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Thread: Just curious? or a bag of worms.

  1. #1
    Mature Member sara_also's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Southern Utah

    Just curious? or a bag of worms.

    Perhaps it's just me, but I wonder why someone would want to be your friend on this site and after you accept their friend request you never hear from them again.

    Do others have this happen?

    I can't quite figure out why this happens so often.

    Please let me know if you have any ideas.


  2. #2
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Madison AL
    Sara, I have many who do that. It turns out that sometimes we run out of things to say to each other. Have you tried PMing them to see if you get a response.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    Remember this:
    You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.

  3. #3
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Feb 2017
    I know. This is why I never send or accept any friend request. Because every time one was accepted, the senders were never to be heard of again... (ominous music)
    Seriously, I suppose some folks may just be interested in tracking your posts more easily, or too shy to do the first step.

  4. #4
    Member Terrihoney's Avatar
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    Oct 2008
    I can see Chicago from my house
    On many forums, collecting 'friends' is a status symbol. Same as 'Likes' on FB. Look at me! I'm loved by a cast of thousands. (obscure reference to Bozo's Circus) The friends I do accept share common views or interests as I do.

    Hugs, Terri

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Las Vegas Nevada
    I never really understood the friends on here thing that much. You can send anyone a pm. I do have 19 friends but I don't interact with them any more then the regular forum.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Geena75's Avatar
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    Mar 2013
    I'm often puzzled that I get friend requests in the first place. Of course, I'm still such a novice at social media that I may not get what the advantages are of friending someone on the site. A PM to go with a friend request would help, too.

  7. #7
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Aug 2013
    I have a few friends here that have sent me requests and we certainly don't interact regularly. I have a couple I have sent out and try to interact with them occasionally. but like others have said I use it more to track their posts and to PM them once in a while. There is only one member I communicate with regularly.

  8. #8
    Junior Member JustJennifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2021
    I don't really understand the friend thing here myself either, but if they're active here and not some weird new account I'll always accept the request.

    It's not as much an issue here as it is on CDH, where every other time I post something I get a couple of friend requests from brand new accounts with zero posts. No thank you.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    i don't have enough time to be active friends with people i have known in real life for 20 years let alone internet friends. life is busy. i am not kip dordy

  10. #10
    Avatar is FaceAp enhanced Mary Loo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2022
    Southeast US
    I am glad others have posted what I have wondered. What is the advantage or point of friends on here? I am all for it, and have accepted any coming my way and only sent out one so far, but again, I don’t understand what distinction it provides.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Nov 2019
    Southeast US
    Probably the biggest benefit is that it is easy to see when your friends are online so you can PM in real time, but I only stay in frequent touch with a handful of members. Some have come and gone.


  12. #12
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Portland, Oregon
    Hi Sara, Yep, that's me too. I have 50 friends here, not sure how I ended up with so many. I don't make it a point to follow or reach out much. Good observation, I will watch this post. Brenda

  13. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Going to seed!
    I had a bunch of friends, even requested friend status, but honestly, I never knew what significance the friend status had. I guess I am not very grood at being a friend here or in real life.

  14. #14
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Living in the present
    I've been here for fourteen years, and in that time I have managed to accumulate 33 friends.
    Of these
    1 is a very good personal friend of mine
    A handful are still active on the site - too many are no longer active
    There is one to whom I send an email at Christmas - she replies - she is no longer active on the site.
    Another would chat with me on Skype, but we are no longer in touch.
    4 have been banned!!! Wow!

    There is one person on this site with whom I regularly exchange emails - s/he is not officially a friend - the correspondence began after s/he commented in a PM on one of my posts (or I on hers? = can't recall).
    I have mentioned previously that there is only other one person met on this site that I have actually met face-to-face. It was like meeting a brother! We are no longer in touch.

    We all move on.

  15. #15
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    There are friend collectors, some think its a creditability thing "hey I know such and such" and some actually follow-up on birthday's/holidays etc...

    My friends, I've always welcome them to CT if ever passing through etc...
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  16. #16
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    Beats me. Not like my 563 friends and I get together for breakfast every morning. I do get a lot of PMs and do respond to them all (more so here than my email account which I hardly ever check). And send out a lot So much so that I keep bumping the 250 PM limit and then have to go clean up my messages. But I love them all! Probably more than they know and more than I do most of my blood relatives. Lol.
    Last edited by Karren Hutton; 04-17-2022 at 05:42 AM.

  17. #17
    Non-Binary Member Krea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Kent, England, UK
    In five years here i have sent approx. 20 friend requests and i do confess to being bad at corresponding.
    They are all members whose contributions here i particularly like.

    Quite a few were the members that i met during the online Zoom chats last year. Another was to a member whom i also contacted on Facebook. They are all people that i would genuinely like to meetup with, but for the unfortunate fact that i live on on the other side of the world and have a fear of flying. (Actually, it's not a fear of flying, it's a fear of crashing, but i digress....)

    One member lives comparatively nearby, but our attempts to meetup were hampered by pandemic. Hopefully this summer local Pride events will bring another opportunity.
    "The only way is onward. There is no turning back."

  18. #18
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    Michigan USA
    I often send friend requests as a way of supporting new members - to let them know I appreciate them being here

  19. #19
    Just being true to myself Jolene Robertson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Southern US
    Hi Sara,

    Hi Gi,

    I do find this true even of myself. I usually send out a FR if I see that we do or have lived in the same area or share similar interests and assume that those sent to me are for the same reason. Many friends have exchanged PM's and emails but over time we have said what we wanted to cover and it fades off. I still have one friend from here that we've gone out together with some other girls from here and we stay in touch even though she no longer logs in and a couple who have been Banned

    I still use the activity log to see what my friends have been commenting on in case I miss something, which I do sometimes.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2021
    Merseyside UK
    Like Geena I am a social media novice.So not familiar with etiquette. Dont do facebook etc and can?t exactly ask daughters what to do on this site.But I would not take it personally. I have found the same has happened to me.I occasionally send and respond to PMs. But most communication I do is via threads.

  21. #21
    Senior Member JocelynJames's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    I send and receive FR on here. It?s usually because I see more in common than the obvious and I would assume the ones I received are the same. I always respond to messages ( when I see them as sometimes I don?t get the notifications.) Truthfully, getting messages from friends here is one of the things I look forward to, although it doesn?t happen much. Seeing friends posts in your feed gives you a good idea on their views, without playing 20 questions. So many of us are older and have a life involving work, family, friends, and hobbies. So much so, that time here is sometimes limited. I do check the forum multiple times a day , but sometimes feel this is a place where people not only come to verify we are not alone, but our actions are justified. I think in the end , a digital representation of someone does not present the same way as face to face. All ?relationships? need to be nurtured to continue. I literally received a fr on FB today from someone I haven?t seen for 35 years?..why? I wondered. Also , as much as some of us want to present as female the best we can, I believe our male brains aren?t wired that way I.e. we are not that social unless it?s one of our other passions ( woodworking, music, cars or motorcycles, outdoorsmen etc) . Just my take?and we can still be friends, regardless , if you want.
    If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss

  22. #22
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    I suppose many just like to have lots of friends to show. It takes a lot of time to communicate with everyone you have listed as a friend and most of us don't follow up that way.
    I know I have a few friends here that I write to now and then. we don't communicate frequently but that's ok.
    Truthfully I have friends from High School and College that are that way also. We may not talk for a year but then when we do it's like it was yesterday.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  23. #23
    Member JennyMay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    East Anglia, in the UK
    To be honest I’m not good at friends, either online or in the real world. I wish I was but somehow I just can’t get the hang of it. I have some autistic traits and may well be on the spectrum somewhere.

  24. #24
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    I have a bunch of requests that I have never responded to. In the past I did acknowledge a handful, but soon it was "What do we have in common, other than wearing women's clothing?" It akin to having neighbors on your block who only give a nod of the head to each other. If someone sends me a private message I will respond to the query.

  25. #25
    Junior Member Blynda52's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Hey Krea, Yes those zoom meetings were fun, and I still have that "Roots" trip on my bucket list Ronnie
    "A smile is the best makeup a girl could wear." (M.M.)

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