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Thread: Hi new here

  1. #1
    New Member
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    Hi new here

    Quick story
    Im 51 in great fitness shape 6 feet 175
    I?m married with 3 kids
    I started dreaming of dressing like a girl roughly 20 years ago.
    Finally a month ago I bought a bunch of stuff. Yep pairs of high heels 3/4 baby dolls nylons Bobby Sox thongs. It was not easy getting this stuff into my house and now I have the fearful problem of hiding it!
    So I found two hours of complete privacy and I tried on everything and added lipstick. I wish so badly I knew make up but hell for a first timer I did ok. There were a few things I?d like to improve for the next time. More shaving especially chest and legs ( not overly hairy to start but I like smooth clean)I only have one wig and it?s pink( yeah bad choice) I?d rather a blonde or strawberry.I?d love to have long nails hot make up done the right way? I?m far far away from that. Does this sound like a normal first time experience and what should I expect. Right now I?m just gonna wait till I get 2-3 hrs alone again�� that?s Stephanie
    Last edited by Di; 05-14-2022 at 10:30 AM. Reason: Support forum / not a forum to write about your sexual fantasies/ read the RULES

  2. #2
    Member TAG's Avatar
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    Welcome and I would say there are plenty here that are just like you and how you are feeling.
    There is a lot to be wary of too if your wife is not on board but thats a discussion for another day.
    Glad you are here and if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask.

  3. #3
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    Welcome Stephanie. Like you, I was a late bloomer too. I understand those early experiences, and for me dressing remains quite exciting . I am also very glad I did not sell my wife short, ditched the sneaking around and came out soon after I began. I found it removed the stress of the constant deception and fearing I would be "caught". She was understanding and now participates up to a point. So for me, the question is how and when to let your wife in on this.
    Last edited by char GG; 05-14-2022 at 11:51 AM. Reason: The part you commented about was deleted

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Heather76's Avatar
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    Stephanie, I suggest you take what Kris has written to heart. Your married and just started to act out your desire to dress. Speak with your wife very, very soon. The longer you hold off telling her, the more upset she will be when (not if) she finds out because of the deception. It is a difficult discussion to have. Just be honest, ask for her understanding, and negotiate boundaries if there need to be boundaries. There is always the possibility she will embrace the more feminine side you have. My wife went from "why did I need to know this" to acceptance in under 18 months. She doesn't embrace my dressing; but, she's okay with it so long I do it in relative privacy.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  6. #6
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Welcome Stephanie! I would say that there is no normal in our abnormal group! But you will fit in amazingly well! And though it would be nice to have your wife approve and even participate, the risks of telling her this late in the game are as high as getting caught, maybe higher? And maybe not getting caught is part of the thrill as much as doing something that is not socially acceptable? IDK but I do remember the excitement level of sneaking out dressed many times.
    Last edited by char GG; 05-14-2022 at 11:46 AM. Reason: The comment you replied about was deleted

  7. #7
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    What you describe certainly falls within the curve of common behaviors for cross dressers. Hope you are enjoying your emergence after 20 or more years of delay!

  8. #8
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Stephanie, Welcome to the forum.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Welcome. Since this is all new to you, you are in a great spot to approach the topic with your wife.
    Last edited by Di; 05-14-2022 at 08:36 AM. Reason: Removed the part you were talking about

  10. #10
    New Member Megan77's Avatar
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    welcome and enjoy

  11. #11
    Member rachelatshop's Avatar
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    Hi Stephanie, I just want to welcome you back to our little community It was this community that first helped me when I was trying to learn about my cross dressing. So I want to help others. I also want to encourage you to open up to your wife, it may have to be a DADT relationship but at least you have been hornest. Happy dressing always and May the force be always with you Rach

  12. #12
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Welcome. I am sure you can find many answers here and endless good suggestions of how to handle situations. As others have said, it is important to have a talk with your wife about your feelings and the fact that you seem to have a need to sometimes self-identify as being more female-like. If there is no or very little sexual connection with those feelings let her know. One of the first questions she will likely ask is if you are gay. That is a stereotype society pins on crossdressers and transgender and it is sometimes true but far more often not.

    The important thing is to be honest because she will likely be upset with the dishonesty that has happened already. Don't expect her to participate or necessarily approve at first - she married what, in her eyes, was a man. Most important, go slow and suddenly escalate on the basis of tentative "approval." Don't force things on her.

    Wives can find advantages in having a mate that is a bit more like her, but it takes a lot of time and freedom for her to work it out and understand what is happening better. It can work out, but it takes time, sympathy, empathy, compassion and finding a common combination that is comfortable for both of you.

  13. #13
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I don't want to mislead u, Stephanie. Posts about undies and bras r as common as dirt here.
    Last edited by char GG; 05-14-2022 at 11:47 AM. Reason: The comment that you replied about was deleted
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    What you describe certainly falls within the curve of common behaviors for cross dressers. Hope you are enjoying your emergence after 20 or more years of delay!
    Wow thanks all for replies. Impossible position for me to tell my wife ? it?s as simple as I cannot. That?s ok too. I do not desire to dress outside of my hike I believe. I?d just like to take part 2-3 x a month. Like I mentioned above my goal would be to become as feminine as possible when I do dress and while I have a nice body in clothes? there?s miles to go with hair make up nails. I thuroughly enjoyed shopping for clothes! Now I know why women shop😺

  15. #15
    Junior Member Crystal120's Avatar
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    Welcome Stephanie enjoy yourself here

  16. #16
    Member Andrea Renea's Avatar
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    Welcome Stephanie ...Lots of Great people on this forum.

  17. #17
    Member susanmichelle's Avatar
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    Hello Stephanie Lynn and welcome to the forum, you?ll find so many helpful and honest answers to any and all of your questions. Many of us are older but with age comes experience.

  18. #18
    Member Lisa516's Avatar
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    Welcome! to the forum and have fun.
    As many as 43 percent of all people with gender dysphoria attempt suicide in their lives. dont let yourself become part of that very tragic statistic.
    Balance-Dignity-Acceptance-Responsibility-

  19. #19
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Hi Stephanielynn, another Welcome. I believe you?ll enjoy participating. It appears after 20 years, you?ve opened the door and entered. Sounds like you?ve already set up some goals. Go for it. Have you thought about bringing your wife and kids into your new world?

  20. #20
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    welcome and very common start.

    If it's not possible to tell the wife, I recommend you take up a different pastime for those 2-3 time a month (astro-photography???).
    Finding womens undies in the house or seeing an invisible dot of mascara (my wife and daughters can see those micro-dots of mascara at 20 feet regardless of how often I use make up wipes) on your eyelashes and your in for a massive conversation
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  21. #21
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    There is no "normal" first experience. We're all different. This is yours.
    I began at 5 with Mom's things and went through the hiding period keeping my secret from my wife. Then I couldn't take it anymore and told her everything. Damn the torpedoes Full speed ahead. I got lucky. She was open to listen and learn and became fully accepting.

    Your story has just begun. It's yours to write and how it ends no one knows, not even the author.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  22. #22
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Hi, Stephanie Lynn! Welcome to the forum! There is a lot of knowledge, experience, and opinions here! Make your life easier, tell your wife! The outcome will be much better than if you get caught! YMMV Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  23. #23
    Junior Member Charlotte Sparkle's Avatar
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    Hi Stephanie, welcome to the forum from me.

  24. #24
    Heels Rock! SandyR's Avatar
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    Hello there and welcome to the group I think you will find it to be very helpful I know I have. My story like so many here started at about 12 playing with my moms stuff then I started dating this wonderful woman whom is now my wife of 37 years woohoo! I stopped when our daughter was born in 1991 for about 15 years no desire like a switch just got set to off.......then just as quickly it turned back on and I hid it with all my will I was traveling a lot in those days so it was pretty easy to dress a few days a week then that ended after a few years so on went the hiding game, 2006 she busted and confronted me said deep inside she always knew. It was a rough start she just said "I don't want to know when you dress" Now we have one date night a week just us Girls she has even been to 2 Diva Las Vegas conferences and last year we also took our daughter who is also very accepting. I got lucky. I am not saying or even recommending you take tis approach but merely stating my experience.

    Have fun enjoy and big hug!

    Sandy
    Real Men can Cook in Heels...

  25. #25
    Member susanmichelle's Avatar
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    Hi Stephanie Lynn. Welcome to the forum and all the advice others are giving is correct for their experience?s. Everyone has different things as far as weither it works for each other their wives girlfriends etc. Go slow and do discuss this with your wife is my only advice. Good luck and hope it goes well for you.

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