Man in the ladies section...

[Molly Wells]

I needed to pick up some things from Kohls for the guy me.
I had been thinking about getting a new bra and some panties as well.
So, I'm in guy mode and go to the men's dept to get what I needed. Right across the aisle is the lingerie so I went to the area. There were a couple of ladies in the area and that old feeling of "man in the ladies section" came over me and I decided to leave with out getting anything.
I remember thinking to myself as I had walked into the lingerie area "I wish I had had time to get dressed and be a woman to go shopping."

When I'm dressed I feel normal and love shopping "in the ladies section" and never feel nervous or anxious. Today as I guy, no courage... I know, silly me.

Anybody else ever feel this way?

Molly

[Jeri Ann]

Mind games Molly, mind games.

[StacyG]

It's amazing the power we give to strangers we will never meet or see again. When I was a teenager, I was at Sears at the mall during Christmas time. Of course the mall was packed to the gills and here i am next to a rack along the main aisle, holding a pair of red tap panties in awe and wonder. I was totally entranced by them and out the blue a man walks by and says "that's not your color." Snapped me back to reality but then i realized he had no idea who I was shopping for, he was just being silly. Like when I see a friend holding his wife's purse and say, That goes great with your outfit.

[Marsha Louise]

Whenever I go browsing the aisles of the women's section, I try to appear focused and serious about what I'm doing, and avoid giving off signals that I'm doing something sneaky or unusual, or that I'm somehow trespassing.
I also bring along a small tape measure that I brandish frequently and unapologetically as I view and consider items for purchase. Of course, I know my own measurements and relative sizes, but nobody else there knows whether I'm shopping for me, my partner, a theatre group or a women's shelter. Plus, measuring the various seams helps me avoid the need to try things on in-store.
Usually I'm dressed in a neat, hybrid mode, the way most people are used to seeing me, and I've never experienced any kind of prejudice or hostility, shopping or otherwise.
Try bringing a tape measure with you next time you go clothes shopping: another shopper might need and appreciate your "expert" assistance!

[StephanieLake]

So far I have only shopped in drab mode. When I first started, lingerie was all I was buying and at first I thought all the women were watching me. After time, I got more comfortable with it. Now I'm shopping for outer clothes and I go to the women's section and browse like I belong there. If I'm with my wife, and we are local, she doesn't like me to hold the clothes up to see if they fit, but if we are out of town or I'm alone, I have no problem doing it. So far, no one has said a word. If they do, I plan on being honest and say it's for me.

[kimdl93]

Sure. I seldom shop for mens clothing in person any more, but on those rare ocassions the same thought has occured to me.

[Petra Lynn]

I used to worry about what other people thought when I?d shop in the women?s department in guy mode. Nobody gives a second thought to women shopping in the men?s department, so why should we really be worried, I also no longer care what anyone else thinks.

[Jane G]

Never shopped dressed. Pretty comfortable shopping drab in the ladies section. I guess it is what you are used to.

[docrobbysherry]

Nope. Just the opposite! Since I'm obviously a, "man in a dress", muggles all notice me! Whether they approve, disapprove, or just look away quickly, I find all of it a distraction and stressful!

When I go shopping, it's about shopping. NOT about having everyone notice me.

U can be all upset that u were stared at or miss gendered. As the old guy in the ladies section I may just be stared at momentarily by a few random shoppers. Wondering if I'm buying shape wear for my girlfriend or wife? But, the helpful SA's won't bat an eye while helping the "nice old man"! And, I'll be out of there in few relaxed minutes with my goodies!

[AngelaYVR]

I remember using the women’s bathroom in a department store years ago and overhearing two women complaining about a man in the lingerie section. Why is he there? What is he doing? I decided discretion was called for in this situation and remained in the stall until they left. (BTW, it is perfectly legal anywhere in Canada to use the bathroom that corresponds to your presentation)

[Jamie390]

I used to try to shop for womens stuff either when the store first opened or later in the evening because there were less people in the store to "bust"me. However the more that I did it, the more I noticed that other shoppers do not really care or even notice that I am a guy dressed as a guy looking at and trying on womens clothes. Just this past weekend I was trying swimsuits at Target. I came out of the fitting room, hung three swimsuits on the go back rack right in front of a Target employee. She saw what I was returning, smiled and told me to have a nice day. Now she might tell her friends and co-workers what she saw, why should I care? It doesn't make me uncomfortable anymore.

[Gillian Gigs]

For many years I have purchased lingerie items, dressed in male mode. It took time to get comfortable doing it until it became perfectly natural. Only once did I remove myself from a situation. A woman, who was obviously 'not all there' started saying, "ha ha what is a man doing looking at stockings and pantyhose". I left and area and returned once she was gone. Now I think that most people are so into themselves that they notice nothing outside of themselves.

[JulieC]

I remember using the women?s bathroom in a department store years ago and overhearing two women complaining about a man in the lingerie section. Why is he there? What is he doing?

This irritates me. I see women in the men's section of stores all the time. No one ever thinks anything of it. This includes underwear. But a man? Setting foot in a lingerie section? HORROR OF HORRORS! SOME ONE CALL THE SOCIETY POLICE! QUICK!

[nancy58]

I feel the same discomfort shopping in drab in the women's section -- and especially the lingerie department. In the other women's departments, I can feel comfortable in responding, should anyone ask, that 'm shopping for a gift. The funny thing is, when crossdressing first came roaring into the front of my life 17 years ago, I was reasonably going into Victoria's Secret in the city, where a sales lady cautioned me against buying my woman a bra.

Really, if you're minding your own business, you should be able to shop to your heart's content, but you have to defeat the most threatening thing -- your own mind.

[Patience]

In the beginning, shopping for anything feminine anywhere felt awkward as heck, but since I got used to it, I have come to enjoy it. The only section I'll admit to skim sorta quickly is the underwear section, but the selection in my size tends to be limited, so it can be done quickly enough.

@Angela: Great story. If only that woman knew. Lol.

[Crissy 107]

Just last week I was in Walmart and of course passing through the ladies department, I always do. There was a guy with a cart full of groceries, two young kids and he was looking through the multi packs of panties. Maybe he was looking for his wife but I doubt it.

[Geena75]

Dresses I can do without thinking twice. I still feel a little nervous when shopping for "unmentionables." I still pull out a note so it looks like I'm shopping for someone, but, honestly, what woman would send a man out to get her a bra or panties?

[FrannGurl]

It doesn't bother me much, especially as I've gotten older... I Love Kohls too!

[TAG]

I worked retail for 2 years and the guy with a note thing is well known thing among dept store workers.
I heard some funny comments and some not so funny comments about the "note"guys.

[Heather76]

The first 2 or 3 times I went into the lingerie departments I was mildly nervous. That feeling has long since left me. I look at bras, panties, stockings, nighties, and dresses without giving a 2nd thought to what others might think. If any other customer were rude enough to say anything, I'm prepared to tell them I'm shopping for a surprise to give to my wife. That's the truth as my wife seeing me in something new could well be a surprise. If a SA asked if they could help me, I'd be up front in telling them I'm looking for something for myself. If it were a dress, I'd inquire if it would be okay to use the fitting room. I don't believe they could help me effectively if they are working under a misconception. Age is a great help in not particularly caring what others you don't know think.

[Marissa Q]

There are a lot of great comments/thoughts in this thread, but this one from TAG sticks out at me:

I worked retail for 2 years and the guy with a note thing is well known thing among dept store workers.

For me, this just tells me that I simply need to own it because I'm not fooling anyone (except myself).
If it's any consolation, 50 years ago you would have likely been arrested for panty shopping. In a country that reminds its citizens every hour on the hour that the USA is the "land of the free", well... we really should loosen up and enjoy some of that freedom.

I'm basically a "closeted" CD, too, but I often find it funny how many of us act as if we're living in some authoritarian dictatorship that's ready to drop the hammer on us for even looking at a department store bra. It's all an illusion, really (and one I'm guilty of as well). Thanks for all the reminders in this thread of how it's really all in my own mind.

[Fiona_44]

I used to feel very self-conscious shopping (usually in Kohl's) for lingerie dressed in male clothing. I even tried the "guy with a note" trick. But after awhile I just didn't care anymore. I go to a Kohl's about 30 min. away rather than another one close to where I live and just go about my business without looking at anyone in the lingerie section. 99% of the women shopping there don't really care if a guy's shopping for intimates.

[Krea]

As an enby (one who obviously doesn't pass) i was a little apprehensive the first time i went shopping on the better side of the aisle, but it's just a confidence thing. Now, i don't care who sees me buying female things. If they don't approve then they are the ones who have the problem, not me.
You're not doing anything wrong, if you behave normally and get on with your shopping. Don't be nervous or furtive, it just draws attention to you. Be confident. Walk in like you own the place!

[rachellegsep]

Paper list has to be upgraded now to message on phone

[Kimberly A.]

Hi, Molly. Tbh, I used to be that way. I go shopping from time to time in "male mode" for pantyhose and I used to get nervous about that, but not anymore..... Just the other day while in "drab", I was shopping in the women's section for a new shaper, but couldn't find one in my size. LOL But, I feel pretty much the same as everyone else feels..... If no one bats at eye at a woman shopping in the men's section, then why should anyone give a hoot about a man shopping in the ladies' section??