Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 46

Thread: Unfortunate update

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    47

    Unfortunate update

    Hello ladies,

    It's been a couple months since i last posted about my current situation, and I appreciate all the support and suggestions that were offered on my last post.

    Since my wife told me that CDing was not going to be allowed at all, we've had our ups and downs. After another heart-to-heart tonight, I fear that my marriage is closer than ever to ending. I don't know that there's anything more i can do to make the situation better. Since our first fateful discussion, I've been honest, humble and supportive of anything and everything she needs. She told me she's not ok with it, and I purged the very limited amount of clothing I had and have not strayed. In being honest with her, I could not tell her that I would never want to dress again. I've told her that staying married to her means more to me than me dressing which only makes her more upset. She's now watching my every move and questions where i am and why i'm there if it happens to not be where i said i'd be.

    I've started seeing a therapist as she requested, which has been helpful both with this issue and many of the other stressors I have in my life.

    If I don't bring the subject up, things seem to go ok. But that's a false positive, as it leads me to believe things are ok, when in actuality, nothing has improved. She told me tonight she gets triggered pretty much every day, whether it's hearing about a transgender person on a tv show, or me saying how soft her new yoga pants are.

    Unfortunately I don't have a set of friends I can trust and have nowhere else to turn to vent, be heard or just chat. I'm lost and don't know how else to deal with our disconnection on this.

    I know i brought this upon myself as i moved too quickly and didn't really consider her feelings or the consequences of my actions. I truly believed that after 18 years of marriage, she'd find a way to at least accept my apology.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Going to seed!
    Posts
    22,483
    Ok…Please stop. Apologies do not have an intrinsic value. Stop blaming yourself for being yourself. No amount of self flagellation will fix things…you cannot punish yourself into a healthy relationship.

    Yes, its possible that your needs and gender identity may not be something your wife can handle. That is ok. She is entitled to not participate, not support this part of you. She is even entitled to feel angry that her life plans have been upset.

    She is not entitled to control your thoughts and needs. You are not obliged subordinate every aspect of yourself to her.

    Simply put, if you are not her cup of tea, then you each should move on.

  3. #3
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    2,108
    Tell her fine and seeing as how she has the problem then she can be the one to move out. Sounds to me like she rules by fear, threatening the relationship is a bona fide jerk move. And also the wrong person is going for therapy here.

  4. #4
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    1,499
    I think it would be helpful if you both went to therapy. If the marriage means anything to both of you after 18 years of it, it's worth putting in the effort. It is wrong for her to assume that 100% of the problem is you, and you have to resolve it OR ELSE. No marriage works like that.

  5. #5
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    1,430
    So you pay to find out why you dress ie root cause. You still need and want to dress. Actually she be happy for you in finding yourself....
    Last edited by mbmeen12; 05-29-2022 at 02:19 AM. Reason: Typo
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  6. #6
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Midlands UK
    Posts
    6,713
    I have to echo other comments. Why is it just you going to therapy?

    The idea that not being a stereotypical male means you're in some way broken and with therapy you can be fixed is outdated thinking. Your wife needs to explore why she finds the idea of your dressing so repugnant, so distasteful. She is the one with the prejudices, the irrational thoughts.

    We can all understand that there's a shock to the system when we reveal ourselves. That however should be a short term thing and more rational thoughts begin to come to the fore.

    I suspect that part of the problem is us. We add to the situation by ourselves feeling guilty, of being outside of societal norms and in some sense that's true. We to suffer from the same drivers that your wife is now exhibiting. She however has to come to the realisation as others have said, that the marriage can't be run by dictate.

    Not seeing you dressed can be understandable but if a way can be found, a DADT compromise, were you can dress say away from the home or she leaves you home alone for a period, then that could be a workable compromise. A flat NO isn't going to work especially if her unfounded suspicions constantly put pressure on you.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2021
    Location
    Merseyside UK
    Posts
    1,003
    Been down the same road as you Britskye. Also had the enforced purge. You cant change the mindset or opinions of your wife. As others have suggested to maintain the status quo DADT, time away at a hotel, underdressing or visiting a dressing service are alternatives. It is difficult but there are ways and means.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    16,404
    I have to ask has your wife spoken to a therapist to get perspective on your situation.

    At the moment it seems as if you are the one who is having to give everything up. A marriage is supposed to be a partnership.

    I am sure she has her own thoughts, but by not at least trying to understand she is not helping either.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  9. #9
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2021
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    1,471
    This is not your fault britskye, , and do not be guilt tripped into thinking that it is by anyone. No need for apologies, you are who you are, and CDing has not changed who you are. If you think couples therapy would help the situation then that is a good thing, but it is not going to do much for your relationship if you are the only one going...the relationship is about both of you. I think she should come to grips with why she feels so strongly about your CDing that she is willing to scuttle all your years and experiences together over it. I can't tell you what to do, but I think it would be a good idea to insist, if she is serious about saving your relationship, she go with you and get to the bottom of her feelings as well; you may both be surprised at what may lie there.
    Last edited by Kris Burton; 05-29-2022 at 05:41 AM.
    www.flickr.com/people/194195593@N05/

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    831
    Wowser! To potentially end an 18 year marriage because her husband has thoughts about and desires to crossdress? I know I should not stereotype or jump to conclusions, but your avatar lists your location as Nebraska, a notoriously conservative center of the Bible Belt. Perhaps your wife has some rather constricted social views? My heart goes out to you. We all deserve to be loved. There is nothing shameful about gender dysphoria. Nancy
    Last edited by NancyJ; 05-29-2022 at 06:56 AM.

  11. #11
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    3,230
    As far as I can tell from your posts, you may have told her about your wanting to dress five or six months ago and purchased one or some nightgowns. It seems that you thought your wife's discussions about CDing and or the nightgowns were a joke. Of course, we don't know the entire situation. Have you been CDing the entire 18 years of marriage? Did she know when you married about that side of you? Did you let her continue to think it was a joke (if that's what happened)? What happened the past 17-1/2 years?

    Anyway, where I'm going with this is.... a few months is really not a long time for a wife to suddenly learn something about her husband that she didn't know previously. If this was the first real communication, she probably not only is surprised but feels duped. It may be good for you to see a therapist and hopefully, you could see if she would join you in therapy. She probably feels the need to vent to someone and rather than vent to you, the therapist who is a neutral party, may be the way to go. I could be wrong but, the way I read all of this is that there has been a lack of communication.

    I don't think many wives would fall all over themselves with acceptance after 18 years of not knowing. Some education about CDing may help, some therapy, some apologies for keeping the secret, and never assume anything is ok when you treat it as a joke but are serious. Don't treat CDing as something to be ashamed of but explain to her what it means TO YOU. It sounds like she is reacting emotionally, hopefully she will get past that stage and start learning. Remain calm and don't act like you did anything wrong other than keep CDing a secret from her from the beginning. I could be way off base because you only joined here in January, 2022, so we don't have a lot to go on.

    Of course, we are hearing only your side, which is very sad story. This is also a very short time span for her to truly understand. Don't assume your marriage is over unless there are other issues besides CDing. Most wives will not want to throw away 18 years if there is hope for a better future. Be patient. Be honest. Be understanding. Be loving. And above all, keep the communication open.
    Last edited by char GG; 05-29-2022 at 06:41 AM.

  12. #12
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Denver, Colorado
    Posts
    1,581
    So sorry to hear about this development. It is hard; been there; done that and lived to tell about it. It is good that you have been honest; I did that after 40 years of marriage where my wife knew nothing. Ten years later our life together is good. She has come to accept who I am and I have adapted to an outwardly moderately normal appearing male who internally is more female-like. Not saying that is what you should anticipate. The fact is we have both changed and adapted in agreeable ways that are not perfect, but are quite comfortably none the less. In my view, right now you both bear fault. You hid the true you, even if it was not for 40 years like I did. That is wrong. But she expects things to stay the same. Ain't gonna happen.

    I agree with most of what has been suggested, but I think the response you should pay the most attention to is Char's. Her perspective is much more likely to be basically similar to what your wife is actually feeling. And right now feelings are more important than facts. And I think that is what my wife felt at first as well.

    That said I also agree with the comments that your wife is being a bit more dictatorial about it all. She should go see a therapist herself, perhaps one she chooses herself. But ultimately, she should relax and join you. The goal should not be to encourage her to accept your needs but to be a part of finding a unique solution that fits both of you - a new equation. It seems to me she does not want things to change in your marriage - that is never going to work. They will and have changed. Now it is a question of adapting to a new situation and that adaptation applies to both of you. A therapist can help you two find that balance.

    Keep in mind therapists usually do not find solutions for you; they help you (and if possible your mate) to find solutions that work for both of you. Don't give up until you have explored the adaptive solutions that will likely be some kind of compromise that is made for the good of the relationship and not for the good of just one side or the other. Change is inevitable, but change for the sake of change is deadly. You both need to recognize that it is not one or the other, but both must change to adapt effectively.

  13. #13
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    France
    Posts
    1,136
    (Char wrote her answer while I was writing mine, I realize that a few points below double hers. Sorry about that).

    Brittany, a few two cents from a guy who went through a similar situation:
    • It takes time. I came out to my wife in October 2019, 36 years into the relation, and she is still under the blow. A few GGs here were kind enough to share their experience in PM, and told me that it would take years. Like seven, ten years. Not seven, ten months.
    • Maybe your wife would benefit of going to therapy. But the thing is: if she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to. She is licking her wounds, and they were not of her own making. She should decide what is best for her (note that you decided for her for the last 18 years).
    • This said, your wife probably needs to speak to someone. It is horrible to have to cope with the reveal alone and not be able to share the distress with anyone. Find someone with whom she can share. For my wife, it was her therapist. She also subscribed to the FAB (Females At Birth) forum here and found a great help there.
    • Don't EVER show yourself in ladies' clothes in front of her. If she hates it, you are killing her image of you, her libido, and she has every right to be super angry. I'm sure you understand that you threw salt in open wounds there.
    • Like someone said in an early response, apologies will only take you so far. It's important to apologize, but you must apologize for the right things (lying to her, breaking the trust, taking out their choices in the process).
    • Once the apologizing is done, talk, talk, talk, and above all, listen, listen, listen (and LEARN).
    • You say your wife is watching your every move. It's obvious that she is confused, and does not trust you. You have broken the trust, like I have too. Ask her how you can mend it.


    In my opinion, you need to restore the communication as soon as possible. Your wife is lost, confused, angry, and obviously miserable. Understand that all of a sudden she is living with a complete stranger. She is probably feeling betrayed and trapped in a future that may not be for her. Tell her that you deeply love her and want to fix this. Push the pause button on the dressing for a few weeks or months, so that you can discuss without her attention constantly reminded to it. And be very patient. If she's angry, she may need to lash out at you. Hear what she has to say, learn how your wife works so you can up your game. Your wife may chose to leave you no matter what you do, because if it's not for her, then it's not. But at least you'll have tried.
    Happy to discuss in PM if you need to. Good luck.
    Last edited by DianeT; 05-29-2022 at 07:12 AM.
    "There's one thing I don't understand. The thing that I don't understand is every [bleep]-ing thing about crossdressing." - The Blimey
    For those who consider telling their SOs, read this fine manual first: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner

  14. #14
    GG Dutchess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Hollywood & Vine
    Posts
    816
    Im with Char and Diane on this one ..
    There is NOTHING wrong with this woman because you went too fast.. she doesn't rule with fear or all the other incorrect comments about her .. NO ONE EVER should be forced to live with this ...you think it will make it better to force/SHAME her into it ??

    OP Im going to be the same way moving forward due to someone going too fast and too over the top/lying constantly and from alot of the attitudes here also ..its been YEARS later and Im just now really facing it and dealing with the personal fallout ..I have way too much anxiety over it like your wife and I get triggered easily just like her .. I was abandoned for it and that was way before the end . I'm just now starting to understand just how badly it affected my self esteem and how I perceive myself and how I think other men see me . NOT saying you do at all but I'm only hearing your side not hers and once trust is broken sometimes you cant get it back.

    The thought she needs therapy because shes not into crossdressing is unreal/gaslighting ..if she feels like it to try to deal with the situation going forward fine but not to change her mind about it .
    If you suggested the CD'ers here go to therapy to change their minds they would have a fit.

    I'm glad your going to deal with stress better ..I see alot of people dress when under stress
    Last edited by Dutchess; 05-29-2022 at 08:06 AM.
    IG : Knightress Oxide

  15. #15
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    47
    thanks to everyone for all the replies.

    she has now admitted that she wants to see a therapist as well. I never told her she needed to, but after seeing me going to one, she's come the realization that it may be the best way for her to talk about things.

    I've learned many a lesson over the last few months, and i know that my wife doesn't have to ever accept me as a CD. I can only hope that someday she will. My request to her last night was for her to find a way to communicate with me. In general, she has no issues with the LGBTQ community. She's admitted she's overly concerned that it means more than it does and my reassurance that i'm not gay and don't want to transition aren't helping her. I understand her concerns and why she's struggling. I want her to be happy. And I know this isn't something that she's going to just all of a sudden be ok with, as many of you suggested, this could take years. I've told her that I will fight for us, but in the end, if it is too much for her, I would accept her decision.

    I have not offered a DADT option or me dressing when i travel for work. I'd like to present that as an option, but until i've repaired some of the trust, I can't see how offering those would help the situation.

  16. #16
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    13,562
    I have not read all the answers before posting. Unless your wife goes to counseling your marriage is definitely doomed. Going to counseling does not mean all will be rosy or your marriage will be saved, but, without counseling your marriage will become a living hell. You have not offered any details or information concerning your wife. If she is ready to go off the cliff when any transgender is brought up by outside stimuli, such as news reports on the television, there is some deep seated revulsion for people not like her. She has definitely fabricated a mental image of transgender men and women that is not favorable.

    "She's now watching my every move and questions where I am and why I'm there if it happens to not be where I said I'd be" sounds like you have a monitoring ankle bracelet on you. This is not marriage; it is prison. Personally, I'd get a hacksaw and be free. Don't cower in a corner. If she wants to mold you into something she wants and totally rejects this small part of you, I wonder how she would react if you asserted yourself.

    Question, what has your therapist said about you and your wife's reaction that has been helpful?

    ADDED: I was keyboarding as you were posting. It does not change my opinion. If it is a deal breaker for her, so be it!
    Last edited by Stephanie47; 05-29-2022 at 10:02 AM.

  17. #17
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    47
    Stephanie,

    My therapist has suggested many of the same offerings i've seen on this particular thread and many others like it (DADT, travel only, etc). The part of my wife watching my every move is brand new from last night. We use an app to see where our kids are, so it also has myself and my wife on there. I stopped at another business last week to pick up some things for work and didn't tell her. Due to the part of town it was in and her not knowing that business, she brought it up yesterday suggesting that she's not trusting me if she doesn't know where i am and/or why i'm there. She reiterated that her concerns are that being CD is because she thinks it will lead to me coming out as gay or wanting to transition, etc. So my therapist doesn't know that portion yet and due to holidays, unfortunately i may not see her again til after the 4th of july.

    Very possible I blew that part out of proportion, but it disturbed me enough to post it here, and i defended myself on that in our discussion last night.

    i'm trying very hard to give her the benefit of the doubt, but as the days and discussions continue, I'm becoming more and more accepting to the growing likelihood that there may not be any coming back from this. If our kids weren't part of the discussion, maybe this divorce concern wouldn't be so terrifying.

  18. #18
    Member TAG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2022
    Posts
    261
    I would ask her to join you at therapy because she needs it.
    I think she is more worried about what people will think of her being married to a CDer if it ever gets out.
    The wanting to know where you are at all times shows she has lost trust in you.
    My first ex acted the same way when she had started cheating on me. Had to know my every move but as I found out it was so she didn't get caught sleeping with my friends and best friend and other guys. And in our bed.
    I'm not saying yours is doing that but if something else is happening you will be the last to know.
    We had been married 15 years btw.

  19. #19
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    NEPA
    Posts
    9,819
    Many years ago my wife uncovered my dressing.
    I swore it would end, but we all know how that song goes. Fast forward some 25 years and I've had enough. I can't hide any longer and I decide as you did to bite the bullet.
    I told her "we have a problem". I spilled my guts and let the chips fall where they may. I had to be me and that was that. If it was the end of the marriage I was prepared to move on albeit reluctantly. But I had to be me.

    I got lucky, but I could not allow myself to be unhappy, miserable in fact, by denying who I am. And I could not allow someone else to dictate my happiness and who I am.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  20. #20
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    47
    Quote Originally Posted by TAG View Post
    I would ask her to join you at therapy because she needs it.
    I think she is more worried about what people will think of her being married to a CDer if it ever gets out.
    The wanting to know where you are at all times shows she has lost trust in you.
    My first ex acted the same way when she had started cheating on me. Had to know my every move but as I found out it was so she didn't get caught sleeping with my friends and best friend and other guys. And in our bed.
    I'm not saying yours is doing that but if something else is happening you will be the last to know.
    We had been married 15 years btw.
    I've made the suggestion about couples therapy. she'd like to try therapy on her own first and i'm ok with that.
    i agree that part of her issues with it is how it may affect her if it ever became public knowledge. i'm terrified of that as well. While I work with several progressive people, the ownership team of the company i work for is not, and the field i'm in, this public knowledge would likely be an immediate issue.

    sorry about how you found out about your ex. I feel pretty safe that's not the issue here

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member Fiona_44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Posts
    623
    Just remember that you are not doing anything wrong by dressing. Yes you are doing something outside of society's norms but people do many things outside of society's norms but that doesn't have to make them guilt-ridden, bad people. Personally, I believe the best thing will be for you both to go to therapy together as a form of marriage counseling to work through this. Individual therapy can certainly have many benefits but will not change who you are or who your wife is. Couples therapy can help both of you learn more about each others feelings & fears and help you adapt to a "new normal".
    YOLO

  22. #22
    Junior Member vplshowoff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    98
    I agree that she needs to see a counselor. The counselor will educate her on LGBT topics and the latest psychiatric views on crossdressing.

    You wrote - "In general, she has no issues with the LGBTQ community." That's a red flag that says she is a NIMBY.

    Also, "She told me tonight she gets triggered pretty much every day, whether it's hearing about a transgender person on a tv show, or me saying how soft her new yoga pants are." This paints an almost hopeless situation. She'll be triggered many times a day.

    Hopefully, a counselor can get through to her about the new realities of LGBT topics. The counselor will likely tell her many facts that you've been telling her. Your wife may listen to a 3rd party that is expert with LGBT issues.

  23. #23
    Member Marissa Q's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2021
    Location
    SF Bay Area, CA (US)
    Posts
    214
    You seem to be an intuitive and thoughtful person, britskye, and also sensitive to your wife's predicament. But your wife's close proximity to you for years has granted her an equally strong intuition about any future actions you may take, based on your personal track record of behavior (which, truth be told, we have little idea of).

    At this juncture, I think it's more important than ever that you realize how absolutely vulnerable she's feeling right now, and how her own intuitive processes are screaming alarm. She's likely wondering how it can be worth it, to lose your wife/family, in order to wear silk lingerie or panties or bras. I'm sorry to say it, but that's the way it's commonly interpreted. Like many women, she's going to see it as extremely bizarre, and very male in its sexual preoccupation. And, unfortunately, she is now thinking that staying in a relationship with you is going to cost her dearly, with a rapid demotion of her own needs and the validity and importance of her sensitivities and feelings against yours.

    Think well on this: if the cost of keeping the relationship going will require the use of intellectual dissimulation, word salads and lying to avoid speaking about your real goals and drives, kindly cut her loose and save her proverbial soul as well as your own. You have a right to be happy in all things including exploring your own femininity. But never at the cost of obfuscating or denying any further actions you're going to take down that road.

    As for therapy, YMMV. It can be a very insightful experience, but it can also become an extension by which validation is achieved through continued falsehood. Many in therapy never quite get to the root of anything and it simply becomes a war for validation; and, in war, all becomes fair and the falsehoods flow unabated. This goes for you as well as your wife.

    I wish you luck and hope for the best. But you've seen this day coming for likely longer than you might care to admit, and the cost for that lack of transparency from the outset will be pain for both of you.

  24. #24
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    1,499
    britskye, you've noted about being able to track the whole family on your phones. Our family does the same thing. You might present it to her this way; you can always turn off location sharing on your phone. The fact that you aren't means you are being fully transparent to her, and are not hiding ANYthing. If you were trying to hide it, if there was a reason to not trust you, you'd just turn off location sharing temporarily while you made your jaunt to do something CD related.

    As for public discovery; ok yeah there's a chance of that. I personally am very, very protective of my family. Thus, CDing is not something I am going to allow to affect my family. I'm in my 50s now, and have never been discovered by anyone whom I know or who can possibly affect my job or my social circles. It does require careful decision making, but it's not that much of a burden to keep it hidden from public. It really isn't. I would venture to guess that a majority of us on this forum have kept this secret as well.

    I concur with vplshowoff; it sounds like she's a NIMBY (not in my back yard) person when it comes to LGBTQ issues. Many people are. That doesn't make them wrong. You can accept many things that don't directly affect you. But, when it does directly affect you it can be far more difficult, or even impossible, to handle that. Sexual attraction, for example, can be a dicey thing. There's a person on this forum who noted recently about how his wife, upon seeing him dressed, couldn't unsee it and had lost sexual attraction for him. This isn't about being open minded or not. We each have what we are attracted to.

    Something else to consider; you are who you are. CDing is part of you. Your wife married YOU. That includes CDing. Maybe she didn't know about it, but she fell in love with the person you are, which includes CDing. My own wife notes that she benefits from these aspects of me, sometimes in ways she doesn't even immediately realize.

  25. #25
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    47
    Julie, the phone app discussion is one i'm holding in my pocket, but trying to avoid as it could also lead to "so you've been thinking about it" types of discussions.

    as for my wife, we're both pretty progressive. she has no problem with LGBTQ, so long as it doesn't include me. i firmly believe if either of our kids came out, she'd be 100% ok. instead of NIMBY, prob more like NIMB (not in my bedroom). your other mention of the wife who saw her CD husband could have been a previous post by me as that's exactly what happened just prior to my previous post in March.

    She was upset still that I'd never mentioned this prior to this discussion over the last few months. My response has been that yes, i have occasionally on a very limited basis dabbled in wearing women's clothing previously. However, prior to about 10 months ago, i'd never considered myself a crossdresser and thus never associated the term to myself. Previously i always looked at it as this weird fetish or phase that i went through. I'm hoping that at some point she does realize that this is part of who i am and always have been. I may be foolishly convincing myself there's a chance, but it is one of the few things i can still hold onto..... for now.

    again, i thank everyone for your comments. i have a small advantage by being part of this community, without you all, i'd be sitting on my couch stressing more than i need to. Your comments and advice are appreciated more than you know. I've suggested she find a community that offers groups where family members of CDers can talk. to the best of my knowledge she's thus far been unwilling to look anything up. While yesterday's discussion was hard, i know it was necessary and even though it felt severely negative in whole, there were still some positives there. lingering threads of positivity that may be enough for us to repair our relationship

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State