No idea what the overall percentage is but I have a boyfriend who is accepting, supportive and encouraging!
No idea what the overall percentage is but I have a boyfriend who is accepting, supportive and encouraging!
Claire, you must not read many of the posts!Originally Posted by Claire M
There are many members here that are deep into hiding, so deep that The CIA could not find them! There are many wives that won't do DADT, just "hell no!" then the CD'er has to figure out how not too, and that never ends like it is planned, or go into deep cover and figure out how to hide it and wait for the day with the Mrs, finds out, or just end the relationship.
Pumped, I have read many post here, I also live in that same world. If the SO knows they are in a relationship with a CD and stays around, they are "accepting". As I noted, "accepting" has many degrees. My wife found out my "secret" 15 years into our mariage. That was 25 years ago. We rarely discuss it and she definitely does not support it but knows it will always be a part of me; something I can never stop. I would consider staying with someone that long as acceptance.
There are a lot of semantics in this question. If one has no knowledge they can neither accept or reject. If one has knowledge they can accept or walk away. They may not support but by staying around they accept.
All I can say is my wife is extremely enthusiastic to the point that I am dressed 24/7 and questions asked if I am not, it must be very difficult for those of you who would love to dress but have to hide the fact or face derision from those who are your loved ones
So you live and work as a woman? Aside from your wife, how do your family and friends feel about this?
Krisi
There is sparse reliable sociological research on this topic but almost none is a good estimation just from the content on this site and of those who are
" accepted" - no wife will publicly admit their husband or SO is a CD to their friends and of those who are " accepting" it seems almost al are in " traditional male provider roles" and this is what the wife
insists on them being rather than " being themselves" ie the motivation to accept is material, no pun intended.
I am going to get in trouble - but Napoleon Bonaparte said "a Lady has no rank" by this he meant a women's power lies in femininity
When the most liberal woman I ever knew , whom I date din HS and UNI, who was a champion in the Arts Community - revered by the gay community as a supporter, she who was who was 10 million percent pro gay marriage, gay rights and pro transgender - but NEVER for her partner, and she freaked on my CDing after saying it was natural and to be accepted - It shocked me to the core ,
being naturally happy go lucky and industrious, I then knew not to give up a life of certain happiness and prosperity as a single for a very uncertain future and potential ruin in marriage.
We can only be what we are and asa TG man - I knew my odds were best as a bachelor and miss having children but
not the terrible animus in today's marital relations. -- I saw it coming by the late 60s.
Last edited by kellyanne; 05-01-2022 at 06:53 PM.
No greater truth ever uttered, sometimes_miss.
An irreconcilable dichotomy if I've ever heard one! 100% no from her, but 100% yes-style "certainty" from you. If there's a 100% non-preference for CD'ing, there's 100% likelihood of damage. (YCBMV = Your Cognitive Bias May Vary)
My heavens, but truth abounds in this thread. Couldn't agree more, Karren.
Absolutely spot-on, and great move for you KellyAnne. There will be regrets, yes, but the net result is that you haven't been at war with another individual in close quarters for all eternity. The "terrible animus" you speak of is part and parcel of many modern relationships and -- at least in my mind -- requires an utterly useless sacrifice performed merely for a conventional social order that was unappealing from the get-go. Good on you and stay brave.
I want to chime in here with yet another item that's not spoken of directly here (although a few girls have obliquely noted it in this thread): the powerful combination of finances and aging. It is a de facto proposition that any partner, be they male or female, who is trapped by economic circumstance and must simply grin-and-bear-it as a result, can never be a truly "accepting" partner. Acceptance requires an equally de facto freedom of action, thus acceptance via hard-lined cost-benefit analysis is hardly worth an emotional cent. To boot, if one's partner is far past the age (or energy-level) to engage in a "rebound" in search of another willing partner, then acceptance once again becomes rather hollow; I will repeat that that there is no real freedom of action there. As nearly anyone with a modicum of understanding about relationships will note: a partner will put up with the most enormous pile of "issues" or "problems" if the financial incentive to do so is ample enough and economic survival becomes the primary driving behavioral force. Overt co-dependency nullifies nearly all levels/varieties of "acceptance".
Incredibly (!), there are many girls on here who are in exactly the same boat. They can't fully "come out" because of financial fears usually associated with their job/career/livelihood. Thus, they "accept" their closeted position, even if it absolutely sucks! I often wonder if they ever ask themselves whether their spouses might be suffering under the same rubric, and I'd wager that many actually are. Both parties simply have to suck it up! But as everyone knows, anyone who has to "suck it up" -- be they crossdresser or "accepting" partner -- will undoubtedly exhibit some nasty behavior as a result and, thus, overt/covert pushback becomes the norm.
Again, I'm very much with Karren Hutton on this one: "the percentage of accepting SOs is just north of zero".
Last edited by Marissa Q; 05-01-2022 at 10:56 PM.
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