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Thread: Going out dressed but not passing

  1. #1
    New Member BridalGuy's Avatar
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    Going out dressed but not passing

    Does anyone go out dressed but without makeup or a wig? Like...obviously a male but wearing all fem attire? What kind of reaction do you get? I love going out wearing womens Jeans but I usually chicken out and will wear a guy style t shirt. I would much rather wear a girls t shirt or pink fleese jacket.

  2. #2
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    I frequently go out as a male but wearing female clothing (womens jeans and a blouse/top). Most of the time there is no reaction.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    I prefer going out fully en femme, but sometimes I do not have the time for everything when the pink fog hits. As a result , I have gone out with every permutation you can think of. Sometimes just large breast forms, or maybe neck down only. No one has said anything , but I find that women have paid me more compliments when fully dressed up. Guys try not to look if they do notice - generally speaking.

    Sandi

  4. #4
    Member Terrihoney's Avatar
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    Never. I want to be assumed as a woman, not a guy dressed up.
    Putting the 'Fun' back in dysfunctional.

  5. #5
    Member JuliannaS's Avatar
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    I go out a lot in leggings, sometimes womens jeans. Sometimes a tank top and bra under my jacket or sweatshirt.
    Aside from being called ma'am, no reaction.
    Last edited by JuliannaS; 05-07-2022 at 08:34 AM.
    JuleS.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Kelli_cd's Avatar
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    I go out wearing a femme top with my boy jeans. And I wear flip flops so everyone can see my pretty painted toes.

  7. #7
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I call them mix and match dressers. It is often a preferred expression used by non-binary people who sense a very strong blending of male and female identities and behaviors. It is a way to validate who they are in terms of identity and to express that publicly. But dressing female-like with no wig or makeup is sometimes referred to as MIAD (man in a dress). And there are those that do that and some can be found here on this forum. Not common, but it is a definable and valid pattern of expressing their gender identity. Privately, I have done that at times. To me, it is no point in going with the wig and makeup as that is a lot more work if I am just going to be knocking around the house.

  8. #8
    Member Michaela Jane's Avatar
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    I do most of the time, women's jeans or work pants and a unisex tee or a long sleeved women's top. I usually don't wear a bra & forms unless I need to have a jacket of some kind on. Today, for instance, I am going to the movies with my kids (I am closeted to them) and will be wearing bikini panties, women's dickies work pants, a unisex tee, women's New Balance sneakers and unisex socks. Nobody says a word & I assume the kids don't really care. Today, I will be in Dad mode.

  9. #9
    Lady in Waiting kinky_caitlin's Avatar
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    I have gone out many times in a skirt and top with no makeup or wig. Often I dont have time for the full transformation or I just dont care and want to wear a skirt. Never had any bad reactions. But do get lots of compliments from the GGs

  10. #10
    Member JuliannaS's Avatar
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    I want to start doing that, Caitlin.
    JuleS.

  11. #11
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Over the years a few dressers have showed up at our local T events with simply a dress on. No wig, make up, forms, or anything.

    Mostly it was my T friends that were bothered and wanted no part of them!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  12. #12
    Member LydiaL's Avatar
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    For me there is no point in cross dressing and going out unless I attempt to achieve at least some semblance of passing. Fem-boy looks OK by me are behind closed doors only.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    I go out either full male or full female no half way shit here.

  14. #14
    Member Billie's Avatar
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    I wear women's shorts and pants almost exclusively. Tops are sometimes. People see what you are showing them.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Heather76's Avatar
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    I will never do that. My wife and I were at LOWE'S one day. In the checkout line 2 or 3 people ahead of us was a guy with a partial beard and a man bun we could only see from the back. He obviously had a woman's top on (the spaghetti straps were a dead giveaway). As he turned slightly we could see he was wearing a bra and forms and then noticed he had on women's leggings. He then opened his small purse to make payment. My wife said to me: "Don't you ever go out dressed like that." I actually do listen to her. If/when I ever go out dressed, I would like to blend. I do not care to be a spectacle and provide others with an opportunity to be critical. While being fully dressed (wig, makeup, etc.) may not make me passable, if done correctly should make one close enough to leave a little room for doubt. Is she a she or isn't she a she?
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  16. #16
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    I go out in women's clothes as a man all the time..... BUT it's not obvious. I wear only women's jeans and socks (if I must wear socks), nearly all my tank tops are racerback, and I have some women's T-shirts that aren't too obvious to someone not looking. I also have several pairs of women's canvas shoes with patterns you'll never find in the Men's section. I wear these things to work, to the sports bar, to the airport, etc. But I still look like a guy, probably no more odd than a guy wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

  17. #17
    Junior Member bre's Avatar
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    My wife is generally accepting of my interests and is moving even more toward becoming supportive. The only "DA" upon which she insists is "Don't advertise;" my bride has said that what would look best on me if dressed in public is "distance." Even so, I would like to try perhaps some level of going out dressed, although it would probably lean toward a more androgynous look. Taking the advice from many in this forum, I have begun to subtly notice women of my age group in public for their styles and mannerisms.
    Last edited by char GG; 05-08-2022 at 05:36 PM. Reason: There is a rule against complaining about how people present themselves

  18. #18
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    No, Never.
    I don't wish to be seen as anything other than an average woman when I'm in public. I may not "pass" but it's not about that for me, it's about presenting myself in public in the best light possible as someone who prefers being female in all aspects.
    I don't ever wish to be seen as a MIAD, but that's my thing, not everyone's.

    I have to add that most of my clothes are women's. All my jeans, most tops and all my underwear. I don't wear anything overtly feminine in drab even though almost everything I'm wearing is female. All that would be obviously seen as feminine is reserve for when I am presenting as such.
    Last edited by Cheryl T; 05-09-2022 at 04:41 PM.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  19. #19
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    Not to work, but everywhere else I wear tight women's jeans or leggings. I often wear just a unisex sweatshirt as a top.. Sometimes I add an undetectable bra and/or other femme undergarments. I have long hair and facial hair. I just look like an aging rock and roller. The only comment I ever get is that I look much younger than my age of 69.

  20. #20
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Heather76 View Post
    I will never do that. My wife and I were at LOWE'S one day. In the checkout line 2 or 3 people ahead of us was a guy with a partial beard and a man bun we could only see from the back. He obviously had a woman's top on (the spaghetti straps were a dead giveaway). As he turned slightly we could see he was wearing a bra and forms and then noticed he had on women's leggings. He then opened his small purse to make payment. My wife said to me: "Don't you ever go out dressed like that." I actually do listen to her. If/when I ever go out dressed, I would like to blend. I do not care to be a spectacle and provide others with an opportunity to be critical. While being fully dressed (wig, makeup, etc.) may not make me passable, if done correctly should make one close enough to leave a little room for doubt. Is she a she or isn't she a she?
    I've gone out in blend mode and just tooled around shopping not buying. Casual conversations but little other interactions. Sometime just jean skirt, top and flip-flops and maybe a little makeup. Other times just androgynous chiselled yet well endowed. As far as sketty straps, beard and bun, well, I have no issue with appearance and personal comfort zone. I do enjoy wearing a fabulous bra with forms but, a nice rack would sorta be too much distraction if I was buying lumber. And you know sHe or ShE, which ever you prefer, is jut being his desired ME.

    Hmm? I wonder if there's a man bun with a full beard hairpiece on Amazon? Pink or blue?
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Majella St Gerard View Post
    I go out either full male or full female no half way shit here.
    I totally agree. I wish someone would really explain what is the mindset. It totally confuses me. My daughter has worn men's shoes because the shoes was more comfortable than a women's shoe. My wife worn men's jeans on occasion because it was difficult to find a pair of women's jeans that fit her. That was true of my granddaughter too. She has no hips and the young guy jeans fit her better. My wife raids my collection of "Peanuts/Snoopy" tee shirts. None of these women were thinking they were flying under the radar like the women in those "Maidenform Dream Ads." Is there some sense of satisfaction in not going all the way? I realize it is "each to his own," but a bearded guy at Lowe's wearing obvious women's attire......I cannot understand the mindset. The other day my wife blurted out to something she saw on television; "Why would a guy wear a bra when he has nothing to pack into it?"

  22. #22
    Member Teresa.Smith.VA's Avatar
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    CherylT's statement summarizes my thoughts. I wish to be seen as a woman when I'm in public, even if I don't always "pass". My wife strongly agrees with me too. She is most always out with me and once told me that she would be uncomfortable if my presentation as Teresa was not as convincing as possible.
    Fact: Some members can never post pictures in their feminine finery to support their stories and experiences. Please be understanding and kind.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Christie ann's Avatar
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    I think it’s great that we can have this discussion and how far things have come in just the 15 years I have been a member on this site. It wasn’t that long ago that you just didn’t see anyone mixing clothes of each gender. I remember getting up the courage to ask about a makeover and being told, We dont do men or when I was stopped by the police because I was walking down the street in a dress. Ya, the wig was awful, but still.
    Now, a guy can go to a lumber yard in a camisole. I am glad there are still people out there pushing limits for all of us.

  24. #24
    Member Joanne108's Avatar
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    If I am going to wear woman?s clothes I will dress completely. So as a rule I am totally dressed as a woman. I may pass until someone notices my height. No one has ever said there?s a guy in a dress when I am out in public. So maybe I do pass.

  25. #25
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    The other day my wife blurted out to something she saw on television; "Why would a guy wear a bra when he has nothing to pack into it?"
    Quite simple. The visual (we see female attire on us), tactile (feel it all, including hair brushing against our skin in different ways than it did with a guy's hairstyle), and perhaps olfactory (perfume / powders, etc.) and auditory sensations ( earrings / necklace / bracelets clinking in ways that male accessories do not) that we can get from crossdressing, provide what we believe to be female specific feelings, which can help dissipate GID.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

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