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Thread: What is the correct title / label?

  1. #1
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    What is the correct title / label?

    What is the name/titles?

    1. We call a person who only dresses at home a "Closet Dresser" or "Closet Queen".
    2. What do we call someone who just under-dresses? "_______"
    3. What do we call those who are occasionally / selectively dresses? "_______"
    4. What do we call those who dress 24/7? "_______"

    When someone is dressed and/or acting male, I typically use "Sir" or assorted titles associated with males.
    When someone is dressed and/or acting female, I typically use "Miss" or assorted titles associated with females.
    When someone is dressed and/or acting a bit of both, I try to use a gender title that is closest to what I perceive that they are trying to be.

    I do not know the full answer and would like it explained / sorted out please. Anyone else need it explained / sorted out?
    Last edited by Leslie Mary S; 03-28-2022 at 05:11 PM.
    Leslie Mary Shy
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  2. #2
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    I guess all of the above, Or none of the above.
    Sometimes it is best not to have a Label.

  3. #3
    Member Taylor Dame's Avatar
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    I'm not one who likes labels. Everyone is an individual with different needs and feelings, and should not be relegated to specific labels. At one time or another, I have fit three of them.
    "When you come to a fork in the road, Take it!" - Yogi Berra
    I guess I did!

  4. #4
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    What is the name/titles?

    1.
    2. What do we call someone who just under-dresses? "Chilly.
    3. What do we call those who occasionally / selectively dress? At risk of being arrested for public indecency.
    4. What do we call those who dress 24/7? Astronauts.

    Was that right? Are there any prizes?

    Seriously, now, what you are saying makes sense, especially the bit about how to address people according to their presentation, but I also wonder if focusing so much on nomenclature can turninto some kind of hermetic rabbit hole which is so specialized its usefulness in day to day conversation becomes limited.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  5. #5
    Member Aka_Donna's Avatar
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    forgetaboutit.

    Engage the person not the label. If someone has an issue with labels, that's their problem. Don't be bullied as it demeans the rest of us.

  6. #6
    Member TAG's Avatar
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    @ SirDonna;

    I agree with this.
    Never found a reason to have a label.
    Last edited by char GG; 03-28-2022 at 08:50 PM. Reason: Not necessary to quote the post directly before yours

  7. #7
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    What ever happened to "Hello. What's your name? Oh, Tammy? Nice to meet you, Tammy." Full stop. Simple.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    It's all crossdressing unless you're transgendered. I know many trans-women and they would never describe themselves as Crossdressers.
    If I'm presenting as a female then I expect to be referred to as one and vice versa

    ✌❤
    Gerri

  9. #9
    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
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    Patience: good ones!

    I suppose that since each of us is unique within this hobby/pastime/lifestyle that we each need a label unique as we are. Names sound like a good way to go.

  10. #10
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    If you don't have a name or term for something, you can't THINK about it or have a conversation where everybody is on the same page. I am a "Cross dresser" as defined as wearing opposite sex clothing while NOT being Gay or Trans. I am an "Escapist" type of CD as I dress to "escape" myself rather than "be myself". Types of Crossdressers might be escapists, fetish, Sado-Masochist (humiliation), autogynephilic, or even personal descriptive terminology might be used, so long as you define it.

  11. #11
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    1. We call a person who only dresses at home a "Closet Dresser" or "Closet Queen". Wrong! 'A thoughtful husband' is just one of several more accurate descriptors, which spring to my mind.
    2. What do we call someone who just under-dresses? When dressed like this, people usually call me by my birth name.
    3. What do we call those who are occasionally / selectively dresses? When I am engaging in this activity, my SO always uses my birth name.
    4. What do we call those who dress 24/7? The suggested answer 'astronaut' is a good one.

    The bottom line is that the OP's premises are all wrong.
    And for this reason, the thread should be terminated.
    There is nothing useful to be gained from it.
    Mods - please do this.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    The only thing about labels is you can be sure some will get it wrong.

    Really the answer to all 4 questions is INDIVIDUALS and hopefully happy ones.

    If meeting someone their name would be the best option.

    This community has had a lot of debate over the years but we never agree because we all have differing opinions.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  13. #13
    Reality Check
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    I would call a guy who wears women's clothes more than once a year at Halloween a "crossdresser".

    As for addressing a person, the best I can do is address them as what they appear to be unless I know better. Unfortunately, the English language has no good alternative to "Sir" or "Ma'am" so I try not to use either for someone who is dressed in a confusing manner.
    Krisi

  14. #14
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    My granddaughter is almost six feet tall and has short blonde hair. An older gentleman at Costo called her a man.

    It seems that society really needs to find a way to not gender label people. Dropping the "sir" and "mam" would be a good start.
    Last edited by char GG; 03-29-2022 at 08:11 AM.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member ShelbyDawn's Avatar
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    Char,

    First step is to stop making the decision to get offended is someone 'misgenders' us, regardless of the circumstance. If we don't let it matter, it won't.
    I am Me and Me is OK!



    Shelby

  16. #16
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    2022 the year to stop using (for me) gender specific nomenclature. I admit that I am societally conditioned to use such terms as: Sir, Mam, Miss, Mr. Mrs. when addressing people. I do this all of the time with friends, people at the gym and the like. I am working diligently on just addressing the person in front of me as just that the person in front of me. In my work the need for clarification of pronoun is simply another topic. I do make sure that I am aware of that not in order to go back to those gender specific terms afterwards but simply to be sure I do not misgender them in the future. This is a very difficult task, but one that is so necessary. As for a term for those who dress 24/7 no other term fits better for me than Fortunate.

  17. #17
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    If you are choosing a label for someone else, you are ignoring what they would prefer. That's not the same as using a label to describe a group. Crossdressers are all crossdressers, but I would respect what any one of them prefers to call his/her self. Which brings us to pronouns. You must respect what someone else chooses to use in reference to their self. If you don't know, ask.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  18. #18
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    Labels belong on a jar of pickles.
    Not on people.

    If you are at a struggle finding the right words. You could always pick something very neutral

    Something like "Hey Friend"
    People are just that people. No labels needed.
    All have potential to be great friends.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  19. #19
    Member StacyG's Avatar
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    old man.jpg Hey, how are you? Nice to meet you.

  20. #20
    Member JennyMay's Avatar
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    In the UK the Beaumont Society warn against referring to ourselves as cross dressers and suggest transgender is the correct term. The reason for this is (i) that transgender refers to all cross gender behaviour, (ii) in the UK being transgender is a characteristic which has legal protection. Apparently how you describe yourself matters in, for example, legal decisions about custody.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    Reading this thread was worth it just to read Patience's response. I believe all those descriptions describe cross dressers and I'm happy to be one. As others have mentioned, there is no need for labels.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  22. #22
    Member nancy58's Avatar
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    If I'm going to have to be labeled, well, I'm a crossdresser for all 4 situations. When I am dressed as a woman, I prefer to be called "Ma'am", even if you suspect there is a penis lurking under my outfit. I'm 63, so "Miss" just isn't going to cut it. As for others, I'm going to try to use female titles for people who appear to be female and male titles for the ones who look male. If I'm uncertain, I'll say "Excuse me" to get attention and not append "ma'am" or "sir" to my "Thank you". And, I suppose, if I am going to be talking to the person a bit, I might be so forward to say, "May I ask what your preferred pronouns are?"
    Nancy
    "If you are lucky enough to find a way of life that you love, you have to find the courage to live it." -- John Irving

  23. #23
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    IMHO There is no reason to use a title like sir, miss, etc. When greeting someone, just say ?hello?. No need to use a title.

  24. #24
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geena75 View Post
    Patience: good ones! [...]
    Quote Originally Posted by Heather76 View Post
    Reading this thread was worth it just to read Patience's response.[...]
    Why, thank you ladies!

    Private to no one in particular: See? I'm not completely useless!
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  25. #25
    Non-Binary Member Krea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by char GG View Post
    It seems that society really needs to find a way to not gender label people. Dropping the "sir" and "mam" would be a good start.
    Yes, this would be wonderful.

    As an enby i dislike the fact that staff still call me "Sir" when speaking to me in shops etc.
    Occasionally people have actually stressed the word, in a sneering tone, to be deliberately rude.
    "The only way is onward. There is no turning back."

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