Going out dressed but not passing

[Debs]

would Never Ever walk out the door without Makeup and a dress or a skirt on in femm mode

[Aunt Kelly]

I will take heat for this, regardless, but let me say up front that I support an individual's right to adopt whatever manner of dress they choose. There...
Now then... There is a big difference between a man in a dress (no attempt to present as actually feminine) and... let's say "not exactly passing". The vast majority of people out there are not accustomed to a pointedly non-binary expression of gender. It makes them uncomfortable and it works against those of us who have a binary identity/expression. Not saying that it's right, but I am saying that it's real.

[Leslie Mary S]

When I go out it is either as the guy me or the gal me. When gal, I wear light makeup. I do not try the "Blend of looks" any more.

[Bobbi46]

To a large extent I think it comes down to where you live and what people are like, i don't pass a such but nor do I get looked at either. I believe it is down to how you perceive yourself and how comfortable you are when you go out.

[abby054]

As for me, I prefer to follow the Esprit conference rule: I make the effort to look convincingly male or convincingly female. No mixing of clothing items. I make sufficient effort to ensure that any observer must pay close attention to notice any clues that I am not female.

One of my reasons for crossdressing is to get a respite by temporarily changing my identity or at least appear to do so. I work in a demanding job with lots of responsibilities. When I am on my own time, I want a break, even to the point of becoming someone else for a while, someone responsible only for herself. For a guy like me, there are few ways indeed more sure of temporarily becoming someone else than to appear convincingly female while out and about.

[prene]

For me I usually wear gg jeans all the time.

Maybe not skinny jeans but gg jeans (I love them "sorry Karen").

[Wendy-Lyn]

I can't pass as a woman, but I can come pretty close - so I just dress appropriately and blend.

Some can tell, many can't. Either way I don't mind, and I enjoy it immensely. And the odd compliment which comes my way is always welcome.

EDIT: So I went to the mall today, dressed in a pink top and my new skirt (a 'first'). Also sandals and black knee-highs, and my grey wig. Forms in a 14D bra. Jewellery and bright red nails. Just walked in and proceeded to go about my business. And no-one gave me a second (or even first) glance.

I did see one GG that I know, but who does not know about Wendy. She didn't give me a second look either.

[Denice]

I go out in women's clothes as a man all the time..... BUT it's not obvious. I wear only women's jeans and socks (if I must wear socks), nearly all my tank tops are racerback, and I have some women's T-shirts that aren't too obvious to someone not looking. I also have several pairs of women's canvas shoes with patterns you'll never find in the Men's section. I wear these things to work, to the sports bar, to the airport, etc. But I still look like a guy, probably no more odd than a guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

That sums it up for me as well. Is what I'm wearing from the women's side of the aisle? Yes? Then all is well in the world.

[hose.heels]

I have only been going out dressed for the past few weeks and only 4-5 times. When I do go out I am a blend of genders. Androgynous may be the correct term, though I don't really care what you call it. Typically I am wearing either women's short shorts or akle jeans with or without pantyhose, heels or very fem sandals and a feminine top. I do not have or wear or want falsies or bras and I have a hair chest that I do not keep completely covered. I have long hair that I usually curl when I go out and I wear make up, usually clean shaven, but not always.

I don't dress to present myself as female. I dress to present myself as me and that is a mixture of both femininity and masculinity. When in guy mode I'm probably 85/15 masculine and when enfem I am probably 85/15 fem. I am completely fine and comfortable with that. For me, it's just about being me, not trying to fit any social norms.

I know that this is confusing to some, but it is not to me. I probably draw more attention when I am in public because of it, but I don't really care about that. What other people think of me is none of my business.

[FemJim]

I went out yesterday in a tshirt maxi dress (could also kinda see my bra straps and brazilian cut panty lines), some mascara and lip gloss, fem cap and flip flops but very obviously male. I've been wearing women's shorts, sweats, tops, etc for years but only recently have started wearing dresses out and about and I'm totally hooked. Feels amazing and I love letting the world know who I am and what I'm about. Wish I'd started sooner.

[NancySue]

When I go out, my goal is to blend in which, in our small town, means little or no makeup, hose, heels, messy hair, etc. I usually wear women?s jeans, flats and a non-descript top. Having said that, I underdress daily, with panties, either pantyhose or thigh highs and my a cup underwire sweater bra, which I leave on. Yes, I?ve received some glances and smiles, but nothings been said.

[valerie anne]

I regularly go out shopping with a modest but firm bust (can't hide that now!), bra straps which show to a greater or lesser extent, and definite lip gloss. Only flats at the moment, injured knee.

I have never been challenged, and in the summer I like to observe other women's brassieres. Most of them are quite frumpy, and a lot are clearly wearing the wrong size (bands riding up, slipping straps).

I can imagine a competition, where the manager says: "OK ladies all tops off, let's see your undies". I would win the title with the sexiest lace bra with a perfect fit!

[Kelli_cd]

I'm sure that my "every day" bras are prettier than most of the women in my building. Our workforce is about 70% female.

[Jessax101]

Only been out once, but tried to be as fem as possible.. Thinking I didn?t really do a fabulous job if it, but was fun. A few GGs smiled and staff at store and restaurant was friendly. Do not necessarily want to go out 1/2 way either way!

Jess

[Audrey34]

I don't like going out in public right now. I have no confidence in myself or my appearance right now. I try to present as nicely as I can with full makeup, wig and everything but lately my heart just hasn't been into it. Back in November, my cd group went to a nice restaurant and I got dolled up for it but I didn't wear makeup. And when we got to the restaurant and waited to be seated a couple of drunken (I hope they were) customers at the nearby bar saw us and made a few rude comments about us. We took no notice of them but I kind of feel maybe it was my fault for not wearing makeup that evening.

[MonicaPVD]

Audrey, I know that feeling but trust me, it wasn't your lack of makeup that triggered those losers. You could have had Kim K's makeup artist work on your face but a group of CDs will always stand out. This opens us up to commentary from losers. Keep your chin up, with or without makeup on it!

[jen_ross]

As a girl who dresses only part way, this is a very interesting thread. I never bothered with wigs or forms, and have only dressed in private. I'm happy with lipstick, leggings, and a ladies' sporty top. OK also my gold metallic flats with anklet hose. It's OK to do whatever makes you happy, pardon for perhaps stating the obvious.

[Rachelakld]

I got fed up of having to dress fully a couple of times over the last few years.
I think having a decent head of hair would have made me more confident to continue.

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[Leslie Mary S]

Many ladies nowadays wear what looks like a man's style hair-do. so just do your face like you normally do and go for it.

[Melanie Sykes]

A couple of people have wondered about the mindset of going out dressed without makeup or wig, so I'll try to explain my own rationale.

Firstly, I personally consider "dressing" to be clothes and shoes, and consider makeup and wig to be another level over and above dressing. I dress for me, not for anyone else - I do it for the tactile sensations and for how it makes me feel. I'm not trying to fool anyone into thinking I'm a woman, and at 6'5" I'd never get close to passing if I did. Going back to the tactile thing, I love the feel of wearing a bra, though I don't have anything to put in it. I do have breast forms, but I keep them for the rare occasions I'm out in full femme mode, with wig and makeup. I don't dress like a hooker - just normal clothes that normal women my age wear in the day.

Secondly, I'm in a mostly DADT marriage. I can't dress at home, or if I can it's rare these days and usually for less than an hour. I don't have time for makeup nor am I inclined to ruin my male hair with a wig. Also, my wife and friends know me with a light beard. My wife hates when I shave my beard off, and it upsets her when I do because she knows it's probably because I've been wearing makeup. So I keep the beard - I last shaved it in 2017. When I do get a day to myself somewhere away from home (extremely rare), even without a beard I can't put makeup on in the house, and I'm sure as hell not trying to do it in the car!

Thirdly, I'm a man, and I quite like being a man - I just really love feminine things too. The times I've shaved my beard off I've found I love makeup - I love the process of putting it on and experimenting with shading and colours. I could spend hours doing it, and the finished results made me feel fantastic afterwards. But the main driver for me doing it was so that I would be less recognisable out and about. I look OK as a man, but I don't make a particularly good-looking woman. I don't get enough out of wig and makeup to be willing to upset my wife, have my friends potentially asking questions about where my beard has gone, and expending the time and effort each time just so I can wear the clothes I want to.

Having said all that about effort, I do shave my legs now and then, especially if they're going to be exposed. It's a huge part of the tactile sensation, and I don't like hairy legs (which mine naturally are).

Fourth, when dressed, I've had more looks, giggles and stares wearing a wig and makeup than without them. Same with heels - they provoke the laughs (my height doesn't help), but with flats nobody seems to notice, or if they do they accept that what I'm wearing isn't too outrageous. So I tend to stick with flats more these days, though I'd dearly love to wear heels.

Lastly, and I alluded to this in another thread yesterday, I'm just minding my own business, wearing clothes that half the planet is allowed to wear without even blinking. I'm not doing anything wrong. We have all been conditioned by society to expect the two accepted genders to dress in a certain kind of way, and when some people see someone who violates this expectation they can feel repulsed, that it is wrong, that it is fine to openly mock, and sometimes that it is punishable, but that really is a problem with society and in those people's own mindsets. People are weird machines: I accept that about myself, but I can't fix other people.