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Thread: Do you have a GG friend who understands and supports you?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Jenn A116's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    lower right part of US

    Do you have a GG friend who understands and supports you?

    I'm fortunate to have married a woman who accepts my whole being. While she's not a fan of the days that I dress she understands that its part of me. I told her about the femme side of me while we were still dating. Her comment was that she always thought I had a softer side and that was part of the reason she loved me. We've now been married for 25 years. When we go shopping, my wife will sometimes ask if there is something that Jennifer likes and she asks my opinion on various items she is considering.

    More recently (as in a couple of months ago) I came out to a really close GG friend whom I've always thought had a great sense of style. We (she and her husband are both really good friends with my wife and I) have developed a close relationship over the course of 8+ years. They are significantly younger than we are - to the point that we could almost be their grandparents.

    When I came out to her she was surprised but very accepting. She has recommended various makeup products (my wife does very little with makeup) and said she would be happy to show me how to use them. We have talked about going shopping for Jenn together. She's seen pictures of Jenn and suggested outfits after i send pictures of Jenn's closet. Jenn is looking for a new wig and she said she would enjoy coming with me for that.

    So, I'm fortunate I've got two women in my life that accept and support the femme side of me. I hope others here have found the same.
    Jenn A --- nothing fancy, just me.

  2. #2
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Metro East area near St. Louis, Missouri
    Yes, and I've written about them here and at Kandi's blog. Renee I knew from a previous lifetime, while others like Michelle and Karla, both of whom I've been out with the last week, I met because of my Dee activities. They give me acceptance and approval.
    I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:

    Author Sagelllini (with three lower case "Ls") at

  3. #3
    Member Mermaiden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    No, my wife knows and is on board, but haven?t otherwise shared my CD. Not sure where things would end up if I let more people know.

  4. #4
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    My wife (53 years of marriage), my daughter, and 2 of 3 sisters-in-law are supportive to a reasonable degree but they also like the effect that female-like side often has on the male-like side which still sometimes is the dominant side. In other words, they appreciate most of the blends. I am sure others see that but they don't know the details behind it and I really don't know exactly what they think.

    But when I first came out 10 years ago it certainly was not that way because I became completely unpredictable. My gender implementation was so randomized and variable even I had no idea what would pop out next. Took a couple of years to find a really comfortable zone and create a nice blend of female-like and male-like behaviors and characteristics that was reliable and tolerable. That then became acceptable. It was a long and bumpy road - nobody shifts much of who they are from a character that deep in denial with the subsequent depression to a person who has little more than traces of that former identity remaining. That identity still pops out on rare occasions and when it does it is embarrassing and I have to take quick and strong counter actions. The new me does not tolerate the old me. And the new me is what the GG's in my life like and even encourage to some extent. Go further? That is a big maybe and that is fine with me because I like who I am now.

    Some of the males in my life have come to accept that or at least tolerate that, but it is still hard for most to get their head around those sensitive behavior patterns. The fact is I am not one of them, but I am not a woman either. I am me.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Jenn, somewhat similar to you I have a very, very close friend who is an ex-fiance of mine from >30 years ago (wow...has it been that long?). She and I are close enough that a lot of people would say I'm emotionally cheating on my wife. I'm not; my wife knew about her from early on, and has always accepted her presence in our lives. My wife knows everything and I'm 100% honest with her. My wife and this friend sometimes jokingly refer to each other as sister wives. Anyway...

    Years ago when I was dating this woman, I wore pantyhose for her at her request. To this day, she doesn't know why she asked me to do that. When I went over to her place undressed thus, I was trembling like a leaf. I'd never told ANYone about my crossdressing, and I was terrified that my girlfriend was going to lose it, even though she requested to see me in pantyhose. She saw how nervous I was, and I blew it off saying "I was worried you'd think I was gay". I never told her then that I was a crossdresser.

    Fast forward to ~5 years ago, and I finally told her. She's only the second person (after my wife) who knows everything about me. I couldn't be the friend I claim to be to her without telling her. So, I told her. She was quite taken aback by it, and had difficulty wrapping her brain around it. Nowadays, she's accepting of it as being part of me. She's never seen me dressed in any respect, and has never helped me with anything crossdressing. But, she is accepting.

  6. #6
    Stephanie Lake StephanieLake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    Southern and Central CA (I have 2 homes)
    Besides my wife, my best friend, who is a GG knows. She actually knows more and is more accepting than my wife. If she still lived close by, I would probably wear dresses when we have our monthly drink night, I have during our FaceTime drink nights, and she's said we will definitely go shopping enfem the next time I visit.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    Nov 2021
    Merseyside UK
    The only GG that was accepting and helped me was my late mother. I came out to her after my wife who is non accepting made me purge everything. I had a wardrobe in my mothers full of dresses etc.She used to buy tights for me and launder my fem items. We were going to go shopping for pantygirdles but sadly didn?t as she passed away. Had a very enjoyable 9 years . Dressing every weekend. No one else unfortunately. Wish I did have that GG I could trust and dress with but. things change.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Christie ann's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    out and about
    I have one friend that I have confided in. She used to live about 4 hours away and I would, very occasionally, visit as Christie and we would just visit, go out to lunch, take a walk and talk and talk and talk. She will listen when I just need to talk. I have learned, from her, that not all conversations have to be about gender. We can just be two girls having a nice afternoon.
    Then the pandemic hit and it has been hard to get together. I miss the girl times.

  9. #9
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Nation's Capital
    There's a small consignment shop near me that I visit a lot. When I first went there about 5 years ago, I talked to the owner and asked her if I could shop there and be treated like any other GG. She said, "Of course you can." Once I even asked her if I was disturbing her regular GG customers by shopping there in boy mode and trying clothes on. She rhetorically said, "Do you really think that I would want those women as customers?"

    She has seen me in both boy and girl modes. She helps me shop (there) and helps me select clothes for style, fit and color. There are 3 other women who work there and they all accept me, but one of the 3 also helps me out a lot.

    I also have a GG friend who I met at one of the DC group meetups who I still keep in touch with. She teaches at a local University and is some sort of trans support resource there.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  10. #10
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    You're very lucky, I'm so delighted for you to have not one but two people who not only understand, but take part in your CDing. Personally, I'm still very much in the closet. Except for the girls on here, no one knows about Philippa. It would be a dream come true to be able to talk to and receive advice from someone close and even go shopping with. Maybe one day....

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Good GG friends can be worth their weight in gold.

    I have a few. They have seen the other me but that was over 10 years ago. Now they just expect Shelly to show up.

    I now support them when they need me. Its what good friends do

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    I've mentioned my personal story ad nauseam, so I'll try not to repeat myself.

    Suffice it to say that I've had the good fortune of having had a lady in my past who really helped me enjoy this bizarre journey. When I admitted to her that I was curious to explore more than just a pair of pantyhose, she took it to the next level. She said that she was on a mission to help me shop for 'a certain look and to go with my body'.

    We discussed what was appropriate for day wear as well as what would be elegant evening wear. She was even the one who suggested nylons and rice for boobs! She also gave me one of her handbags and talked about the importance of accessories.

    I really don't dress very often, but she certainly helped me take it to the next level.

  13. #13
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Bangor Maine
    I do have several GG friends that know all about me,
    I would not really say supportive, But knowledgeable and not rejecting.
    If they happened to see me, all would still be ok. But not really pushing the fact either

    There is a couple of friends, Who is very accepting, but have not met in person yet.
    they is very understanding, accepting and supportive, and when we do meet in person.
    I will be happy to let Raychel introduce herself and enjoy the visit.

    Next time I am in the middle of the country
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  14. #14
    Happy Halloween! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.

    Exclamation Your going to think I'm making this up!

    I have a gorgeous GG friend who is 30 years younger than me but she treats me, and thinks of me as young female, no matter how I'm dressed!

    She met me as Sherry and calls me that in front of everyone no matter where we r or if I'm in male mode.

    We r not sexually involved but get together often to, now get this:

    Dress up and shoot photos. She's a talented and experienced photog and has made her own music videos with casts of up to 20 people.

    She is stunning with a cartoon female figure. Big, tite boobs and everything else. With the tiniest waist.

    When we hang out at her place or mine, she's often topless or naked in front of me, which is often lately. While changing or just walking around. Because she thinks of me as a girlfriend! Altho, the way she confides in me, it's like I'm her best friend!

    I'm NOT making this up. There's so much more. But, I better stop here before someone accuses me of fibbing!

    P1630547 (2) (1280x1269).jpg
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 04-08-2022 at 11:48 AM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  15. #15
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Yes I do. Years ago, when I met her, she was a sales lady at my favorite dress shop. Although she had no previous experience selecting dresses for men, she very quickly got me and her sense of style is second to none. She has since become a dear friend and she calls me her sister. From time to time, we do Friday afternoon lunches together.

  16. #16
    Member Teresa.Smith.VA's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2021
    My closest GG friend of my entire life, who truly understands, fully supports, and participates in my CD'ing is also my dear wife. I count my blessings daily for this amazing women who accepts me, all of me, as I am.
    Fact: Some members can never post pictures in their feminine finery to support their stories and experiences. Please be understanding and kind.

  17. #17
    Heisthebride Heisthebride's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010

    I am so happy I told my wife before we were dating that I was a crossdresser. She was unsure at first but has grown to be very accepting. I often wear my female wardrobe around the house when working from home. About ten years ago she gifted me burlesque dance lessons and I have made a number of friends that are all knowing and accepting. We perform and go out out together to this day. Just a couple of my pictures attached with my burlesque friends.
    Rebecca Bas

  18. #18
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Southern Illinois
    With great trepidation, I told my to-be wife before we walked the aisle. It was the best thing I ever did. Neither of us understands the ?why?, but she understands my need to dress. She?s totally supportive and helpful, especially with makeup.I?m very blessed.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    I have a good friend who is very supportive. I don't think she understands but I don't understand completely either. We have been out several time from shopping to lunch.

  20. #20
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Going to seed!
    Yes, I have a number of very supportive GG friends. It makes this whole thing much more tolerable and when we have the chance together, even fun!

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member krissy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    austin texas
    Hi I don't have girl friends that are alive my wife has two girls that knew about me one of them did my make up and gave me a lot of sexy panties and garters but my wife saw Me fully dressed she told me next day sneak neagain that was 40 years ago I'm still with her and Love her ver wanted to see mwith all my heart but this is part of me and sometimes it hurts not to be able to share what's so important to me. And we know this crazy girl who we helped raise her kido.she knows about me never seen me dressed but she has never seen me dressed but she tells me I bet your pretty .but she also says that she can't be friends with me because she is friends with my wife.i told her it was cool my wife needs girlfriend to hang and talk with so I respect that.i used to talk to an uncle but he dressed and was gay I'm not gay I love women any way he died .I just can't share my feelings with anybody that's why I'm spppp glad I'm here I feel love for who I am what ever that you all

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    My sister was supportive when I just wanted to wear tights & heels, but when I desired to wear lipstick, wear a bra and develop boobs, she lost interest.

  23. #23
    New Member Femi9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Yes, my wife knew from the start about me. We've been together over 30 years now. I'd say she supports me 100% but will never understand fully as we sometimes still have the occasional discussions... "Is that all you think about... It's taking over your life... Do you want to be a woman 24/7?".
    She will help me buy clothes, makeup and do my hair etc, then when she sees me all dressed up, sometimes she can be a bit frosty and I know she has a hard time accepting me like that.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Jun 2017
    Central Fla.
    I used to, but a couple of them have since died and I've lost touch with the rest of them. My wife cut that off a long time ago. She doesn't want me discussing any of this with anyone but her (and she doesn't really want to talk about it either.) I'm breaking that rule by being here, but hey - I need SOMEone to talk to from time to time or I'll melt down.

  25. #25
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Washington, DC
    My wife is very accepting of my alter ego and goes out with me when I dress. Does she understand, no. But then again I'm not sure I understand why I do it either. It's a compulsion I have had all my life.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

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