I use to avoid shopping for women's clothing in drab, but no more. I pick out what I want and take it to the cashier. If anybody asks if it's for me I always give them a big smile and say"absolutely."
I use to avoid shopping for women's clothing in drab, but no more. I pick out what I want and take it to the cashier. If anybody asks if it's for me I always give them a big smile and say"absolutely."
This thread makes me want to go shopping all dressed up but go the men's dept. and shop for myself. That would be interesting and amusing.
I don't get worried about the looks I get - but I do feel them. However, this reminds me of a time my wife and I were at JC Penny shopping in panty section (for both of us) and I don't know if they heard us talking or just didn't think a man should be shopping with his wife on such a place - but these older women walked by and made some kind of rude comment to us. Can't remember what they said but I thought it was funny until it made my wife not want to get panties for us.
Just before Covid, around 2019, I was travelling for business in male-mode. I stopped at a Goodwill in the north Dallas, TX area and found the prettiest long, flowing nightgown in a sheer seafoam green (think "Endora" from Bewitched). Surprisingly, it was a plus size and fit me very well. The cashier gave me a sly look and then she said in a low voice that the nightie matched my eyes and added that she thought it would look good on me. I didn't know if she was serious or joking, but I thanked her for the compliment. Then, not to be outdone, I added that I had already tried it on and that I knew it looked good on me. Still looking for matching panties ...
I've done this alot, and mostly in pretty busy walmarts. Online shopping is a lifesaver, btw.
But when I still go in person, I just walk in like normal. Never really encountered any weird looks, and for sure nobody has said anything.
It's easier than you think. It stressed me out for awhile, but I got over it. If you really need cover, buy some men's socks, underwear or shirts, and if you think somebody's gonna say something, say "we're out here on vacation, forgot a few essentials."
That's the bull crap that floats around from non-accepting people; stick their nose in where it does not belong. She was not trying to be "helpful." She was giving out political commentary. The worst stare I ever got when shopping for a fem garment occurred when I was standing in line at a Fred Meyer (Kroger) with a vivid red Vanity Fair bra in my hand. Even though it was Christmas time a guy gave me such a hostile stare I've never forgotten; almost "How dare you ever hold a bra in your hand!" I took it as I was attacking the masculinity of the world by holding a bra.
Stephanie,
Your post reminded me of an occasion a few years back. I was shopping at Wal Mart, in male mode, and had selected some make up, jewelry and some panties as well as a couple of clothing items. I was not as comfortable shopping then as I am today and rarely went out. As I was checking out an older man was in line behind me and made some comment about a man buying that stuff. I was embarrassed and know I turned red but made my purchases and went on. I do remember several people looking when he made his comments. He made it seem as though I was committing a terrible wrong. I recognize today it was his stupidity and narrow mind.
Shop On!!
Molly
Hi Stephanie,
Most of us have probably experienced harshness when shopping ranging from harsh looks to harsh words. I am no way in a position to pass so I try to shop in male mode as a gentleman. I don't try to hide from narrow-minded people, but I do try to avoid them by focusing my shopping to establishments that are welcoming at least of my patronage and hopefully welcoming to me as an individual. I have found many establishments that fall into that category and I plan to visit several tomorrow.
I put on my big girl panties every day.
When I go to the ladies section I am in full Natalie mode. I do not care who sees me. Or what they say. But I never had a bad comment. I did stop in CVS once and I was wearing a tank top and cute shorts as Natalie. I thought the store would be relatively quiet. Boy was I wrong. I was in line to check out with 5 other men between 30 and 45. I felt myself break out in a sweat. But being in CA, nothing was said.
I don't shop around my home but I always do it in guy mode. Besides shopping at the department stores I will shop at stores that just cater to women clothes. I will even ask to try on things. I am a pretty stout guy and no way can I pass. Most of the time I don't have any issues even if the SA is going out of her way by asking "SIR SIR do you need help SIR!" That is the SA I will make sure to ask if I can try something on. Just to see the look on her face. But as Molly said, once in a while I will be shopping and all of a sudden I will get anxiety. A lot of times if there, all of sudden, a child present.
What Suzanne said,
I just want to be comfortable and the more comfortable I am the easier it is and others around me seem to recognize my comfortability. Something like that!
As many as 43 percent of all people with gender dysphoria attempt suicide in their lives. dont let yourself become part of that very tragic statistic.
Balance-Dignity-Acceptance-Responsibility-
Great topic Molly, I am not 'out' yet but I have always loved shopping for lingerie in store. Early on in my shopping days I would say it was for a girlfriend but eventually I decided to tell the SA that I was a CD and was looking for something for a romantic night with my boyfriend. Each of the SAs who came up to me were very nice and helpful, suggested something beautiful, and the feeling was exhilarating.
One problem of shopping in store is the bewildering array of bras, panties, shapewear, suspenders etc. on display.
I was looking for a soft bralette with no underwire, but I was confronted by walls of outsize support bras, sports bras, F cup plunge bras, strapless bras, full cup bras, minimiser bras etc.
Even if you can negotiate this Maginot line of underwear, it's difficult to be certain if the bra you desire is exactly what you want.
But online, you can see the bra being modelled, you can see the band fastening, the cleavage and the strap buckles.
First time: I was standing just outside the lingerie department at Nordstrom when a coworker and his wife walked by and he nodded to me. I did a major blush. It was around Christmas and a few weeks later the guy commented he thought it was pretty cool for a guy to buy his wife nice lingerie for a present.
Wosrst: I was in drab in Target shopping for panties when a group of junior high girls came over. One of them pointed at me and said very loudly "thats a guy over there .. thats SOOO creepy!!" Then each of the others added a similar comment. It just caught me off.
Latest: I was at Kohls en femme looking for a nightgown. A 50ish lady was pushing a shopping cart with a toddler sitting in it while her 30ish daughter was perusing the sleepwear racks as well. As I walked past, the lady burst out laughing. Once past her she said to the toddler and her daughter "Nothing ....gramma just thought of something really funny".
Best: Shopping at Kohls en femme when a lady asked me whether one top looked better than another witb a skort she had in her hand. Soon an SA joined the conversation. We solved the first lady's dilemma and then they helped me pick out a cute outfit as well!!
People will talk ... just go with it.
Wow! I thought I was the only one. I believe with me it was being brainwashed at a young age. I'm going to go back to when there was only one car in the family and we would all go shopping together. When we would hit that big department store the boys would go one way and the girls would go the other. My father would tell me that we don't go there, we go to the sports and men department. Still till today when I enter the women's department I feel like all the women are stairing at me. Once my wife dared me to get a pair of pantyhose for myself, when I got to the section there was a lady there and I chickened out. I don't know I would really like to overcome this because I think I would really enjoy doing some fem shopping myself.
I always wonder about a woman in the mens section What ARE they doing there
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
Nobody else can really know the reason a guy is shopping in the women's section unless you make it obvious. A man might be buying for an SO who is in hospital, disabled, hates shopping or any number of reasons. We should be able to shop in any department without fear or confrontation.
I was talking to an SA at Macys in the lingerie department, unfortunately our Macys closed, and she said they can always spot a guy shopping for himself. This SA was very helpful and nice but my point is to just try and own it and you may be surprised how much fun it can be and how easy
Crissy
Hi Crissy,
Totally agree with you.
Davina
I always enjoy this topic when it comes up and have enjoyed reading all the great replies. I started buying women's clothes in person as soon as I was out of my folks' house. This was pre-internet and it was really my only option if I wanted my own women's clothes--and I certainly did! They say necessity is the mother of invention, so I invented some courage and just dove in. I began with panties and sleepwear as that's where my crossdressing interests started. I was a little nervous at first like most, but powered through and just did it. The only time I had a customer or SA say anything about me buying girly stuff was when a SA asked me if the panties were for me when I was checking out. The tone was playful teasing and not mean at all. I just laughed it off and said no it was for a GF. I even joked by saying something like she must have had guys buy her clothes. I still don't think she bought it but it really was kind of a sweet interaction and I got what I came in for.
Later in life when my crossdressing interests developed into fully dressing, I started buying women's outerwear in department stores and always bought in guy mode. It took a while until I felt comfortable trying stuff on in store as that removed all doubt that I was buying for me. But I'm fully there now and my favorite dresses are ones that I've tried on and fit perfectly. I'm comfortable now asking an SA to let me into the changing room with an armful of dresses.
Back before I retired and I was driving truck I often went to thrift stores for clothes, especially when I was looking for clothes to wear while greasing the truck's zerks. I'd buy jeans and a shirt which didn't cost much and maybe wear them twice or even three times then throw them away as they were too greasy to keep. Now most men don't give their old jeans to a thrift store like women do so I seldom was able to find cheap men's jeans, but the ladies racks were usually full so once I learned my size in women's pants, I'd get a couple of pairs. At three or four dollars for a pair of jeans to grease the truck and a couple more for a shirt or blouse, men's or women's, I was happy to have throwaway outfits.
Once in a while I'd find a really great looking pair of shorts and a blouse and buy them too. Not once in the 18 years I drove a truck did I have anyone comment on my purchase in the stores. I did encounter one "ugly" comment when I was in a shoe store buying a pair of wedge sandals. Some young girls 16-18 yo commented about my sizing them (not trying them on but placing them next to my shoes) to my feet. About two seconds later the lady I was shopping with came up and asked if they would fit her. I replied, "I think so, but you'd better try them on." I did buy them and wear them when we were on a run together and she wanted to know how well they fit me. She knew they were for me.
Great leaders are not great because of their words or deeds but because of the greatness they inspire from others."
(Legends of the StarDancer)
Maria,
Try this, go for a bra fitting and have them set you up in a room...if you are in the SE US try SOMA,
they are quite trans friendly,crossdressers...
Davina
I am more apprehensive going into the lingerie section. Once I am in there it seems like a little different world and I don’t have as much concern.
In my opinion there shouldn't be any feelings of shame at all. I go to the woman's section all the time in drab. I go alone and/or with my SO. I really don't think anyone really cares.
Hell, I even get my panty liners, feminine spray, makeup, nail polish etc. No one really pays attention; maybe just a quick glance but no weirded out looks or cares. Just my 2 cents.
I have found that if I dress in Sunday best boy mode and shop directly like some men like to, ya know get in grab it get out, no one cares or looks funny at me. SA are so helpful asking me shopping for someone special. I like to say her birthday is coming up. Of course shopping lingerie close to valentines day is the best excuse ever for a fella to be in there.