The Wondrous Diversity of Crossdressing

[MysteryWoman]

Stimulated by more than ten years of perusing this amazing forum, I've come to the conclusion that there are few human activities that come in so many different forms and varieties as crossdressing. I'm convinced that not only does each member of this community have a completely unique DNA, but that we also each have a unique "CDNA". Consider the following:

Some of us routinely pass and dress freely in the outside world; others only go en femme to "safe " places; still others underdress and fear (or hope) that someone will get "a glimpse of stocking" under their drab wear; others never venture out of the bedroom in any female attire.

Our relationships vary widely. Some have fully-participating SOs who support and nurture their efforts; others are in DADT situations, some of which have as many rules as the game of golf; and unfortunately a few have had relationships destroyed by their practices.

There are, of course, many more dimensions in which we have variations. I won't attempt to articulate them all.

Despite these differences, we're bonded by the overarching similarities we share, most notably that we're all fascinated by our feminine sides. This bond is so strong that our differences don't divide and polarize us, as so many topics (e.g., politics) do these days. Whereas discussions on other kinds of forum often quickly descend into arguments and name calling, dialogues here are respectful of our differences. Rather than divide us, they expand our understanding of the condition we all experience in different ways. And this results in people being able to express the most intimate and personal feelings they have in a supportive environment.

I find this extraordinary, and I commend both the contributors and providers of this forum for making it a truly wondrous place in which to discuss a truly wondrous activity.

[bridget thronton]

Nice post and quite agree - very diverse and generally accepting members of this community - wonderful moderators who are not afraid to share themselves with us too

[Nikki Pink]

Well said! This is what attracted me to this forum: a group of unique amazing individuals who help each other discover who they truly are, from a place of unconditional support and love.

[Jolene Robertson]

How true, we are a unique group of people that chose to find what we share in common instead of picking out the differences. And I love this site because it is clean and informative unlike so many of the others are more like a hook up place.

[Crissy 107]

IMO this is the absolute best place for us to be. The members here run the whole gamut to whatever place we are in the CD/TG world and for the most part get along very well.
We are all fortunate to be here!

[Kris Burton]

Well stated. I am very happy being a small part of this forum and community !

[AmeeJo]

Wow! Absolutely spot on observation. I'm so happy I found this site. I feel so safe here and I am really able to be me. Thank you to everyone that helps make that happen!

[Sandi Beech]

It is in fact an interesting and diverse group, much more diverse than I originally noticed when I first joined. Sometimes I do feel like I am somewhat of an outlier, but I am not interested in making online relationships so a site like this is the best place for me. I just like to share what I do which is just to go out and have some fun.

I will say there have been heated discussions at times, and anyone who has followed posts frequently will notice the mods put an end to that quickly. Those negative posts magically disappear. That is what keeps this site civil without fail. Everyone knows if they get to far out of line, the hammer will come down, and that is a good thing and much appreciated by me. I recall one person often said what I consider hurtful to some people. That person is now banned for life. Works for me.

Sandi

[AngelaYVR]

This is [almost] true - i have seen very civil behaviour on other forums as well, such as tech and car related. I do wonder if the chasing away of strong opinions, though, has led to uniformity and blandness. I might be biased but I enjoy a properly good and well articulated pot boiler of a discussion.

[Mary Loo]

Great thread and points.

[sara_also]

absolutly correct!

[Territx]

I am in agreement with Angela on this aspect - I appreciate the diversity and even the "passionate" discussions, so long as they are reasonable and reasonably articulated. While I don't have any specific instance to point to (or at least that I am willing to share due to very limited information) I grow concerned when people's post and even their presence are "deleted", because, as the Original Post states, we are all so different even though we come to this site based upon a core issue. AND, I am not talking about making it the "Wild West" either, but surely there is some middle ground where we can all meet to discuss the issues without burning things to the ground. (Sorry, I get a little ramped up on various issues, at times. As some on this site know, my background leads me to championing a cause at times -- and I usually can argue either side of the issue. My wife accepts it but is usually not amused! )

[Karren H]

Outstanding observations and Well put!

[GaleWarning]

This is [almost] true - i have seen very civil behaviour on other forums as well, such as tech and car related. I do wonder if the chasing away of strong opinions, though, has led to uniformity and blandness. I might be biased but I enjoy a properly good and well articulated pot boiler of a discussion.

We have to give the mods a lot of credit for the way they scrutinize the posts on the site. There have been occasions in the past, where certain members were overly contentious and ended up being banned. And anyone visiting my page will note that I, too, have suffered the wrath of a mod and ended up being banned. Fortunately, I was able to argue my case, and after a period of penance, was able to rejoin the community. I wrote a long post about it, which is probably still available to view.

Banning still takes place. I'm not sure what protocols are in place these days to appeal such decisions. Perhaps Tamara or a mod could start a 'sticky' explaining the processes which apply to both actions?

But the OP is correct - this site truly is a place for people such as you and I, who are outliers when it comes to what most members of society consider to be 'normal', to discuss our diverse yet mutual interests, and learn from each other, in a safe environment. Long live cd.com!!!

[Marissa Q]

I'm still very new here but I, too, am continually amazed at the rich, complex tapestry of interesting people here. There are times when I think some of the same thoughts expressed by AngelaYVR and Territx; in essence, that perhaps it's a bit too civilized here. But my work involves participation in many online communities and -- even on the most innocuous questions/topics -- everything quickly degenerates, spirals out of control and then becomes out flat out toxic. And if it happens in the most non-controversial online communities, the likelihood of a complete breakdown of the near-Utopia we all have here is magnified by several orders of magnitude. I don't envy a single moderator here because they have their work cut out for them, not only in terms of policing problematic posts/responses but in achieving the delicate balance necessary to keep this community thriving, welcoming and understanding.

I also find it mind-blowing that this community has lasted so long and, truth be told, it has much to do with the very balanced minds who nudge and prune with the gentlest of hands. I really think the aforementioned has a concomitant effect on the rest of us, too; despite the incredible diversity of opinions and lifestyles (which can often lead to huge "forum wars"), the vast majority of girls here really seem to put kindness/understanding before controversy.

Don't ever sell any of yourselves short. You really are some wonderful, complex, nuanced and fascinating individuals. It warms my heart daily to see so many "Join Date" profile markers dating relatively far into the past (2005 for Karen, for instance!). It makes me feel that this is a very stable place that's here to stay.

[Stephanie47]

This is [almost] true - i have seen very civil behaviour on other forums as well, such as tech and car related. I do wonder if the chasing away of strong opinions, though, has led to uniformity and blandness. I might be biased but I enjoy a properly good and well articulated pot boiler of a discussion.

I enjoy this site. This is a site that I am not afraid of my wife finding. In fact, she alerted me to the fact I failed to close my browser one day. Angela, I too "enjoy a properly good and well articulated pot boiler of a discussion." But, and that is a big BUT; I have seen what happens on the MSN news page. Civil? Intelligent comments? Nope. My wife belongs to a discussion board with moderators, who also are quick to give an axe to comments that are not appropriate or civil. I have found over the years people with strong opinions do not bend with the wind, but, end up snapping.

[Natalie5004]

I have posted on a site like this except it is for HIFI opinions, comments, help, complaints...etc.

The moderators there let the folks have free reign. I would say that within 10 comments the name calling starts. This is for HIFI equipment. Not world domination.

My hat is off to all the moderators here and to the great group of folks that are on it. That reminds me, where is my pink hat?

Natalie.

[Heather76]

I'm also relatively new here; and, I have to agree with the observations of the original poster. This site has been the best thing that's happened to me with regard to my cross dressing. I've learned a lot here both about dressing and about how to interact with my wife with regards to my dressing. I've not always taken the advice as offered; but, I have always considered it within the framework of understanding how my wife reacts to me (and things in general). If it weren't for this site, I'd likely still be wearing panties and nighties and nothing else. The encouragement here has allowed me to expand my CD horizons. For that I am thankful.

[GracieRose]

I also am grateful to the moderators for keeping this wonderful site full of experience, advice, and in general, a wonderful community to belong to. Perhaps this should be the model for the many social sites that seem to exhibit so much tension. Or perhaps, crossdressers are a special group of people and are perhaps nicer than teh average person. Hmmmm......

[JulieC]

Here, here! Well said, MysteryWoman! (nice pseudonym by the way!)

[Geena75]

Well said. Diversity is a key element of this forum, and always seems to have been. I am very pleased at the progress made over time. When I first came on board I often got the feeling that I was just such a novice and not worth considering, but now the levels of acceptance and encouragement make it a truly safe haven for discussion.

[SaraLin]

Well said everyone, but let's not forget the natural-born women (GG's) who are willing to take the time and effort to give us their perspective.
Without their presence here to help "keep it real", we might just become a mutual admiration society and wander off into the pink fog and get hopelessly lost.

[Helen_Highwater]

One of the things that stuck me early on in my outandaboutery journey was when about 4-5 years ago I'd arranged to meet up with another from this forum in a LBGTQ friendly bar that I'd never been in before. I was one of the first in there so sat waiting just watching those that came in after me.

A group of CD'ers came in, bought drinks and after a few minutes started dancing. This gave me a good chance to observe the different ways in which they dressed as individuals. And I guess that's the point. They were all individuals. There was one who sticks in my memory. Her dress was mostly see through apart from the parts around the bust and hips areas. It was a dress that needed a younger shapelier female to do it the justice it deserved. I can remember thinking that it wasn't a dress I'd be seen dead in and it certainly didn't look good on her.

But that's her choice. If she liked it it's hers to wear. We all make our own decisions as to what we want to wear, what we want to do and where we want to go and when. We all have an image in our heads of what we want to look like. Different levels of desire and need to get out the door or not. As males we're all different so it comes as no surprise as CD'ers we're all different.

That said, if I went out wearing something that didn't look good on me, it'd be nice to have a friend to say, "Er, I hope you don't mind me saying...."

[docrobbysherry]

What I learned here after eons of my random comments, was that this site is about Supporting CD's and Trans. It took a long time and many warnings from the Mods.

But, I finally got it! If your comment isn't about dressing and isn't positive/informative? It doesn't belong here, period!

[Debbie Denier]

I think it is very civilised here.Not everybody is the same. Very diverse which is great.I also salute the moderators. Everybody is entitled to be different .Lets live and let live.