As others have said. You need to get your wife to go to the therapist too. She needs to hear from some one neutral, how it is. That you probably will always want to dress and that there is likely nothing more to it than that. Right now, you can be fairly sure, she is grabbing info from all sorts of uncontrolled sources and coming to conclusions based on mixed information. You have dropped a bomb on the person she knew. She needs to understand that person is still there, but has a few extra parts to him. You can't tell her that, until some one neutral has talked to her and she understands it is indeed you talking. We only ever saw the therapist once together, but it was worth it's weight in gold for us. Good luck.