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Thread: How Does Your Wife/SO Relate to You While You Are a Girl?

  1. #1
    Member Teresa.Smith.VA's Avatar
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    How Does Your Wife/SO Relate to You While You Are a Girl?

    To answer the question, I will go first. I asked my wife many times early in our marriage to tell me just how she honestly relates to me in her own mind when I am Teresa. I had nothing to complain about but wanted to know more about her reaction to Teresa that she might be keeping to herself, to show kindness to me.

    She explained it this way. "I never forget that you are a handsome, hunk of a man that I love dearly, but when you are Teresa, I just tuck your male image to the back of my mind and pretend". She explained that when I am Teresa, she thinks of me as her "girlfriend" and enjoys doing so. She added, "When I was a little girl, I learned how to play pretend with my dolls along with my girlfriends".

    Her reaction to Teresa is highly believable. I really do feel that she is treating Teresa as a woman, which is very exciting and pleasing to me.

    How about you?
    Last edited by Teresa.Smith.VA; 04-01-2022 at 10:28 AM. Reason: Punctuation
    Fact: Some members can never post pictures in their feminine finery to support their stories and experiences. Please be understanding and kind.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    It's simple....she doesn't, period, end of story.
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

    It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    Although my wife is well aware of and accepting of my alter ego,she does not view "Kris" and my male self as two separate persons . No animosity, we both prefer it that way. The few times we did interact while I was en femme was pretty much in the usual way, commenting on my clothes choice or makeup - which she has helped me with greatly -and the like. The only difference was in the clothes I was wearing .

  4. #4
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    Likewise to what Kris says ...................................Debra
    Last edited by char GG; 04-01-2022 at 01:20 PM. Reason: Not necessary to quote the post directly before yours

  5. #5
    Avatar is FaceAp enhanced Mary Loo's Avatar
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    Another Ditto to Kris and Debra.

    My wife can NOT separate the two persons. Originally in our 30+ year relationship She only saw me in HER clothes which added a layer of awkwardness and it was extremely infrequent at that. Until only recently do I have a few of MY clothes (which she DID graciously help me shop for online and pick out and select sizing from helping take measurements.

    When I got my clothes I got her feedback as to which to keep and which to send back and about the my first and only pair of heels she likewise helped me order. We kept it very analytical and I greatly appreciated her feedback and assistance. However, that was an image she can’t forget and can’t compartmentalize and made her quite uncomfortable. She has since gone to more of a DADT agreement and does NOT want to see me dressed again.

    She was aware that I went to a wig shop (against her preference) and bought a wig, but she does NOT want to see me in it. Even last weekend when she knew I was upstairs “unwinding from the week” , when I was ready to go back to drab I yelled did she have any curiosity or desire to see me in the wig? The response was a fairly emphatic NO.

    Point being she is accepting and understanding, but she is a LONG LONG way from your situation! Granted even though she was aware of my cross dressing activities from very early in our relationship, it technically has only been about 2+ months since I really have started to escalate my emulation/presentation. Let’s just say reading your posts makes me extremely jealous of your situation and the fun you had on your trip.

  6. #6
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    I?m also in Kris?s corner. I?m not and don?t want to be a girl. I just enjoy dressing like one. My supportive wife has been so much help, especially with makeup, but, to her, I?m the same person. While I love to dress completely, I find there are days when I only wear two or three things.

  7. #7
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    The clothes make no difference to who I am and the way my SO interacts with me.
    They're just clothes.
    We are the same people.

  8. #8
    Junior Member Marsha Louise's Avatar
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    Robin: you took the words right out of my mouth!
    While my SO is fairly tolerant of my dressing in my usual hybrid mode, even going so far as to say she thinks I look "cute", I know she has no interest in relating to me as another woman. She has her limits, and whenever I sense her discomfort about how I'm dressed, I take things down a notch or two.
    Fashion liberated and loving it!

  9. #9
    Platinum Member
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    Eh, she did not relate well to me at all, although she tried. It became too much for her. We have not spoken in six years.

  10. #10
    Member Valerie Louise's Avatar
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    Ditto for me from Marsha Louise's answer. I will say that she takes the time to critically judge things I buy and wear, sort of like a mother would a daughter. I guess that's still a good place. And Teresa ... yes, I am jealous of your situation. My catty side hopes your bra strap slides off all the time.
    Just call me Val

  11. #11
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    My wife is very accepting of my dressing, but no mater what I wear I am the same person. I don't have a female persona, and don't feel the need for one.

  12. #12
    Silver Member
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    Teresa, I think your wife's way of compartmentalizing your two sides is perfect. It's just the way I would like my wife to relate to me

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Michelle Crossfire's Avatar
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    My wife is pretty supportive, even shops with me, and for me sometimes. I try to convince her that when i am dressed, i am still me, but she does not process that always. She likes to be affectionate, but cannot get affectionate with Michelle.
    [B][I]Call me Michelle:

  14. #14
    Member Wendy-Lyn's Avatar
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    I do not have a wife or SO, but I do have a long-time GG friend who has known about my dressing for years. When she comes to visit, it doesn't bother her in the least if I'm dressed or semi-dressed - we sit and chat, watch Netflix, she works on her tapestries, and anyone would mistake us for an old married couple who are very comfortable with each-other's company. We often chat about clothes and makeup.
    I probably should have married her decades ago (I did try for a relationship, unsuccessfully - almost 40 years ago), but she ended up marrying a loser and our lives went separate ways for a long time, although we remained close friends. She is one of only two GGs who know I dress, apart from my SIL.

  15. #15
    Member Brianne_bc's Avatar
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    Supportive, wants to see me model new things for her. helps me get dressed especially in the morning when im putting on my stockings and garters.

    No Heel is Too High.... When it's Pointed at the Ceiling

  16. #16
    Member Gi Gondin's Avatar
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    I believe this ?separation? of personas is more related to how someone processes information in general than his/her opinion regarding crossdressing or the feelings towards us.

    In my relationship my girlfriend is 110% supportive, but she treats Gisele and my male persona as two separate persons that don?t know each other. Up to the point that she always mention that she never had any quarrel with Gi and she only have good memories of her.

    This behavior resembles a lot the way she thinks about everything in her life - categorizing, dividing, theorizing about everything, from facts to behaviors, from shoes to movies. Not much room for changing plans, valuing a lot agreements and having a hard time improvising. Its just the way she sees things.

    In my case, that?s not how I see the world. When eating a chicken nugget I never forget that this piece of meat was a living animal some weeks ago, and that doesn?t bother me at all. When fully dressed I don?t feel like another person, its only me, in heels and makeup having a great time.

    This makes sense for anyone?

  17. #17
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    While my wife is accepting and encouraging, she calls me by my given name and uses male pronouns. I don't make a fuss, I'm glad she is accepting as she is and I know others are far worse of than me relationship wise.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    The simple answer is "she doesn't."
    She made it abundantly clear from the start that she does NOT want to see me all "girl'ed up" and other than finding a couple pictures of me, she hasn't.
    I just don't dress if there is any danger of her seeing me, and since we're together pretty much 24/7 these days, my full-on Sara time is gone.

    BUT - I do wear panties (always) and nighties (when appropriate) and she is OK with seeing me this way. But - she just doesn't see me as anything but her husband in feminine garb and has commented numerous times that she kinda forgets what I'm wearing, since it's just my "comfy clothes."

    Lately, she HAS started jokingly calling me "Becky Home-Eccy" because I've taken over a lot of the housework. Funny though - she never seems to use that name when I'm in anything with a skirt (my nighties), only when I'm in my male jeans. Go figure.

  19. #19
    Long Isnad, NY BLACK STOCKINGS's Avatar
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    My wife loves when I get dressed up. She likes to check out my outfits. Always complements me. I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I dress almost every night and when I do not she asks if I am getting dressed. She is a keeper
    Just a girl fronm Long Island, NY .... always looking to meet others from my area.

  20. #20
    not new anymore just shy VickieBonne's Avatar
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    She relates to me as me. Although, sometimes she says I'm part girl, I'm always her husband. She doesn't doubt my sexuality, I don't think she ever did. She has no doubt that the protective loving husband will appear in an instant no matter my style of dress. I'm a lucky one. If I could only get back to my dress size in my 20s... Perfection.

  21. #21
    Silver Member prene's Avatar
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    Never had a SO who was accepting.

    I have gone out with 2 gg's and they treat me just like anyother girl.
    I like that a lot , wish they saw something in me as a SO but no.

    I envy you that have accepting wife or SO

  22. #22
    Long Isnad, NY BLACK STOCKINGS's Avatar
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    Vickie - yes age has taken it's toll - the dam belly gets in the way - the rest is still great. Nothing a good corset can not cure.


    Quote Originally Posted by VickieBonne View Post
    She relates to me as me. Although, sometimes she says I'm part girl, I'm always her husband. She doesn't doubt my sexuality, I don't think she ever did. She has no doubt that the protective loving husband will appear in an instant no matter my style of dress. I'm a lucky one. If I could only get back to my dress size in my 20s... Perfection.
    Just a girl fronm Long Island, NY .... always looking to meet others from my area.

  23. #23
    Member 1Ladyjade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michelle Crossfire View Post
    My wife is pretty supportive, even shops with me, and for me sometimes. I try to convince her that when i am dressed, i am still me, but she does not process that always. She likes to be affectionate, but cannot get affectionate with Michelle.
    This is how my lovely wife treats me/Jade. She can only see me as her manly man. So she does not want to see Jade. But she supports me in buying clothes for Jade either for or with me when I do. Yesterday we went to a flea market. There was a vendor selling vintage ladies clothes. She saw me eyeing the stuff and she dragged me away. But driving home we stopped at the DAV thrift store and let me loose there.

  24. #24
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    The only time things change is when we are out in public.
    That's the only time she calls me Cheryl and her attitude is different as she treats me like a girl friend. Actually I had to learn to treat her differently. When we first began going out together I'd still be the first to the door and hold it for her and she'd remind me girls don't do that for each other. It's things like that that changed.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member
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    I have no feminine side so she relates to me basically the same. Maybe a little more playful bc i probably look silly in some of my outfits

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