Are closet Cross Dressers Less Sociable. Nature or Nurture?

[GretchenM]

I have always been pretty much a loner in many ways. I can be sociable for awhile, but then I get bored with all the small talk and I tend to get curious about something else. A bit of ADD? Maybe. And some autistic people do engage in gender shifting, but it is very unlikely the cause of their gender shifting. It is more likely a consequence rather than a cause. But they are still like everybody else - variable.

Nevertheless, simple cross dressing and the more pronounced form that includes well defined transgender behavior may cause a person to be less sociable to avoid the discrimination and prejudice. If the dressing/gender shift is or becomes an important need then it may cause a person to isolate themselves more so they can more freely be themselves without the concern of being found out or suffering various degrees of abuse as a result of practicing their need. However, it seems that just being less gregarious and social (a degree of shyness) might need to precede the isolation when engaged in gender expression shifting for whatever reason.

It appears to me clear signs of gender expression is much more acceptable now than it was back in the 1950's and early 60's when it could get you in deep trouble. Thus the younger people who did not experience those times are much more willing to go out and be social in a so-called gender reversed way. Of course, in most it is not really gender reversal except in comparison to the masses; it is actually just being themselves.

Jane, I think the description of yourself is not a great deal different than the way I would describe significant parts of my history. And I think each person's history, which only they know with great intimacy, forms the quilt of their life. It is all connected; there really are not any pieces floating by themselves in orbit around the main pattern. But if you look at even the finest quilt closely you will find many errors that are not readily visible and yet they form the individuality in the beauty of the quilt.

[Michaela Jane]

I have never been one to go socializing very much, even as a kiddie. I was always "at the back" of gatherings and stuff. I also joined the RN at 19, in the mid '60s & although I enjoyed my time serving, I was never much of a messdeck raver, preferring my own company. Dressing wasn't a thing for me until my mid 50s and now, 20 years later, I still enjoy my own company when wearing skirts or dresses. I hardly ever wear mens clothes these days, almost everything I wear comes from the female side of the stores even when I have to be in man mode out in the day to day world. If I have to socialize, it is usually with family and always in female clothes that make me, as the man people expect to see, look "right" for the situation.

[AmeeJo]

I am very sociable and outgoing except when it comes to my dressing. It is something I do just for me and I'm not quite ready to introduce AmeeJo to the real world. I am getting better at expressing myself and have taken some pretty big steps in the virtual world and some more subtle steps in my physical appearance. I love the thrill of underdressing! Maybe one day I'll go all in and venture out fully en femme. I'm very happy where I am right now and that is all that matters.

[AngelaYVR]

I would think most people who choose to remain in the closet are more likely to do so because they either have their needs met there or because some outside influence (wife, family, etc) prevents them from going further. If you are free of external restraints and wish to venture out but do not then I would chalk that up to fear that has yet to be surmounted.

I am not an especially sociable person but I go out regularly and am not forced into interaction when I do not want it but it is there when I do. Reading a book on a bench by the sea while wearing a summer dress is a magical way to spend those days you need a little quiet time but also wish to go out. Insert your preferred activity and it is off to the races!

[krissy]

For me it's like I become Krissy and she is more adventurous than I am

[Karren H]

I am super sociable in my normal life. But when dressing and going out enfemme, I am a loner. And I like it that way. I feel that this is a personal hobby, mine and mine alone. I am in full control of what I wear and how I look. My sociability has really not changed, even going from being in the closet and staying home to going out dressed. Still kind of in a closet, just a larger one with a view and outside access! Lol.

[SaraLin]

FWIW - I've always been socially awkward. I do OK in small groups of people I know well, but put me in a large group or among strangers and I tend to hide in the background.
This is true no matter whether I'm in male or female mode, but when I'm dressed and among strangers, the need to hide in greatly intensified,

I've also learned that I have a VERY difficult time looking anyone in the eye. I can't explain it well, but it almost feels like I'm being stripped naked if I do. (shudder)
So - to respond to CharlottCD's comments - I've heard that inability to look someone in the eye is also a trait of autism but I've never really been tested for it, so I guess I'll never know.
I did take one of those online tests and it said I was "borderline" - but I can't give these tests any real credibility.
It doesn't matter anyway. I am who (or what) I am, and it's a bit late in the game to worry about trying to change it.

[sometimes_miss]

FWIW, for those who wonder if perhaps they are 'on the spectrum' of autism, well, you all are. The mental health professions have expanded the definitions of autism so far, that virtually everyone can now be diagnosed with it. Check out the DSM5 and you will see what I mean. All you need is a friendly therapist and BINGO! You're now diagnosed as autistic.
I first noticed this expansion back with the DSM4, but now they've taken it even further. One theory, is that this has become acceptable in order to be able to diagnose any patient with this, in order to get them classified, and in that way insurance will cover the treatment for whatever they need.
Of course, the down side is, now that everyone in the world thinks that they are autistic, and those who truly are, aren't always getting the help that they need, because many don't believe that being autistic can be a crippling problem, since so many normal appearing people claim to have it.

[LilSissyStevie]

I'm probably a pretty good example of a "lone wolf" (schiziod) type personality. That's different than high functioning autism but often confused with it. I rarely socialize outside of my immediate family. I find being around even small groups of people exhausting and being in large crowds nearly intolerable. I can't understand why anyone would want to "go out" if no one is forcing you.

The mental health professions have expanded the definitions of autism so far, that virtually everyone can now be diagnosed with it.

One of my daughters is child psychologist who works in the school system. They are under pressure to hand out autism diagnoses in order to get kids resources who would otherwise fall through the cracks. So a kid who is maybe a little slow or has some slight emotional/behavioral issues or unclassifiable learning disabilities can get help they would otherwise not qualify for because their problems are not considered serious enough or trendy like autism. ASD it a catch all category but the system encourages it.