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Thread: Mothers acceptance

  1. #1
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    Nov 2021
    Merseyside UK

    Mothers acceptance

    There have been many threads about wives and SOs acceptance of CD but have not seen many if any of mothers acceptance of CD. I would be interested to know of others that received their mothers acceptance or indeed fathers acceptance and to share their stories. My mother was brilliant when I came out to her in 2011 after my wife discovered my stash of clothing . My wife did not accept but my mum allowed me to dress at her home where I kept a wardrobe.I used to visit at least once every week did her shopping , had lunch and of course dressed.She bought underwear and tights as gifts for me and laundered them . She showed unconditional non judgemental love and support at a time in my life when I needed it most..Sadly she passed away in 2020 which curtailed my CD activities. I have great memories of growing up as her son and later being her daughter for a few hours each week.

  2. #2
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    I have a feeling my mother knew but never said anything about it.
    Sadly she passed a few years before I came out fully to my wife. Had she been alive I would have told her privately. I don't think I would have wanted my father to know.
    The closest my folks came to knowing was one Halloween. My wife agreed to let me dress and she borrowed an outfit from a friend. We showed the pictures to my parents. My mom saw them first and said to my dad "do you want to see what your daughter would have looked like had we had her?". Little did they know ... or did she?
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  3. #3
    Avatar is FaceAp enhanced Mary Loo's Avatar
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    Feb 2022
    Southeast US
    My mother is still around, but my wife is the only person (besides this forum) that I have ever talked to about CDing. However, as you stated, it wouldn’t surprise me if my Mom suspects. From my adolescent years that is, not for anything now.

  4. #4
    Member AmeeJo's Avatar
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    Feb 2022
    Central Valley, CA
    I'm pretty sure my mom would accept it without too much drama. I know she saw me once in one of her bras when I was a teenager. I was, ahem, "busy" at the time and I barely noticed the door closing ever so slowly after she saw me. She was the only one home at the time so I know it was her. She never mentioned it.
    We can only achieve what we dare to reach for.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
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    Jan 2010
    Going to seed!
    As a teenager, many decades ago , I had injudiciously put a pair of pantyhose under my pillow. My mom turned down my bed and discovered them. I know this only because they were missing when I went to bed that night. I was mortified.

    Nothing was ever said. I don?t know what her reaction was, but I have always feel a tinge of guilt when I imagine how she might have felt in the moment of discovery.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member LIKETODRESS2's Avatar
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    Jan 2010
    Butte montana
    When i was around 20 at my moms house and she seen the panties showing, She was not accepted at all I tried to explain how i felt she did not want to talk about it. And said do not ever bring this up again

  7. #7
    Member Marissa Q's Avatar
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    Sep 2021
    SF Bay Area, CA (US)
    Your Mom is a true jewel, Debbie, and you are, too. Although acceptance by an SO is very much sought after, I think it might be just a bit eclipsed by a mother's. I think there's nothing like it in the world.

    I'm very close with my Mom and was pretty close to my father who passed some years ago as well; there isn't a day that drifts by without us communicating via phone/facetime/etc. However, while I believe my Mom would be mildly accepting, I still think she's too bound up in the conventional social order to see it in any way other than something to "worry about". To be fair, though, I think that over time, she would become comfortable with it. Your very positive post is making me mull over the possibilities!

  8. #8
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
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    May 2005
    Live in Cornwall UK, born in Lancashire
    Hard question to answer for me. For sure my farther never did and never would have accepted my crossdressing. My mother was a business woman, as much as a mother and always loyal to him. They both knew I cross-dressed. I left home for the navy at a young age and it was never discussed again after that. I kept the extent of it from them for their entire lives as a result. My mothers second husband, after my farther passed, was a lovely man, but his views on GLBT where obvious from a few comments on the subject, so even after my father passed I never felt ok to discuss it again with my mum. I like to think mum would have accepted my female side, but alas, I will never know.
    Last edited by Jane G; 02-28-2022 at 01:51 PM.

  9. #9
    Senior Member missjoann49's Avatar
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    Mar 2010
    central Ma
    Basically it was my mother that started me off dressing as a girl. I was an only child, and my mother had always wanted a girl, so when I was around 3 or 4 yrs old she started dressing me as a girl whenever my dad wasn't home. When I started in school, as soon as I got home she had cloths already for me to change into. This continued into my first or second year of high school, I have to admit that there were times when I didn't know what I was supposed to be, a boy or a girl. I did love and still do the feeling of the female cloths against my skin. Long story short this is who I am today and very happy with my life now

  10. #10
    Senior Member Christie ann's Avatar
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    Oct 2007
    out and about
    Ya, there was no acceptancefrom either parent. I did the usual stupid things as a pre teen and would get caught and then did the unthinkable and asked my parents if the could let me be their daughter on a short summer trip. They were not abusive but did make it clear that any male wanting to dress as a female was sick and that perhaps a visit to a doctor would be in order.

    I learned that day to hide this side of me. Just typical 1960’s parents in a mostly happy loving household.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    My mom was a single mother from when I was 2 and on. I had an older brother at home. I think she felt an enormous responsibility towards both of us, and tried very, very hard to be the best mother ever. She was truly amazing in just about all aspects, except for my crossdressing.

    When I was 13, she discovered my pairs of pantyhose stupidly hidden underneath my mattress. We had a talk. Rather, I sat and listened and she lectured me for a long time. This was in the 70s. I think she was terrified of something happening where someone found out and her kids would be taken from her. She was, I think, very worried about the massive impact this would have on my brother and I. In retrospect, her lecture was an act of love, but I most emphatically didn't see it that way at the time. I barely said a word during this lecture. It didn't stop me from crossdressing though. The lecture taught me to never say anything to her about it and to do a far better job of hiding my stash. She never found my stash again, and we never spoke about it again.

    I count myself very, very blessed for the amazing mother that I had. I wish she would have been more accepting, but if that's the only complaint I have I am extremely fortunate.

  12. #12
    Junior Member
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    Jan 2022
    i'm guessing my mother had a clue that i tried on some of her clothes when i was younger. i don't believe she'd be accepting of knowing the full truth

  13. #13
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Washington, DC
    My mother knows, as she asked me about it around 15 years ago. Not a deep conversation. She just asked me if I still crossdress, I said yes. That was it.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  14. #14
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    Jan 2022
    Coastal SC
    My mother passed 26 years ago and long before I gave even a hint about crossdressing. However, knowing my mother as I did, I suspect if she were alive today and I told her how much I enjoyed this part of my life, she would encourage me to go for it. After all, it was her lingerie that first tempted me in my childhood.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  15. #15
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    Jan 2013
    New Zealand
    I was 18 and came home from base.
    I'm used to doing my own washing, but my mum went through my kit bag and did the washing for me.
    Including stockings, undies, bra, swimsuit, skirt and top.
    She washed and folded everything
    She asked whose they were and I said mine
    She replied - don't tell dad.

    Decades later, my mum had passed, but when helping dad to move home, I wore leggings and a pretty red shoe string top.
    He asked about it and I said they made me feel comfortable and he said "okay good"

    Being English, being brought up on Benny Hill and now you have a few other series where males dress as females (I've a photo of my dad and a friend as young boys, posing wearing a bra at the beach - for fun), I suppose it's always been part of the English culture - remember boys played the parts of females in theater because women weren't allowed to be actors.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at

  16. #16
    Senior Member kayegirl's Avatar
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    Feb 2009
    West Yorkshire England
    My Mother knew for sure, and I believe that my Father was also aware, but I was never caught, and nothing was ever said. I suspect that was for two reasons. First of all my Mother came from a large family, 7 siblings, and her father was an unpleasant violent man, as a consequence Mum would do anything to avoid conflict at home. The second, and probably most important reason was that I never used, or even thought about using any of her clothes. I had an older sister, and it was from her wardrobe that I found my apparel.

  17. #17
    closet dresser Melissa73's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    I came out to my mother about a year after my wife found out and we separated. When I came out to my mother as I was telling her she's she was like oh I know. And ever since then he is 100% supported me until she died a few years later she was asking questions like where I got my clothes. And about going out she always wanted me to be careful. Made me wonder if I shouldn't have come out to her earlier we could have got shopping or something

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Jun 2017
    Central Fla.
    I'm pretty sure my mother knew something was up before I told her. I remember coming home from a visit to her (I lived out of state), only to find that I'd forgotten and left a nightie there.
    The next visit, I found it washed, folded, and sitting on the dresser.

    When I DID tell her - her only comment was "Oh. I thought you were going to tell me you were gay." That was it. No big deal. No fireworks, drama, or rejection. I might as well have said "The sky is blue."
    And to think I'd agonized over whether or not to tell her for SUCH a long time.

    My father? No way would I have ever let him know.
    My mom's second husband was not someone I could have told either. He was very much the "manly man" type.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member josie_S's Avatar
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    Aug 2008
    Northeast somewhere
    I'm pretty certain my mom at least suspected, and I think she was worried about me being gay--which to her would have been the same thing. She would never have accepted then, or now. Our relationship is strained, but not because of this. I have not come out to her nor would I; I'm pretty certain that would only do more damage to her and me.

  20. #20
    Junior Member JustJennifer's Avatar
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    Oct 2021
    I never told my mother directly, and when I was a kid I imagined I was far too careful for her to ever figure out that I was wearing her clothes and makeup when she was out of the house. However, I also kept a diary detailing all my dressing up and my feelings about wanting to be a girl, and I know she found where I was hiding it. Whether she read it, I'll never know, but I can't imagine she didn't.

    Before the diary thing, my mother would occasionally talk about how she had wanted a girl, and actually raised me as a girl for the first few years of my life. Afterwards, I don't think she ever mentioned it again.

    Unfortunately, she's long gone now, so it's not possible to have that talk with her. Whether she would have accepted this side of me never really mattered, but I would want her to know that I'm okay with who I am.

  21. #21
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Acceptance from my mom? Never!

    We were sitting and visiting at her home one day and she always has the TV on. There was a documentary that came on that showed some CD'ers. The channel was changed in about one second and she kept ranting and raving about how disgusting that was and they should be locked up somewhere. I had to finally tell her that it was enough, we got the point and went on to say as long as they are not hurting anyone else I don't see the issue. The glare I got from her was something else. I have never seen her with so much hate in her eyes. That was the end of the discussion! When my wife and I left we talked about it and my wife said, Well, now you know how she feels about CD'ers! It might be best not to bring that subject up again!"

    I find it funny how something will just "set off" a person, but in the mean time they are doing things that are definitely not acceptable by many. Years ago my mom and dad got divorced and lets just say she was playing the field. I heard some comments from people that she was messing around with married guys and more. So I guess screwing around is ok, but just don't wear a dress if you are male!

  22. #22
    Junior Member Marsha Louise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    Maine USA
    Hi Pumped,
    Your closing statement brings to mind:
    "What were once vices are now habits"
    The Doobie Brothers, 1974.
    How things have, and continue to change.
    Fashion liberated and loving it!

  23. #23
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    My mother caught me when I was around 16.
    She said she didn't mind me wearing the clothes she kept in the attic and just to put them back the way I found them.
    I don't think she told dad but, she told my older sisters that I was going through a phase that boys go through.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  24. #24
    Member Helena's Avatar
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    Dec 2006
    Bolsover, Derbyshire, England
    When I was young the house we rented had some ball gowns left in one of the unused rooms. I used to dress up in them till one day I got the "boys don't do that" talk, not harshly or angrily, and they disappeared.

    Fast forward a few years. I would be surprised if I didn't leave some clue that she spotted, as in something not exactly the way she left it.

    In my early forties I was desperate to tell her and was just working up courage when she unexpectedly died. It is one of my biggest regrets that I didn't manage to tell her.

    I think she would have been fine, as she cared for everyone.

  25. #25
    New Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2021
    When I was little, she asked me several times to dress up as a girl once but I always refused and pretended to get upset even though I so wanted to do it. I guess my parents just wanted to see how I would have looked as their daughter once. They wanted another child but couldn't have another one, so I was one and only. A few times I was also confused for a girl when I was little especially if my hair were covered by a winter hat or a hood. I missed more opportunities throughout elementary and middle school to dress up as a female character. I always ran away from the opportunities because I thought something was wrong with me wanting to dress like a girl secretly.

    On a vacation from college early in my twenties, I offered my mom that I would dress up in her dress once to fulfill her request. She didn't like the idea and said it was different when I was little. I never brought it up again and I wouldn't again. I had several moments when she almost caught me dressing in her clothes growing up, but I narrowly escaped each time. I don't think she ever suspected.

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