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Thread: consulting doctor

  1. #1
    Member manemami's Avatar
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    consulting doctor

    hi i opened up to my family doctor but he said it is my weirdness to crossdress and need psychiatric treatment, what are your first experiences and your opinions about habit of crossdressing and finding yourself trapped in male body.
    I love to be in female attire and want to stay in it it as much time as possible.

  2. #2
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    Unless your doctor has training in experience in a related field, he's just another guy with an opinion. The medical field is highly specialized but that doesn't stop many doctors from thinking they know everything about everything.

  3. #3
    Member ziggie's Avatar
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    If you are suffering from gender dysphoria or relationship issues in addition to your crossdressing, it might be wise to consult someone with expertise in gender related issues. If not, there is likely no reason to seek such treatment. Get a second opinion from a different general practitioner if possible.
    So many new things to learn

  4. #4
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I think the stigmas associated with mental health issues have affected the training of your family doctor.

    My wife was a NAMI group leader and lead group sessions for those suffering from mental illness. National Alliance of Mental Health.
    I talked with her about dressing issues and we set ground rules. Growing my hair out and feminine dressing was fine with her but we needed to have a talk if I wanted to start HRT or hormone therapy.
    My body is more feminine than most so I have yet to start HRT. She noted that I was quite pleased at having small breasts that made easy to buy women's clothes that fit properly.
    I have switched to a PCP or primary care doctor that advertises LGBTQ expertise on her web page.

    Marion
    Last edited by Maid_Marion; 02-17-2022 at 07:39 AM.

  5. #5
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    I'm not familiar with India, so I don't know how much of your doctor's reaction is a cultural thing. Still - I'd suggest finding another, less intolerant, less bigoted doctor - as soon as possible.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    Did your doctor use the term "weirdness"? If so, I would find that very prejudicial and would be affronted, especially since you opened up to him and sought guidance. I am certainly no expert in the field, but I have understood the modern psychiatric community does not view crossdressing even as a disorder, just a behavior. If you are experiencing gender disphoria (and it sounds like you are) he is correct in referring you for therapy regarding that, but certainly not with the stigma he seems to attach to it.

  7. #7
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I went to a urologist in the USA when I was just beginning to dress. He told me to resist my urges!

    "The worst advice I could have gotten", an experienced psychotherapist I consulted told me!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  8. #8
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    I would not have wanted a psychotherapist to perform the radical prostatectomy on me that my urologist did; and, I would not want my urologist to offer me psychotherapy advice. That just seems so wrong.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    manemami, I'm so sorry about the physician's unprofessional behavior. You should seek out someone who specializes in gender issues.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  10. #10
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MonicaPVD View Post
    Unless your doctor has training in experience in a related field, he's just another guy with an opinion. The medical field is highly specialized but that doesn't stop many doctors from thinking they know everything about everything.
    I totally agree with Monica.

    I won't even admit that it's cultural. Some (many) doctors are way too willing to diagnose problems outside their narrow speciality.

    In this case, if he quacks like a duck, he is probably a quack. I'm not sure if the American slang makes sense to you, but find another doctor for you gender concerns.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  11. #11
    Member manemami's Avatar
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    he accepted that my physique is not in line with my male gender, then i said him that i want/ wish to develop breasts and at list wish to have calmness in mind. He said getting female harmones is weird thing and asked me you want to roam around as female? in his opinion i am already having secondary characters of female.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by alwayshave View Post
    manemami, I'm so sorry about the physician's unprofessional behavior. You should seek out someone who specializes in gender issues.
    we dont have gender specialists, there are psychiatric, then endo-chronologists and then plastic surgen and they dont work together
    I love to be in female attire and want to stay in it it as much time as possible.

  12. #12
    🌺🌸🌻🌸🌺🌸🌻🌸🌺 Patience's Avatar
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    This is where a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

    As others have pointed out, asking a physician for an opinion just because they are a physician can produce mixed results. Even the best cardiologist cannot be considered the ultimate (or even the second) opinion on brain surgery, for example.

    But also missing from this conversation is a real understanding on our part of the great depth and complexity of Indian culture. While I was coming to terms with my gender nonconformity, I turned to YouTube and came across a documentary on the Hijra, (Aka in India as the Kinnar) a social caste (if that's the term I want) who are comprised of genderless or transgender folk that are recognized as a third gender in India and have existed since ancient times.

    As I understand it, the Kinnar for the most part, if not all, tend to be poor and it is not unusual for them to be sex workers. Many people leave their families or are thrown out to join the Kinnar. It is a group who deal with a great deal of persecution.

    It's not totally unreasonable that your physician might conclude rightly or wrongly that your gender non-conformity might be a dangerous first step to wanting to become a Kinnar and referred you to someone who, in his view, would have better training to have the kind of conversation that would touch on this subject. The question that needs to be asked is: do you?

    I have always enjoyed you posts and love your outfits. I need to get a sarong. Sigh.
    Last edited by Patience; 02-20-2022 at 10:56 AM. Reason: Krig-ha Bandolo!
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  13. #13
    Junior Member julia.bowie's Avatar
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    I've been crossdressing for over 20 years but I have never viewed myself as "trapped in male body". In its purest form, crossdressing is nothing more than wearing the opposite sex's clothing. They are just clothes! For me, feelings of being "trapped in male body" go beyond crossdressing and into the transgender territory. It all depends on what you want out of life. I am quite happy crossdressing and don't want to be a woman, act like a woman, have feminine feelings (whatever that means), etc. But for others they see crossdressing as the first step on a long journey.

    I view the comment of "weirdness" somewhat questionable. When a woman dons a pair of trousers no one blinks an eye, but when a man wears a woman's blouse or skirt, it suddenly becomes weird - I don't think so! There are far more weird things out there than wearing clothing, which we've been doing as a species for thousands of years. When such people use words of "weirdness" what they really mean is "socially unacceptable", but who defines such metrics?

    Do what you feel is right and what makes you happy and sod everyone else. That is my advice, for what it is worth.

    BTW - If that is you in the member photo, all I can say is that you look really nice. Take care.

  14. #14
    Silver Member giuseppina's Avatar
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    Like the posters above, I think your family doctor's opinion is unprofessional. It's his/her job to provide medical advice, not judge you for something you cannot change.

    I would be inclined to find another primary care physician in your situation.

  15. #15
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    Years ago, I belonged to a "Triess" chapter in NJ.
    At one meeting a psychologist was there who wanted to learn all about CDs so she could treat them .She evidently did noy have a clue about CDs
    She really thought that just going to a meeting and asking a couple of people their opinions on couple of things, she then had all the knowledge she needed to start treating CD patients.
    She left thinking that all CDs are exactly the same as she never wanted a second option about anything.
    She seemed to no have a concept of gender dysphoria. and left thinking CDing was just a sexual hobby .

    I fund out a quite early age that psychologist are no different that most any other profession... there are good ones and very bad ones .




    .
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 02-21-2022 at 08:53 AM.

  16. #16
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    " I opened up to my family doctor but he said it is my weirdness to crossdress and need psychiatric treatment"

    Not very professional! He should have kept his mouth shut and just recommended you see a psychiatrist or psychologist it you feel the need, or perhaps referred you to one. His opinion is just that, an opinion. Don't let it bother you. He isn't trained in that area.

    I believe all of us here have some level of gender dysphoria or else we wouldn't be here. Whether you need treatment or not depends on you. A good portion of us cross dressers admit we are a bit different, and accept it. No need to seek professional help.

    if cross dressing gives you a huge amount of anxiety and/or guilt then perhaps it might do you good to seek a professional.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    Doctors? The profession that puts leaches on bodies. They are a general practitioner not an expert.Yours was very insensitive and unprofessional. I would self refer yourself or get a 2nd opinion. Ignore him or her and carry on regardless.You can CD in life without the need to seek professional advice . Providing you are comfortable in your own skin.

  18. #18
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Is this a cultural thing in India where a doctor would try to treat you with a psychiatrist in this situation? You say you don't have gender specialists there. Perhaps you could find a professional who could answer questions on line.

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