All I have to do to cure myself of the crossdressing bug is take a picture of myself. The mirror looks "not ridiculous" but the camera removes all illusions about being an even somewhat attractive woman.I look like an old man with boobs and a wig. Anyone else have a similar problem?
Oh yeah hahah same
I am in a similar situation, but don't see it as a problem.
So many new things to learn
The camera can be a cruel friend. There were a couple times I dressed up, looked in the mirror and was very pleased, but then that darned camera showed off every little flaw. I have often wondered what is the more true image: what I see in the mirror or what the camera sees. Still, by clever posing and lighting, I have made the camera a little more forgiving and rather like what I see. Like Karren, I keep the awful pictures to remind me what NOT to do -- sometimes it just doesn't work.
We all tend to idealized what we look like, but the passage of time is relentless. We often boast about looking 20 years younger and it's great to feel that way. However, take a moment to stand in a room full of people who are actually 20 years younger than yourself and you will soon understand the facts of life. This applies to someone 40 or 60 or 80. There's certainly nothing wrong or bad about aging.
To your comment about looking like an old man with Boobs, I'm sure there are many many contemporary women who also look like old men with boobs. We can't all age like Cher or Sophia Loren.
Monica's right, of course, and I think many of us older girls experience the same. But, hey... just like crossdressing, photography is a skill as well, and often just as difficult. If you think you can nail a decent photo in 1 or 2 shots, don't kid yourself. It's a craft, just as makeup is, and you'll have to take dozens/hundreds of photos to get just the right one you'll want to save for posterity. Playing with lighting in your photo can also shave years off of the subject.
I can also say that an "old man with boobs and a wig" without confidence in a photo is often a self-fulfilling prophecy. But adding confidence in your posture and smile ameliorates a lot of imagined defects. Just own it and kick your photos up a notch.
I still think I look pretty good----BUT if seen from THE RIGHT ANGLES. I can look like a GORILLA from the back. THIS is why I depend on taking VIDEOS instead of still shots. I can find poses and angles where I look good and snip individual frames. I can't get away with single shot poses---The planned snapshots just do not work---I depend on the "happy accidents" with the video.----And get my singles THAT way.
Monica offers an important point of view. I think many of us CDs suffer from kind of a body dismorphia, comparing ourselves to the very best among us, or to real women (like Cher or Sophia Loren) and invariably come up short. We might be heavy, tall, old or whatever. It's all OK, and should not allow these perceptions to diminish our enjoyment (or the fantasy element) of this activity we share.
Last edited by Kris Burton; 02-15-2022 at 12:56 PM. Reason: wording
I'm the classic crossdresser in that I enjoy wearing the clothes, footwear and accessories. I also wear makeup but not very much and hardly ever wear a wig. And looking like a woman, acting like a woman, feeling like a woman, etc just doesn't come into it. And like yourself when I look in a mirror or at a photo I see a man wearing women's clothes. But that doesn't bother because it's all about the clothes. I arrived at this simple, common sense state of affairs several years ago and ever since don't beat myself with a big stick and do the psychoanalysis thing.
There have been a fair number of threads about camera versus mirror. The boiled down version is that unless you know what you are doing, photos can easily make you look worse (especially phone cameras with their tiny, distorting lenses.)
And if you are unhappy with your appearance, many times a change of wig to something that suits you better can work wonders! (Not to point fingers but I have seen far too many badly chosen wigs.)
I just don't look at myself in the mirror nor do I take pictures. It's all about the clothes for me and how they make me feel. I love the flow of a skirt, whisping my hair away from my face, the dangle of my earrings and bracelets and adjusting my camisole or slip straps as they often slide off of my shoulder, (all by design). It's all a very tactile thing for me and those are the things that give me the most pleasure and make me feel the most feminine.
In terms of the visual, I love plunging necklines with a pretty bra (with cleavage) and seeing my legs in thigh high stockings, no mirror required. I just look down and really, that's a pleasing enough view for me.
Once I am on my own again, a few short weeks, I intend to get back into makeup which I have really enjoyed in the past...
The most common form of despair is not being who you are. - Soren Kierkegaard
I hear you loud and clear, but there?s no cure for CDing.
Speak for yourself, I look great! Great for an old guy in a dress, that is.
Seriously, I do think I look OK in a lot of outfits, but never do I look like a woman. I think I, and other guys, can look good in certain clothes marketed for women. Certainly not all outfits, and some look way better with the top filled out correctly, but we can look good even without looking like women.
I'm sure there are many in the vanilla world who would disagree with me, but since this is my opinion they're wrong.
Yes. You eventually just accept that facts, and still dress out and go about what you are doing, enjoying yourself!
Totally agree. I think well fitting and chosen women's clothes can look great on a bloke, especially if not overweight. Some of my favourite photos of myself are as a man in a frock. And I have some particularly nice ones in hybrid mode. I'd love to post them here. But, of course I'd be fully recognizable.Originally Posted by OrdinaryAverageGuy
Last edited by char GG; 02-16-2022 at 06:16 AM. Reason: I know you are teasing but we don't want others to comment on this
I think I pass pretty well (my opinion), I dont get stared at or even a second glance from the sales assistants, that doesnt mean theve not clocked me, but it does give me confidence in what I see in the mirror after putting on my makeup makes me smile, thats of course when I get my makeup on satisfactorily, sometimes yes I see a man in a wig, so I add extra makeup, change my wig, there thats better, my smile is back.
I'm sorry you feel that way. However, crossdressing is not a bug or disease. There is no vaccine to cure it. It is a behavior. Learned at a very young age and reinforced by feelings and circumstance over a long period of time. And although might be considered by some as undesirable it often serves a purpose. The human mind is very mysterious in its operation. Often a behavior is used as a way of compensating or coping. Until you discover what you're using it for and substituting another less troublesome behavior in its place you will never be rid of it.
You look in the mirror and you are disappointed because you don't see perfection. Ask any woman what they see when they look in the mirror. They don't see perfection either. They learn to accept the reflection.
Crossdressing is about feelings. What are you feeling? And why?
CANCER IS A BITCH SO YOU HAVE TO BE MORE OF A BITCH TO BEAT IT.
I had the same problem for many years. One thing that helped was I tried the Faceap. I gave it a picture of me in drab and asked it to make me look like a woman. What came out was a female version of me, minus a few wrinkles, that is recognizably female but not Angelina Jolie gorgeous. But I look around and there aren't many 66 year old women that look like Angelina Jolie. If I make reasonable choices with clothing and makeup I can look like any other not very young woman. Not gorgeous, but not scary ugly. My shoulders are too big and my butt's flat. Yeah, join the club.
Enjoy yourself Audrey! That's why we do this.
I get the same way sometimes when I look at pics of myself but I would never let that stop me. If there ever was a "cure" I wouldn't want it. I know I'm not perfect*and I will probably never pass but I still love getting dressed. It is part of me and it's here to stay. Even the most beautiful people in the world might look at themselves and probably only see the flaws. We have to concentrate on the positive.*
Not really a cure, but I do feel the same way at times. I am one of those people who tends to dwell on my own flaws (and too often those of others). I am fortunate to have some trusted GG friends who swear that they always give me honest opinions on my appearance. Their assessments are much more positive.
That's it, confidence!
I have much more confidence dressed female.
As a guy I'd fall into the "uncanny valley" between male and female. Moving the needle toward "F" simplifies social interactions.
Whether I do or not isn't as important as reducing the ambiguity of the situation.
This an important point.
Marion
Last edited by Maid_Marion; 02-19-2022 at 04:31 PM.
my only consolation is that I don't think I look all that great in guy-mode photos either
I am 6-4 weigh 215 pounds and can fit in a size 16 dress. Am I comfortable in my own skin when it comes to daily stuff as a man? Sure no doubt but do I think I could pass as a woman? Oh hell no I couldn't and that is fine. I am able to do the stuff I really love as a soon to become 45 year old and I am very grateful for it in terms of physical stuff like rock climbing/ultimate frisbee/social dancing etc.
I would love to do a drag performance singing some contralto song someday I wont lie. Finding a woman that wouldn't have a boundary violated by that is a different story.
If I had, I would have stopped 20 years ago when this resurface and about ever time I dressed since then. I do not post those photos but I still have them. Lets me know how far I have come. But I still take a lot of guy in a dress photos. None of them will deter me from continuing. And I know I do not pass but when I go out in public I could care less. Anyone does not like it, that is their problem not mine.
So stop getting hung up over the photos! Most of us have them. Just keep progressing and enjoying what your doing.
Last edited by Karren H; 02-15-2022 at 03:19 PM.
I agree with Dawnmarrie its about the feelings. Like the song goes if it feels good do it.I know when I look in the mirror I am trying to make a silk purse out of a sows ear.However no matter how old I get. The look of pantyhose on my legs is the same as it was 47 years ago and so is the feeling.Its what you get out of it.
Posting Permissions
