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Thread: A question the crosses my mind quite often.

  1. #1
    Member Cynthia_0101's Avatar
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    A question the crosses my mind quite often.

    This is a question that has passed through my mind quite a few times. In my line of work I have entered many, MANY houses over the last 13 years, and according to an article I once read, up to 5% of adult men are Crossdressers. So in the years, I have been doing this taking only 2% into account I may have come across 80 or more other Crossdressers and never even knew it.

    I know some people are in DADT situations or still in the closet, but to those of you that are out to your spouse, do you have a tendency to leave any overtly CD items out where they can be seen or keep them hidden away at all times.

    For reference, My clothes are put away in the closet, but my makeup and wig are all out on display in our bedroom.

    Thanks
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  2. #2
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    More than 20 years ago, I had a small three room apartment. I would leave femme things out in my bedroom. I was the only one who lived there, so who cares? My lease agreement stipulated that if there were non-emergency things that required someone to enter the apartment, I would be given 24 hour notice. Well, they didn't do that. They came into my apartment without notice while I wasn't there. The only reason I knew about it was because one of the people left behind a flashlight. I confronted my landlord about it and he was deeply apologetic.

    I didn't really consider the impact of having femme clothes out while these people were in my apartment. They probably attributed it to a girlfriend.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Geena75's Avatar
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    Well, if my home were an example, my things are stashed in a trunk and box in the basement. A visitor would have to be way too inquisitive to spot any of my stuff.

  4. #4
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
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    I'm likely ADHD, so, characteristically, not a great housekeeper. If someone was to come into my house that I wasn't prepared for they would probably figure out pretty quickly that something a bit out of the ordinary was going on.


    In the fall I had to have a carpenter come in to look at my attic and my bedroom due to a roofing Issue. I was prepared, I thought, but when when we exited the attic, the first thing he saw was my copy of Jacob Tobia's book "SISSY" that I had left lying on a shelf in the hallway. I watched his eyes stay on it as he went by.
    We then went in to the bedroom to look at the ceiling . I noticed his eyes glancing about at my mini quilts on the walls, my lacy embroidered lampshades and my occasional pillows. He knew I lived alone. It was a good thing I had thought to close the closet door or he would have seen my closet full of female clothes.

    For while I was saying to myself "I should have been more careful", but then I thought, "why?" It's my house, I can do what I want.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    I keep some of my bralettes and panties in one of the nightstands by our bed. I keep my dresses, nighties, bras, and stockings on hangers in the spare bedroom closet. I keep more panties and my forms in a vanity drawer in the spare bedroom. We never have folks that just drop by unannounced as the guard at the gate would call us to ask if it's okay to let the person in. If someone showed up, I would empty the vanity drawer and put everything in the nightstand drawer. That would take a minute while driving from the gate to our house would take about 5 minutes. If we were having overnight guests, I'd also empty the spare bedroom closet (just pick up the 12 or so hangers) and take them to our master closet. I also have 2 gym style bags with makeup, my wig, and other personal items I'd take to our closet. I can move everything in under 5 minutes.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
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    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  6. #6
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    In the late 1990's when I did much of my research (trying to provide my then wife with as much information about crossdressing as possible), the general sources that I had found all gave from 2 to 2.5% of men routinely crossdressing, with only one at that time at 5%. Which interestingly correlated with the general belief at that time, of 5% of men being homosexual. Nowhere were stats of how many men had ever tried wearing girl clothes, perhaps because so many straight men would simply deny it, having grown up being told that to be feminine in any way, was the worst possible thing that they could be.

    I've always tried my best to put my girl clothes away and out of sight whenever I'm not wearing them. The very few times when I did not, were when I had to use public laundramats, which ones I chose were about 20 miles away from where I lived.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  7. #7
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    Since I am in a DADT relationship I try to keep my feminine clothes mostly out of sight. We have a large walk in closet. By default we have a his and her side to the closet with a laundry basket on each side. The one on "her" side is filled with her laundry and anything of mine that she will wash, ie dress clothes, t-shirts, etc. The one on my side has my work clothes and my panties and nighties, etc. There is always a nightie hanging on my side of the closet that I am wearing on any given night. The only people other than the two of us that go into our closet would be our grandkids. When they are visiting I am very careful to put everything out of sight. I doubt if they are old enough to draw any conclusions from what they see but it's not a chance that I am willing to take.

  8. #8
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    My wife is tolerant of my dressing but she is far from comfortable with it, so I don't dress in front of her and never leave any item lying or trace sticking around after a session. The clothes makeup forms etc. are unpacked and packed again each time and stored in the basement in a suitcase with a nuclear hazard sign on it.

  9. #9
    Just being true to myself Jolene Robertson's Avatar
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    Hi Cynthia, Good question!
    If you came in my house and into our closet there would be no doubt that a crossdresser lived there. I have wigs and everything there in full sight, plus the bathroom counter has makeup on both sides (mine and hers) we wear different kinds and don't share for good reason.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    I'm out with my wife, and she is accepting and even participatory up to a point. This is wonderful of course, no sneaking around, and with it comes much comfort. I do not dress around her - we both agree to that - but my accoutrements are often out, on display for anyone to see. A wig on a stand, a dress hanging in the doorway, large high heeled shoes left by a bed, computer logged in to CD.com are are common stuff around our house. If someone is coming over we have a code "Did you hide the rum?" - a line from "Pirates of the Caribbean" which to us means check around the house and be sure nothing is left out. So far, it works - if it doesn't I'll probably post about it!

  11. #11
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Other than things like breast forms or (perhaps) wigs, I'm not sure what would be considered overtly CD items.
    If someone started snooping through our closets, it would just look like my wife's things have overflowed her closet space and spilled into mine.
    At worst, someone might notice the different size/stile panties in my drawer and my wife's, but since I keep mine in the "guest" room, they'd probably just assume they're for a second female.
    The biggest giveaway would probably have to be the almost total lack of "boy" undies anywhere in the house.
    But - since we don't have snoopy people digging through out closets, I don't see any danger.

  12. #12
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    They would find a few things that would be a bit uncertain as to who wears them or what is going on. But if they stopped and examined things closely they could probably become suspicious but not draw any firm conclusions. If they are doing all that they are probably snooping into things that are not their business anyway. I don't care if they do that or not - just don't steal anything. I may not tell everybody about Gretchen, but I don't keep it a secret either - except to a few that would make a huge fuss over it.

    As for what percentage of people (males and females) crossdress, I seriously doubt anybody has a good handle on that. And remember there are women who crossdress just like men, but women, it is thought, are much more secretive even though possibly just as common as male crossdressers. Again, nobody really knows.

    The fact is, simple crossdressing has never been studied to great depth like transgenderism. The difficulty though is finding a clear boundary between the two where studies do not end up blending two populations of people that are perhaps fairly distinct in terms of motivations. How does one clearly tell them apart?

  13. #13
    Member Mary Loo's Avatar
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    Much like Victoria, our smallish walk-in closet has “her” clothes on the left side and most of the middle and “his” stuff on the right. Since Mary Loo has a very small wardrobe, they simply exist in the back corner of “her” side. Other items are in a few drawers of cardboard and plastic dresser drawers on the shelf.

    Thus, no, it would not be obvious to anyone. We DO have to have contractors traipse through the closet on occasion because the attic access to th HVAC for upstairs is through a hole in the closet ceiling. I always put everything away anyway, because my wife doesn’t want to see me dressed, though she is aware. The majority of the time I get a chance to dress is when no one is in the house, but sometimes when my son is gone for a bit, I will ask her if she is okay if I take some “alone time.” So far the answer has always been yes.

  14. #14
    Member ziggie's Avatar
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    As my style (and my wife's) is quite androgynous, I doubt that anyone would take much notice of things sitting out. An adult daughter who was in town for a visit once saw several of my panties in a load of laundry and commented that "mom's underwear is a lot nicer than mine." I think that would be the general attitude.

    I'm more concerned that someone might turn me in for the multitude of grow lights I have in the basement - and they are there for perfectly legal plants.
    So many new things to learn

  15. #15
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Everything used to be hidden from view.
    When I came out to my wife and she became accepting I moved all my things to the closet. Now we have a walkin closet and she loves showing everyone. they all comment on how many shoes she has and how many wigs. Seems they never relate the fact they've never seen her wearing any of them. Oh well, as they say, hidden in plain sight.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  16. #16
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
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    My cloths are hung in the wardrobe, My make up is in my make up bag. Exactly what my wife does with hers. Nothing deliberately hidden, but at the same time nothing for any tradesman visiting to see.

  17. #17
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    What you're asking is a little confusing to me My wife and I are in a deep DADT marriage; not a word for several decades. As part of the deal I do not leave anything laying around for anyone, including her, to see. I also do not make any body modifications that could be construed as a perpetual reminder. Fortunately, I do not have any hair folicles on my calves and thighs and under arms. So, I do not go from hairy ape to smooth skinned guy overnight. She knows where a lot of the stuff is stored; armoire and night stand. Does she know of the twenty plus Xerox boxes in the storage area? Probably not. If someone, family or friends, were to snoop through the house, some of my stash would be found. My kids are in their forties, so it is possible they did all their snooping around a long time ago. If anyone else decided to snoop around, I'd kick their ass out of the house, permanently.

  18. #18
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    I am a bit sloppy and clothing gets left out, but not in areas of the house that visitors would easily see. We have had people pop in and depending if it was my friend or my wife's the other of us would just disappear for a minute and do a quick run through the house and close a door or two.

    Right now my breast plate is laying in the table in the family room and our spare bedroom looks like a small tornado went through. The breast plate would get tossed into the spare room and the door closed and locked. Also I have a few pairs of high heels laying around in my office, but that door will get closed and locked.All this can be easily done without raising to much suspicion.

    Someone did ask why we were closing doors and my wife just said the room was a mess, sorting laundry and naughty bits were laying out. End of conversation.

  19. #19
    Reality Check
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    Keep in mind that any fool can write an article so your suggestion that 5% of men are crossdressers has no basis in fact. For that matter, define "crossdresser". Obviously, since I get up nearly every morning and put on a bra and forms, a wig and padded panties, I would qualify as one, but what about a guy who dresses as a woman on Halloween but no other time? Or a guy who wears women's jeans because he likes the fit but no other woman's clothes? Or a guy who sometimes wears panties but no other women's clothes?

    To answer your question, my clothes are hanging in the closet alongside my male clothes and some of my wife's clothes. My boobs, wig and padded panties are stored in the closet. My shoes are under the bed or in the closet. Most of my "stuff" is indistinguishable from my wife's stuff. If we are having houseguests, I do hide the wig, boobs, padded panties, etc.
    Last edited by char GG; 04-12-2022 at 11:16 AM. Reason: Post was duplicated within the post

  20. #20
    Member Marissa Q's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kris Burton View Post
    If someone is coming over we have a code "Did you hide the rum?" - a line from "Pirates of the Caribbean" which to us means check around the house and be sure nothing is left out.
    I'm sorry, but that is the cutest thing ever! Love it!

    Quote Originally Posted by ziggie View Post
    I'm more concerned that someone might turn me in for the multitude of grow lights I have in the basement - and they are there for perfectly legal plants.
    Shoutout to a fellow cultivator!

  21. #21
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    In trying to be better and not lie/hide, I have everything hung up. It took a bit but my femme clothes go in the normal wash

  22. #22
    Member OrdinaryAverageGuy's Avatar
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    It wouldn't take much for someone to find some strong evidence that I might be a crossdresser. Right now there's a mini skirt hanging from a door knob. That's a clue.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member Philipa Jane's Avatar
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    Ha ha. I loved this thread.
    I am a bit OCD and I have surprised myself when it comes to certain aspects of CD ing.
    My bathroom counter top is covered with all the makeup and brushes that I use. There is plenty of drawer space but I seem to be lazy in this area.
    The dresser in the bedroom is covered with all manner of earrings,necklaces and watches.
    Consequently when I have friends over the bedroom door always remains closed.


    Philipa Jane

  24. #24
    Member AmyJordan's Avatar
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    Hi as I am dressed 24/7 it is me that has to be careful when callers arrive unannounced as for my clothes etc I have a large walk-in closet which is dedicated for Amy wear only in a room that can be locked, this room however does have the walls covered in photographs of me as Amy as my wife loves to have me doing photo sessions in a huge amount of different items and the best she frames and hangs on the wall, these have been seen by certain tradespeople if they have had to enter that room simply because it would be to much hassle removing them but as they are very convincing we do not worry that they think they are anything but pictures of my wife with various outfits and hairdos

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