself

[linda booth]

When I was preteen I had a fetish for women's underwear. I enjoyed it. Now that Im a lot older I have a wardrobe and a love for women's clothing. But the fetish is still there. I don't understand why it has to be one or the other.

[docrobbysherry]

Since people r persisting with this "fetish" subject, I've no choice but to go with it now!

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My son was concerned that his fetish of wearing soft female underwear would cause him to become trans like me. He said he only wore them for sexual gratification and that once the act was concluded he felt guilty about it. I assured him that there was nothing wrong with him. A lot of young men do that. It doesn't make you become trans or want to CD.

"A lot of young men do that". I'm sorry, but that is not true, DM. |
And, " ---that doesn't make u trans or want to CD" is debatable!

When I was preteen I had a fetish for women's underwear. I enjoyed it. Now that Im a lot older I have a wardrobe and a love for women's clothing. But the fetish is still there. I don't understand why it has to be one or the other.

Whoever said it had to be just one, Linda?

[Pumped]

I agree that if we could remove the negative connotation from the word fetish there would be many more people on board!

For me dressing varies. Some days it is fetish, some days I just want to dress up in something comfy and wear female clothing. There are times I put on bra and boobs, a sweat shirt and leggings and just lounge around the house.

[Keyplayer74]

Hey Doc! We've spoken before.. YEARS ago. But.. I'm back at it again.. and now I think I can relate. I'm not separated from my wife - however many times I've fantasized how my life might be different if I was - and I wonder if it would really be better or not. My wife has never been terribly attractive to me.. long story.. but anyway.. As I sit in my office 100% dolled up surrounded by mirrors - I can't help but reflect on your message - and yes.. it IS different when you can dress all the way whenever you want. I love the way I look right now, but I'm not aroused. I've been sitting here since 9 AM dressed up and loving it.. but not going to "get there" like this anymore. Does that make sense? I still absolutely love it, but it's only sex for me now if I focus on that.. which usually I don't anymore.

[XemmaX]

it's both i guess. i have a fetish to do with my crossdressing but i dont always dress in a fetish way and when i dress street legal it's not about getting off per se it's just to chill. i would also say im an all or nothing person too. i used to dress from the neck alot when i was younger, but since i really enjoy the transition aspect doing it from the next down really doesnt interest me at all.

[mbmeen12]

The need/desire/fetish, or whatever it was that excited me to just throw on anything fem has gone!

Anyone else relate to this?

It comes in waves for me too Doc but deep down it's more for me. The body and my mind dont match at times.

[docrobbysherry]

Hey Doc! We've spoken before.. YEARS ago. But.. I'm back at it again.. and now I think I can relate. I'm not separated from my wife - however many times I've fantasized how my life might be different if I was - and I wonder if it would really be better or not. My wife has never been terribly attractive to me.. long story.. but anyway.. As I sit in my office 100% dolled up surrounded by mirrors - I can't help but reflect on your message - and yes.. it IS different when you can dress all the way whenever you want. I love the way I look right now, but I'm not aroused. I've been sitting here since 9 AM dressed up and loving it.. but not going to "get there" like this anymore. Does that make sense? I still absolutely love it, but it's only sex for me now if I focus on that.. which usually I don't anymore.

It isn't for me anymore either, Key. I go out all the time now. Been out 100's of times. Know how many times I've been turned on while getting ready to go out? ZERO!
Know how many times I've been turned on while out meeting countless trans, GG's, and guys that have come on to me? ZERO!

It's only when I'm alone with Sherry fully dressed, and no where to go and no one to see, that things sometimes get------------interesting!

[Beverley Sims]

These days I dress all the time I do not have to work.

No fetish here I feel comfortable in attractive clothing.

Fortunately I am 130 pounds and a trim figure to boot.

Male clothes just hang on me.

[JuliannaS]

It's never been a fetish for me. It is just part of who i am. I've always enjoyed female clothing. It just feels better.

[Geena75]

You have to be careful dropping the "f" bomb in the forum. Many seem to regard it as something tawdry. Thank-you Kris B for the clarification.

To your real point, though. I know what you mean. I have just dressed to try out an outfit or combination, but it doesn't give the satisfaction of really dressing up, with the eye makeup and everything. Dressing a little (like underdressing) helps remind me of how good it feels, though, and I'll take what I can get.

[Lacey New]

For me it was definitely a fetish. And while I could not do it often, when I could cross dress, I could not get enough of it even though I never managed to ? go all the way? with a wig, shoes, makeup, shaving legs or breast forms. I wanted to but never really had the opportunity. But instead, I dressed with what I had in my comparative small stash at home and in private. And it was only rarely that I tried on outerwear in a store. And each time I dressed it was sexually stimulating. Nowadays though, it is very much less stimulating and I dress more infrequently and for the most part it is underdressing or just being at home alone wearing panties, a bra and maybe a slip or a cami. I still enjoy the feeling of nice nylon.

[CynthiaD]

No, not a fetish for me. I get immense satisfaction from dressing, but its a feeling of being the real me rather than anything sexual. I did react that way when I was a teenager, but I began crossdressing long before i went through puberty.

I agree with you in one way: just throwing on a few femme items doesn't do it for me. I need to get fully dressed, which I do every day. Not necessarily all day every day, but all day most days. Of course, since I have no male underwear, I'm wearing a few femme items all the time.

[kellyanne]

IMHO to answer this question, we must define our terms:

What is a fetish vs. transgender sexual orientation. Is there a qualitative difference or source point difference in the brain?

Does a woman who loves wearing lingerie have an undergarment fetish the same as the man who wears the same clothes?

If yes or no why? I don't know the answer - but there is online MRI imagery of hetero male vs homosexual vs TG brain imagery , perhaps a start is compare any fetish MRIs to TG maybe they are very close?

If I was on a date with a guy who has a female clothing fetish - it may be a great time but it would not have the intimacy of a date with another TG or the same character because of the above MRI - no real surprises from the scans . .

[Georgina]

I don't think so. A few years ago I decided to only wear skirts and dresses after work and weekends. After i finish work and shower I never change back into male clothes. On Sundays when I am dressed in femme clothes sometimes I like to try other outfits during the day but when I am finished I stay in female clothes. I also wear a nighty in bed so I don't get back into male clothes until the next morning.

[Brianne_bc]

Most certainly is my fetish. I have a bigger fetish for Maryjanes though.