Definitely discovered today

[Crissy 107]

Or, tell her that you will show her yours if she will show you hers!

Not the best idea but it did make me laugh

[Heather76]

Well, the consensus is still at 100%. I'm glad I sought out the wisdom of the more experienced. As I said yesterday, my lips are sealed. Or, as another put it, I'll "zip it."
I do understand that so long as I wear a bralette in public, I risk someone figuring it out. And that's okay. But, yes, it makes perfect sense for me to ALWAYS remain silent unless someone asks me about it.

Seriously, thanks for all the good feedback. You girls rock!

I will mention something that many people don't understand. That is the fact that people with ADD/ADHD often are unable to pick up on social clues. We often don't put 2 and 2 together to understand how to behave properly in social situations. With the responses I received here, I understand my desire to show appreciation, while maybe admirable, could have well made her uncomfortable - something I would hate to do. So again, thanks.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Maybe it is me, but she sounds awfully touchy-feely for a platonic stranger. Almost like she is setting you up for something.

A man would be torn to pieces if he hugged a woman (who is not his SO) and groped her bra hooks like that.

[Heather76]

Vickie, I'd describe her more as a cheerleader as she is like this with most people. She is simply exceptionally bubbly in her personality and makes everyone she meets feel good about themselves. Yes, men would be in trouble in this day and age initiating contact like that.

[Michelle Isgurly]

I agree to not saying anything, its probably best not to.....................But maybe next time she hugs you and feels your bra maybe step back a half step after she lets go then reach into your collar and adjust a shoulder strap to see what she says or what her reaction will be? Sounds like she knows to me.

[MiniRock]

Don't say anything now. Wait until she snaps your bra strap.

Extremely wise. When we hug somebody, we are probably not particularly sensitive as to where our hands land. She probably didn't notice.

[Heather76]

UPDATE TIME: I've seen this same lady several times since the episode that prompted this thread. Today was another encounter seeing her. When we greeted one another, she said, "I saw you yesterday." I asked "Where?" as we do not live near one another. In the shopping forum I had recounted my day of shopping and doing other things yesterday. One of the things I had done was buy a dress at Ross Dress For Less. She told me that was where she saw me. She then asked what I had bought and I told her a dress. It took her a second to say (in reference to my wife), "Did she love it?" I told her, she liked it to which she asked it I buy my wife clothing very often. I told her the truth that I do buy my wife clothing from time to time.

It was at that moment I knew I simply could not lie to a friend. So, I said, "I bought the dress for myself. I like to cross dress at home." She said, "No, not really?" I said something along the lines of, "Listen, Stephanie, I cross dress at home, my wife is well aware that I do, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this to anyone. I hope this doesn't dampen our friendship; but, I just cannot lie to you." She assured me the fact I cross dress isn't an issue for her. She then went on to tell me she believes me to be one of the more knowledgeable volunteers at this place and one of the volunteers that interacts with our guests better
than most other volunteers. BTW, Stephanie happens to be an employee of this place. Anyway, when we parted I told her I truly appreciate her being so nice and non-judgmental.

I hate that people lie and I simply cannot do so myself. While I didn't actually lie, letting her have the impression I purchased the dress for my wife would have been akin to lying. There is also the real possibility (as mentioned in my initial post) she's aware of my CDing having probably felt the bra straps. If she did figure me out, I would not want her to think I purposely led her astray or lied to her. Friends don't lie to friends. At least, that is a part of my belief system. The bottom line is the exchange went well.

[Mary Loo]

Heather,

Did it make you feel good to have confessed the truth? Especially since she was non judgmental? I have to guess she hadn’t suspected or felt anything with the hug, but glad you were comfortable enough to share and your friend took it well.

[Heather76]

I don't know that it made me feel good to confess the truth. But, I am pleased that I lived up to the same standard I expect of others which is to not lie. I also don't know that I was comfortable sharing with her that I CD. But, it was that or lie. I was extremely glad she took it so well. I actually feel blessed that she did. However, while we are not social friends, I anticipated she would have no problems. She is 50 years old (a few years younger than my daughter) and that age group is a whole bunch more accepting than the old grumps in my age group.

[Kris Burton]

Nicely done Heather. I have wondered how I might handle a situation like this and now I have a model.

[Debbie Denier]

Glad it worked out okey for you Heather.The temptation to come out to this lady was obviously strong . Once the genie is out of the bottle or toothpaste out of the tube. There is no going back.You must trust her implicitly.

[Erin Lafleur]

So happy that it worked out well for you Heather. Honesty is such a admirable virtue and it's very affirming to see it win the day!

[Jenn A116]

Love reading about this experience! Great outcome.

[April Rose]

I think the fact that she told you that she saw you in a dress shop changed the dynamic considerably. You were no longer talking about your underwear. It was a public place and you were making a public purchase. There was still the open ended question as to how she would take it, but obviously you read the situation correctly. I think you handled it well.

[Heather2die4]

When I have been 'caught' underdressing in this way and she gives me the look that says she knows, I get very soft and thank her for her understanding and acceptance. I def agree with the girls that you don't want to get too enthusiastic but you do need to tell her the truth: that you are grateful to her for being a true friend. Every woman wants to hear that. And let's face it. Getting caught is the best part of underdressing.

I once was in male mode shopping for vintage girl clothes and asking about dress sizes. The lady was very direct and said she figured me for a size ten. In other words, she knew I wasn't shopping for a girlfriend. I thanked her as above, and we had a deep and intimate conversation. You'll be missing out if you don't even try. Besides, it feels so good to own your crossdressing at that level.

[Patience]

That was a very smooth process, especially the coming out part.

I hope things are still moving along swimmingly.

[Heather76]

Things are just fine. I have seen her a few times since coming out to her. Each time has been just like the others - always a hug and a bubbly greeting.

[Fiona_44]

That's nice to hear Heather.

[Heather76]

Today I happen to be volunteering in an area that put me very close to where Stephanie was working. Thus, our paths crossed quite a few times today. There was one time when we were alone with nobody else within earshot so I simply had to say, "Stephanie, while were not social friends, we are friends and I really want to thank you for being nonjudgmental." Her response was quite simple in asking why would she judge me. We ended up having a great 10 - 15 minute conversation. She actually found it difficult to believe that folks of my generation (mid 70s) would have issues knowing I CD. When I explained that during my younger days, crossdressing was regarded as a mental "defect" and those that did CD were often thought of as sexual deviants, she couldn't believe it. Anyway, it was a wonderful conversation. When it was over, I hugged her and said, "Stephanie, I love you."