Sometimes I wonder if only things could have been different in my life. I have posted about plenty out my outings at clubs. I went clubbing again tonight, and it was a lot of fun as typical but does have me pondering something.
I was dancing with several women after the drag show, and I was tapped on the shoulder by another woman who wanted to dance with me. I turned and we danced a while and it became somewhat physical. Not really sexual , but leaning toward the suggestive side - all her doing I might add. After we finished dancing she wanted my phone number and told me she loved me. Weird because that is not the first time I heard that after only a brief interaction. I am spoken for and only there for some fun, but it did have me thinking about what it would be like to be married to someone as accepting as this woman.
There have been a number of posts about cheating lately. Personally, despite the fact I am out dancing with women one third my age and behind my wife?s back, I do NOT consider it cheating in the classic sense. The whole concept of crossdressing itself as cheating is distasteful to me. In my case, it would never have happened if she could have just thrown me a small bone, but it was not to be.
Of course I can hear my wife saying - oh so it is all my fault. No, I take ownership of what I do. I just do not understand why after 3 plus decades, the trust bonds are not strong enough to withstand even the smallest amount of crossdressing in private. So I do this in secret for the sole reason of conflict avoidance. I wish things could be different, but I have to admit that I have had experiences that many could only dream of. I should count my blessings but still ponder what could have been.
Just my thoughts at 3 AM.
Sandi
