Diary of a Mad Tranny

[CaptLex]

I wanted to share my recent, eventful blog entry with the class here, but instead of rewording the whole thing I'm doing the lazy thing and just copying it. I hope you find it worthwhile reading:


I Want a New Drug

Huey Lewis sang:

I want a new drug
One that won't go away
One that won't keep me up all night
One that won't make me sleep all day
One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that makes me feel like I feel when I'm with you

Me too . . . I want a new drug . . . namely, testosterone, and I broke the news to my shrink this week. He checked into the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care and promptly informed me that the hours I've put in on the couch combined with my time spent in "real life experience" qualify me to begin whenever the medical doctor approves it.

I feel good about this decision. It's not rash nor impulsive. I've done the research and the soul searching. I know the risks and the permanent effects. And now I'm ready for the consequences - positive or negative. I've stood at the fork in this road long enough to be sure that I'm taking the path I feel sure about, and now it's time to take that first step. It took me a while to jump over the last hurdle - the confusion about my androgyny - but I needed to be really, really sure . . . and now I am.

*Sigh of relief*

This decision led to another move. I decided it was the right time to come out to a few friends and co-workers. These people mean a lot to me and I needed to know if I mean as much to them. I was very nervous and I rehearsed my declaration, definitions and answers to possible questions well before I approached each of them, took a deep breath and plunged into the icy waters of their ignorance of my situation.

Well, it's true that they were completely unaware of my struggle (and generally uninformed as to transgender issues), but I am happy to report that they all amazed me with their support, empathy, understanding and optimism for my future. I'm still speechless. I hoped they would take it well, but frankly I never expected so much love. In fact, they forced me to engage in some very unpirate-like behavior: the Captain got a lot of hugs that day.

*Bigger sigh of relief*

So, the map is laid out, the course is set and the sails unfurled. I hope for fair winds, but with my crew aboard, armed and ready for action, I'm prepared for a bad squall or a good fight.

Going up to the crow's nest,

Lexi the Pirate

[Ms. Donna]

An eventful week for you. The hormones will be a big step and I do hope that you get what you're looking for in that arena.

More important was coming out to your friends. That is a hurdle which - once overcome - becomes easier each time. I'm genuinely happy for you that it went well, especially with your co-workers - I know that was a point of tension for you.

It's really good you see you moving in a positive direction as it is far too easy to get bogged down. Congrats!

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

Wow! As Donna said, what an eventful week.

I wish you fair weather and smooth sailing, and hope that your journey gets you were you want to go. And needless to say having a good and loyal crew behind you always helps.

[gennee]

Congratulations, Lex. I pray your journey will be pleasant and eventful. I know you thought it out and it's what you really want to do. I admire you for your courage to put your convictions into action. Keep us posted.

Gennee

[Jennaie]

An event with a nice ending. I't always nice to hear stories like this. Congrats Lex.

[Casey Morgan]

That's really great news Lex! On all counts. May the wind be at your back and your course be true as you start this next part of your great journey.

[CaptLex]

Thanks, boys and girls. I'm feeling really good about this now that the fog is clearing.

[Kim E]

Hi Captain ~
Just wanted to say how happy I am for you and how proud I am for the success you have found on your voyage. It takes a lot of courage to come out to close friends and co-workers. Self acceptance is very important but the acceptance of others is very special, an added bonus.

As you continue on your voyage I wish you bright skies, strong winds and a following sea, absent of all squalls and shoals. Now lets have a pint of grog !!

Kim

[Adam]

wow thats great news im pleased for you

[Fainne the King]

Good for you. I'm glad that everything is working out well for you. Good that you've thought hormones through, I guess it's a big step, one I'm unsure of right now. Everything will work out great for you I'm sure, and you're lucky your friends are so understanding.

[Clare]

[SIZE=3]Hey Captain.

Such wonderful news, i'm really glad how everything is working out for you.

I was going to make comments about pirating and sailing, but the others are too good with their ad-libbing for me!

I wish you all the best for the future Lexi.

[/SIZE]

[Julie Avery]

CaptLex, it sounds like your soul-searching is beginning to bear rich fruit, and that's good news indeed. Be well, guy!

[Sarahgurl371]

CaptLex, I wish you the best! I am happy for your friends acceptance, but mostly for your own. That seems to be the big one for most of us. Good for you I say.

[Kimberley]

It IS your time. Enjoy it. I cant tell you how pleased I am for you and you have nothing but my best wishes. You can add another hug to the rest.

So, now it is time to get another barrel of rum have a party invite all several thousand of us to help you celebrate. We are all pulling for you. Lex, you are one of the good guys!!!

Hugs
Kimberley.

[joanlynn28]

Hey Captlex, I would be willing to make you a deal. I'll trade you my testosterone for some of your estrogen okay?

[CaptLex]

Hey Captlex, I would be willing to make you a deal. I'll trade you my testosterone for some of your estrogen okay?

If only I could bottle it, joanlynn . . .

Thanks again all. Quick update: I've been somewhat worried about my job, so I also spoke to two influential partners (I work at a law firm) at work, both of whom I've worked with for years and get along well with - one I consider a good friend, and the other is on the committee for anti-harrassment. They've assured me that when I decide to make it public knowledge at work, they will do anything and everything to help make the transition as smooth as possible. That is, the firm's position will be a supportive one and they'll help me deal with any troublemakers that would want to harrass me and make me feel uncomfortable. Now that's a relief! With those two sailor on my crew, it might just be smooth sailing after all.

Kimberley, I like your idea. Wish I could have a big party and invite all of you. Your support and words of encouragement mean so much to me.