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Thread: F to M Balance

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
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    F to M Balance

    Good afternoon ya'll
    I was getting ready for work this morning in my male garb. Under dreeing with just panties but no bra. When it's cool enough to wear a jacket I take advantage of wearing my bra as well. But alas, too warm today. (sad face here) Anyway, what I thought about is being a crossdresser I do have a male side as well as my fem side. I was wondering if I was balancing both sides as well as I should. I don't mean in "time" balance but more of what I am doing outside of wearing the cloths. Doing girl stuff throughout the day and man stuff throughout the day, nights and weekends.
    I think I do pretty good but I often find the pink fog wants to take over. Sometimes more often when she should. But I don't really have a man side pushing me except when there are things I "have to" do's. It makes me wonder when I retire if she will be even harder to fight off? I won't have as many "have to's". I guess there's only one way to find out! The light is at the end of the tunnel. Maybe another year and I'll put it to the test.
    hanks for reading.Joyce

  2. #2
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    For what it's worth , I didn't start actively crossdressing until after I retired. Related? There does seem to be a lot more pink fog in the area these days!

  3. #3
    Member ziggie's Avatar
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    Retirement also provided me the free time to begin dressing more. That's not a bad thing.
    So many new things to learn

  4. #4
    Member RachelB.'s Avatar
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    I have had those thoughts myself. I'll be retiring in a few months and I'll let you know how it goes.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Barbara Jo's Avatar
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    Yes..... retirement can enable you to be much freer to be what you want to be.
    Of course everyone's home life details / restrictions are different .

    Just earlier toady i went to 1.30 PM showing of "Licorice Pizza " at a local fully restored vintage theater
    I wore a skirt etc of course as Barbara.
    If I was not retired, I could not go to these 1;30 PM special (open caption) showings which are every Thursday.
    My 75 year old ears like the open captions.

    BTW..
    "Licorice Pizza" is actually named after a famous SoCal record store that existed in the late '70s and '80s. The term is also slang for vinyl records, which have the appearance of shiny, black licorice and are the size of a small pizza. The movie is set in the '70s - 80s.

    Concerning those that are not "full time". Make sure that your male self is not neglected..
    Don't only give your female self all the new things and make her have all the fun, etc..
    in other words, there needs to be some sort of balance.
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 02-19-2022 at 12:40 PM. Reason: spelling
    Happiness is not a future condition. It is a Present state of mind.
    "When I do good, I feel good, when I do bad, I feel bad, that is my religion". - Abraham Lincoln.
    "It's all right now, I learned my lesson well.,You see, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself." - Ricky Nelson

  6. #6
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    If u have to "fite off" one side or another, u have NOT achieved balance, Joyce!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Davina2833's Avatar
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    RachelB.,

    Retirement is wonderful (specially if your wife is still working).....you will love it.

    Davina

  8. #8
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Retirement opened the door for me and I came out a couple of years later. I figure that before retirement I had to be deeply engaged in the male world and that caused the battle between my male-like side and my female-like side to persist as a kind of Cold War. After retirement that pressure slowly faded and allowed a much more balanced arrangement. Perhaps this happens in many after retirement - I have never seen anything about that in the science literature though. Seems reasonable though.

    But to achieve the balance and comfort with either I have now took a few more years of periods of fog and conflicts that needed to be worked out. You probably realize this, but retirement is probably not a magic button for us because past history continues to influence the way our brain works this out. In time though, for me, it created a much more complex and comfortable balance that goes far beyond just the influence of clothes and changed my personality to be a bit more genuinely female-like in thinking methods and emotions with or without the clothes. Plus I can switch back to being male-like when needed without getting twisted into a pretzel. All total it has taken 10 years but I am a much better and more complete person now than I was at the beginning. The desire to become a woman by transition has completely gone away but the female-like side is stronger than ever and sometimes even dominant.

  9. #9
    Heisthebride Heisthebride's Avatar
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    I'm still a few years away from retirement but as I have gotten older I find I don't care as much what other people might think. I just had a manicure last week with gel nail extensions and color. I work from home three days a week and go into the office twice a week. Granted the office isn't very busy, but I could run into and see people. Yesterday, someone scheduled a meeting with me to take a tour of our IT lab in person next Monday. Oh well, I'll just wear my pretty nails and see what happens, very likely they won't say anything. Last night my neighbors came over to my place for Thursday night takeout. My neighbors daughter commented on my nails and that led to a table wide discussion about the best options for nails, gel versus dip, is it bad for your real nails, etc. One of my neighbors plays the banjo and asked how sturdy they are and asked about getting just one of his nails done for strumming. I'm to a point where it will continue to be thought of as weird or something to hide unless we start to normalize it. I'm not saying thats for everyone, you be you, and be safe and comfortable with your dressing. But I'm trying to push the boundaries.
    Rebecca Bas

  10. #10
    Platinum Member
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    When I retired my wife was still working part time which was full days up to five days a week. She was working as a certified substitute teacher. I had seven hours a day to be June Cleaver. I did not prance in front of a mirror all day. It was doing all the domestic chores in dress, heels and hosiery, and all the proper undergarments. There were some times when she went out of state to visit our daughter or visit her cousin. That gave me seven to ten days of 24/7 time.

    Then, medical issues set in. It was semi-retirement for my wife. Then she gave up part time work. No Stephanie time. The last time I fully dressed was New Year's Eve of 2019. I even was able to go for a drive and stroll that evening as my wife babysat forty miles away for the night. I did not check whether you're married, and, if you are, whether she is supportive or not. I found in the beginning I went full in. Then I moderated because I was assured there was another day of femme time coming. Then it all imploded and it actually drives me to distraction some days. I read posts of those who also have experienced a drought; pre-covid or during covid. Is there light at the end of the tunnel? You know the quip. It may not be a portal. It may be a train coming to run you down.

  11. #11
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    I really don’t differentiate between purportedly male and female behaviors. I do things that people do regardless of gender, such as go to work, maintain a home (in all dimensions), communicate with friends and family, exercise and engage in hobbies or entertainment. I suppose the process of chosing an outfit and getting dressed up is done with a mind towards expressing femininity.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
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    Thank You Everyone.
    I used to be quite macho in my work. Being a mechanic on heavy equipment. Now I sell tools. I don't do much mechanic work. Work on a golf cart now and then or on my beat up old van. For the most part I feel pretty well balanced and things change regularly. I can always tell when Joyce needs out. SO my thought was to get more involved with the local CD group. Next thing you know I'm the president! That's been ok so far but my thoughts were to get some regular Joyce time in to balance it out. I guess I'm a little concerned about making sure to keep my male side intact. I really don't see it being a problem as yet. I do have a welder and some other equipment that I hope (and expect) to make use of as John. I mean...I don't think I should be in a dress welding.

    Thaks for all the thoughts y'all

  13. #13
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    When I hit retirement age, I was too busy to think about it. Now, several years later, I figure it’s too late and I should just keep working.

    But I’m still trying to achieve the perfect M/F balance: F, 100%, M, 0%. Getting closer every day.
    What do I do on days when I don't crossdress? I have no idea.

  14. #14
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    The combination of retirement and Covid has pushed me to near full time.
    Everything I wear now is feminine. The look may not be overtly such, but the clothing certainly is.
    It's the balance I have sought all my life.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  15. #15
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Joyce, I realise that your OP was concerning balance of M and F in life. If you're still working full time, the F gets compartmentalised into
    infrequent time bites as your employment holds the construct of male presentation in dominance.
    In retirement, time gets spread out. And it's all your own agenda. You might get so much F time that you start getting a new appreciation for the M time.
    The time for Carla is really a lot of fun but, the time to enjoy M or generic other pursuits is fantastic.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

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