Wife blew my stockings off

[1Ladyjade]

Morning ladies. I am still in shock. My wife is in the DADT club. She has seen my femme clothes but does not want to see me in them.
So yesterday we were out running errands. I had gotten a few new pieces of clothing since she saw my stuff. I was going to ask if I could put on my new dress for her. She stopped me saying NO before I could finish the sentence. Then she asks me if I want to go to the thrift store. I ask what for and her reply is to buy me more clothes. So we start picking through the racks. She pulls some skirts and tops off the rack. Comes to look at what I am pulling and says I'm buying old lady stuff. LOL. I told her I am an old lady. We spent 40 bucks on all the stuff. After dinner we our plan was to shower and watch T.V. and have drinks. I thought maybe I could model some of my clothes. Thinking I better make sure I came down in my normal evening wear I pair of leggings and a t shirt.
I said I thought about coming down the stairs dressed. Her reply was you are dressed. She does not want to see me in femme. Very strange position to be in.

Side note. The pink fog has rolled in as I so badly want to put on some of the things we bought yesterday. I will have to wait till Monday.

[Kris Burton]

Caution Ladyjade - sometimes that fog rolls in so thickly you've got to get up in the middle of the night (quietly of course) to dress and alleviate it.

[bridget thronton]

Nice to go shopping with your wife - baby steps

[Linda K.]

I agree with Kris and Bridget. I dress in the middle of the night so my roommate doesn't know, but being a 3rd shift worker, dressing on the weekends overnight is easy. It sounds like your wife is softening her stance a bit and just take it in baby steps as Bridget suggested. You know your wife better than us but this may be the start of something. Good luck!!

[docrobbysherry]

You've got a great thing going with your SO, Jade! Just dress and avoid her.

Get over wanting her to see u. She doesn't want that!

[Stephanie47]

If your wife does not want to see you dressed, honor that. Don't force the issue. Obviously, she knows you dress sometime, otherwise she would not encourage shopping with her. Not too long ago I read an article that said most women have a mental image of their man as a woman. Since she obviously loves you, if it was me I would not want to blow what I hope is a favorable image. Maybe, what our mind's eye sees is what a wife's mind eye sees.

As a suggestion, since she has gone shopping with you, and has made a comment on your selection, suggest to her that she go shopping alone for you and dress you head to toe and all things under. Maybe, that would give you a clue to her mental image of you. It could crack the door open.

[Heather76]

Your wife wants to take you shopping for fem clothing but doesn't want to see you wearing your fem clothing. That, dear lady, is a true paradox. While my wife prefers not to see me dressed, she has also refused to even go panty shopping with me.

[Maria 60]

I know, I know, you just want to jump into the fire, but watch out for fire you might get burned. I would be very happy with your wife's advancements its definitely a step in the right direction. Maybe just like my wife she enjoys having a husband, girlfriend companion. I would definitely take it as a positive and take it slow and you might be surprised

[alwayshave]

Ladyjade, If she does not want to see you enflame, she doesn't. That doesn't mean she doesn't know you dress and cares that you look contemporary rather than old lady-ish.

[missjoann49]

Caution Ladyjade - sometimes that fog rolls in so thickly you've got to get up in the middle of the night (quietly of course) to dress and alleviate it.

I agree 100%, take small steps around her

[MonicaPVD]

As far as I can tell, any CDer who has a truly understanding and accepting spouse has won the lottery of life. The rest of us have to accept the fact that we do not fit the conventiobs of a "man" as defined by contemporary society.

[JaneAshland]

If she is like my wife, she knows I dress, but sees me as her man/protector, and does not want the feminine image in her head. So as others said, honor her demands, and be thankful she supports you.

[1Ladyjade]

Every one I want to say. I understand about my wife not wanting to see me in femme. I am not going to push it with her. I'm just going to let her absorb this in her own way. I was asking her to see how she felt. When she said no then turns and buys me a few dresses and a little make up. I was left a little confused. It's why I didn't assume and come down the stairs in a dress. Again she was known as the fag hag by her friends. She dragged me and her friends to see a friend of hers in a drag show. I thought she would be able to handle my CD. But she isn't so I will keep taking the baby steps with her. Maybe we will get through that door. Maybe we won't.

[GretchenM]

A lot of wives are like your wife on the dressing. They married a man and they don't want to see him as a woman. Perhaps the "you can't unsee it" type of thing. But they understand it is a need that you have and want to help to the extent that they can. I am sure many perceive that as a hazardous action on their part because it effectively is encouraging it without participation. Boundaries are healthy and they need to be observed carefully. If she later loosens up fine, but if not then honor her wishes.

My wife is very much that way, but I am allowed to wear flats around the house and women's T's and sweatshirts so long as they are plain and not decorated with female oriented patterns. But no further. It is fine. For me it holds back the general desire to dress when she is around. But that doesn't mean this pattern will work for others.

[Kellyxx]

Lucky you. Sounds like things are moving in a more positive direction with your wife.

[1Ladyjade]

Gretchen my wife is very much like yours. My nails are always painted. She and I go to the salon together. At home I wear leggings and a t shirt. My leggings collection is around 30 pairs. Wife bought them or was with me when I bought them. She bought me a pair that are definitely feminine. They are black with sparkle. It's another example of how I feel confused about her and my dressing. Oh well baby steps right.