Cheri, maybe you're thinking about this wrongly?
U should be thanking your lucky stars that you've had 48 years of support for your dressing!
Now, u have to live like most married CD's do. DADT, hiding, lying, guilt, etc. etc!
Cheri, maybe you're thinking about this wrongly?
U should be thanking your lucky stars that you've had 48 years of support for your dressing!
Now, u have to live like most married CD's do. DADT, hiding, lying, guilt, etc. etc!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
No matter how you and your wife resolve this unexpected development in your relationship, Cheri will always exist! You may need to compromise on your dressing, but if you try to let Cheri "cease to exist," it will probably be more painful in the long run. Cheri has been a big part of you and she isn't ever going away..... Hugs, LarissaOriginally Posted by cheri
Cheri, maybe you're thinking about this wrongly?
U should be thanking your lucky stars that you've had 48 years of support for your dressing!
Now, u have to live like most married CD's do. DADT, hiding, lying, guilt, etc. etc!I love our members here!
Both great responses and so true.
Plus no matter you have us here to vent.
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You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️
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I strongly concur with others have said about Cheri still every much existing. This has been you for decades. Not that it could disappear, but it isn't going to disappear after a single event like this. Repressed, yes. Gone, no. Cheri, I think docrobbysherry is right too; be thankful for the 48 years you did have with Cheri being accepted. Now, it's off to Don't Ask, Don't Tell land. Very unfortunate.
I also agree with what others have said that there's something more going on here. We don't know what anymore than you do of course, but SOMEthing is going on. The notion that she never accepted Cheri is provably false.
Cheri, I am so sorry this happened to you. I. would attempt to speak with her probing why this came out all of a sudden.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
If she changed her mind suddenly this way she could also change her mind suddenly the other way. It's important that you listen carefully and keep communication open.
I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.
Not sure what gaslighting even means.
Did your wife catch you doing something online that you shouldn't have? I could see her getting mad over something like that.
Nothing more can be said ,but all that has been was good advice, so sorry for your paine so hope it turns out for the best love ya Jenn! xoxoxox
xoxoxoJennifer Easton
Mighty bold talk for a one-eyed fat girl!
Cheri is not responding. Without hearing from her wife, we just have to rely on the tried and true method of knowing that there are two sides to every story. Experience tells me that people leave out important details to make themselves look innocent.
This is such an unfortunate situation especially after so many years of supposed tolerance, but my guess is that you may have passed a tipping point in your activity, and regaining a balance - and your wife's trust - may not be easy. I've done this myself a couple of times, imagining everything was fine, when suddenly my SO calls me out with a "reality check" and very abruptly retrieves me from the pink fog.
It's easy to confuse tolerance with acceptance, and occasionally wander past the behavioral boundaries. Ideally, we can retrace our steps safely, with no harm done, but sadly, sometimes we cannot.
I wish you and your wife a full and swift recovery, Cheri.
Fashion liberated and loving it!
Just a guess, but the same happened to me... Someone, some where, said/did something to a CD that she saw and was terrified that she would be "embarrassed" in the same way.....
The Pink Fog is thick with this one....
If someone would make some snide comment about a CD'er in public I am pretty sure they would get an ear full from my wife. She doesn't take well to people putting down others.
It's always a problem to use one word to describe something that requires a long explanation. I had to look up "gaslighting" and still remain confused. I tend to think in sentences and paragraphs.
I know this may be off-topic, but my understanding of gaslighting is when someone covertly plays subtle mind games with another in an attempt to manipulate that person's sense of their own self and sanity. Basically it's a sneaky way to convince another person that they've gone crazy, when in actual fact they have not.
Fashion liberated and loving it!
Sure sounds like a well comsidered answer
Good luck.
Im sure there is more to the story but if After 48 years of "acceptance ", you go through this, the rest of us are probably a bit nervous.
I went through this a bit. My wife was tolerating some things and i crossed an undefined boundary. But she tolerated and played along bc she loves me. We had a talk and ive dialed some things back. We will have another talk but with all the things going on with work, family, kids, etc. This is not the time. She doesn't want me stop so thats good. She stikl encoured me to wear my booties to dinner and stuff.
We are having a great time now. I am just spending more of it naked than in a teddy or panties.
I don't post much, but I do read most of the threads, and as I was reading yours, I had an immediate thought when you explained your event, and it seemed extremely bizarre for such a radical turnabout.
Just doing some basic math, your ages are around 70-ish, and this day and age, is not "old", but obviously we all start having physical ailments as we age. Has she had a recent sickness or overall change in her demeanor or attitude in general? A lot has been mentioned about something more in play here, and I agree, but it might be something completely unexpected.
That kind of significant change in direction, indicates a break of some sort in the thinking processes.
I would say observe, and if there are clues of a change in mental acuity, your concern may ultimately be for her health.
Good luck and hope all comes to a good result.
Last edited by LingerieLuvr; 03-27-2022 at 09:55 PM.
Thank you all for your input. As of yet, we have not had a conservation about her remarks. Having a huge family wedding out of state, we acted as if all was fine and great. I am still lost as to how to start the conversation. Not have sure how she could react. I have played it out in my mind. I look back and I have missed changes in her I should have seen. I think there is more than I thought. Her fault or mine. We shall see. Thanks for all for your advice and thoughts.
Cheri,
There is a reason why her attitude has changed, this might hurt, 1 shes found someone else, 2 she finds it repulsive, 3 she wants a man not someone one dresses in womens clothes
now its not the end of the world, but just see it from her point of view as I described, take a deep breath, ask her , yes ask her, make it clear what you want and how far you want to go with your dressing, phew said a whole lot of things to do there that normally take years to sink in or do
I'm just wondering if she wants out of the marriage - maybe because she feels life is passing her by - and is using your cross dressing as the easiest way to justify to herself her disloyalty at this late stage in the game. Easier than taking the blame herself.
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