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Thread: Worst Way to be Caught (GG and CD Perspective)

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    Worst Way to be Caught (GG and CD Perspective)

    There have been countless posts on this forum that caution CDs that it's only a matter of time before being caught/discovered by their wife or girlfriend.

    This post isn't about whether or not a CD should give full disclosure in the early stages of a relationship; I think most here would agree that any potential SO should be given the decency of 'advance notice' in order to make a personal decision to stay or run. Rather, this post is aimed at the women who have discovered their SOs secret, as well as the CDs who were caught themselves.

    From a GGs perspective, what do you consider to be the worst way of finding out such a shattering discovery?
    - catching him dressed
    - finding a picture
    - finding an email or website
    - finding women's clothing
    - hearing about it from others

    Likewise, from the CDs perspective, what do you consider to be the worst way of being caught?

  2. #2
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    Worst way? Probably hearing about it second had.

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    Member Teresa.Smith.VA's Avatar
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    I think the worst way for a wife or SO to find out is hearing about it from others. She will likely be embarrassed and her social circles of friends or professional status could possibly be threatened.
    I honor my wife's request that I not post pictures.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    From a CD perspective, probably getting caught dressed. If you were trying to keep it secret, no way around that. From an SO perspective, I think second hand would be worst. No one likes to be the last to know.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    Don't do it the way I did it!

    I had been agonizing for weeks over how and when to tell her when I took that decision out of my own hands.

    My wife and I were due to leave on vacation with two other couples. On our way out the door she asked me to unlock my car so she could grab a jacket for me. I had been out shopping earlier in the day and unbeknownst to me a bag with some of my things had tipped over and something had fallen out. When I got home I grabbed the bag and stashed it away. All good... or so I thought. She opened my car door and just froze. Then in a tone of voice I can only describe as justifiably icy she asked "Why is there a bra in your car".

    I literally had 5 minutes to talk before we spent the next 18 hours in transit with our friends before we could be alone again.

  6. #6
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I thot seeing me dressed would be the worst!

    And, after nearly being caught by my live in, 17 y/o daughter a few times, I told her. She said she didn't care as long as she NEVER SAW ME DRESSED!

    I was rite!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    My wife found out when she came home from shopping with a friend and I had been out with the friend's husband. Earlier in the day I has washed some panties and hung then up to dry, but well hidden. When the hubby and I got home I remembered the panties and figured I should stash them quickly. When I went for them they were laying out on the ironing board in our laundry room. To this day I have no clue how she found them! The other couple was staying for dinner and visiting so my wife and I made uncomfortable eye contact until they left later that evening.

    Then the excrement hit the rotary air mixer.

  8. #8
    Member Lori Ann Westlake's Avatar
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    I should think the worst imaginable way to be caught was for a wife to walk into the bedroom and find her spouse dressed in her clothes, having sex with a man--on their marital bed!

    It's just fortunate that most CDs would never dream of doing such a thing--I hope!

  9. #9
    Member Mackem Sue's Avatar
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    You cross-dress in private just to find a neighbour catches you dressed randomly looking through your window because you forgot to pull the curtains or blinds.


    Sue

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    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
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    I have a different take on this notion (don't I always). I think the worst way would be for her to find the stash of clothes. For one thing, she could conjure up so many terrible reasons for them to be there, like having another woman on the side. Another thing, it would leave an avenue to create a howling lie to cover why they are there, rather than properly coming out with the truth. If she were totally forbidding, she would require the clothes to go away. If a photo was found, you might only have to lose the outfit in question. If I had to be caught, I would rather it be dressed in all my glory -- hopefully looking really good.

  11. #11
    Member Mackem Sue's Avatar
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    @Geena75

    Good post and fair comment.

    Sue
    Last edited by char GG; 02-24-2022 at 08:35 PM. Reason: Not necessary to quote the post directly before yours

  12. #12
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Alternately, doesn’t defining a worst way to get caught allude that there is a best or better way to get caught? Caught is caught, it’s all bad for both parties. IMHO

  13. #13
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    None are ideal ways to get caught. In keeping within the guidelines the OP requested, I would say "hearing about it from others". I heard about it from a neighbor. However, luckily, I already knew. It would have been awkward if I had been the last one in the neighborhood to know.

  14. #14
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Worst way to get gaught?

    Semi-undressed, with a stuck zipper.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  15. #15
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    What do I consider the worst way to be caught? Well, I can't remember ever being caught but, I can imagine what a bad situation could be.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  16. #16
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    First of all I have to say that I believe any of us in a relationship and hiding this subconsciously wants to be caught. Over time the secrecy and the lies eat at us. The guilt is a difficult burden to carry and we would all prefer that it be out in the open.
    That being said I have to agree that learning second hand would be most devastating. After that finding a picture would be next in my book and actually that's how my wife discovered me. I won't go into details now, but it was a very painful time for her.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  17. #17
    Junior Member Marsha Louise's Avatar
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    It troubles me some that we're using the word "caught" here, which to me implies that by crossdressing we're doing something wrong or illegal. I consider myself "discovered" as a CD, to both myself and my partner.
    I've never hidden this aspect of me since I first acknowledged it several years ago, and it's been an evolving process ever since.
    I try not to over think it, and just enjoy it.

  18. #18
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    I have to agree the worst way would be getting the news from a neighbor. My wife and I dabbled in lingerie (Nightie and hosiery) for me when we were first married. She found me wearing her nylon gown one night as I was getting a drink of water in the kitchen. I told her I liked the feel of nylon. That was the initial interest in women's clothing. When my interests expanded that brought about "The Talk" and her shutting down on participating at all. Since then it has been "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." She knows, but, I doubt she knows the full extent of my cross dressing. I know a neighbor, who spied on me over the back fence saw me. She and her nosy clan were gossipers and always talked to other neighbors. I do not know if that person spread around what she saw. I assume so, but, no neighbors gave me any indication they knew. I definitely would have known if my wife found out. Since then I curtailed sitting in our backyard en femme.

    I have always found it somewhat assuming that a woman would under take a challenge to dress up her husband or boyfriend for Halloween to the max, but, have a total melt down if she were to find him en femme at home.

  19. #19
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    Betrayal comes in many flavors, and is assimilated in many different ways. Everyone is different. Some women might call for a divorce after the most innocuous revelation. Others might be forgiving in even the most embarrassing of situations. Who knows. Personally, it's worth the very high risk for me. So I can't speak for anyone else.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    Getting caught which ever way is bad . But the consequences of being caught are worse. If the SOs never signed up for this could be divorce, separation , complete rejection, being disowned by own family and friends. My wife found my stash when decorating. Told me to get rid , abstain or its over.I complied which has kept us together. The urge never goes away though.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    For my sister, it was finding my girl side’s Facebook page. She hadn’t known before that, and seeing me dolled up and going out socially really shocked her.

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    I also agree that for my wife it would be hearing about it from others. That would hurt her a lot and I am sure it would really make things bad for us to be able to move forward. She is the practice administrator at the doctor I see. I have an appointment coming up this week. It will be the only day I do not underdress. For me my fear was that she would find something that I did not put away. Before we had The Talk I had hidden so many things in so many spots I had forgotten about them, and then would open a dresser drawer, pull something out and something else would fall on the floor or come along.

    She does not put my laundry away for me. However, one evening she was folding laundry and we were in the bedroom at the same time. She was putting away things and asked underwear in the top drawer? These were guy undies, and I said yes. She opened the drawer. I keep both types of panties in the same drawer. She smiled a little (noticing the black/white pair of polka dot panties on top) and then just put the others in the their spot. Nothing mentioned or said. I take that as improvement.

  23. #23
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    My wife found my duffel bag of stuff a few days before i got rid of it. How i still dont know. Led to talks and having thg he time of my life. Who would have thought

  24. #24
    Reality Check
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    The worst way to get caught is when your wife (who doesn't know or suspect) walks in and finds you fully dressed, with a wig, breast forms, hip and butt padding, a female outfit and heels prancing around the living room.

    There's no good explanation for that.
    Krisi

  25. #25
    Member ronny0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience View Post
    Worst way to get gaught?

    Semi-undressed, with a stuck zipper.
    AGREE, I have had a few outfits that I was able to get on, but not off w/o help.
    Thankfully I have a supportive & understanding girlfriend.
    Although she might laugh at me when I 'squeeze' into something and can't quiet squeeze out :-)
    I do LOVE her for being their for me.

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