Before I went out on my Friday night drive my wife asked to see what I was wearing, she wants me to dress decent in case of a car accident or getting pulled over by police or for whatever reason I have to get out of the car. She knows at times my hormones do the dressing and she doesn't like me to present inappropriate.
Last night we were enjoying a bottle of wine in the yard and my wife asked me if I looked into that social group that I mentioned to her a few weeks back, with my wife when you mention something to her its like planting a seed in her head and it will grow. Just to brief you in, a few weeks ago I mentioned how she felt if I looked into a social group who has small intimate dinners in our city.
I could tell by the look on her face she has been really thinking about it, she told me that on Friday night I looked great and I've come a long way and I'm getting more and more complete, "BUT". All the makeup and as much clothing and wigs can't change genetics, she told me that I'm tall and I'm going to stand out in public, am I ready and head strong enough to maybe get that second not so exceptiing look or maybe a negative gesture told me.
I could see I'm really putting a lot on her plate this time and how her main argument is she's worried about my safety and doesn't want me to get hurt.
When I told her about this I turned to this great community for advice and the best response and amazing suggestion from most was to find out where the next event was for that social group and go there for dinner me and my wife and just observe what's it's all about instead of just throwing myself into the fire.
She then tells me that I will be putting myself at more risk, the risk of being seen and am I not going to be talking about my personal life at these events. I'm not going to keep going on what she said I don't want to bore you all but it was a lot about how I felt presenting myself as a women in public and we should prepare how to approach the children in case.
I was glad we were having this conversation because she was telling me things I've never thought about and its alway nice to talk openly and I could tell she has really been thinking about it. She then mentioned that maybe we should involve her sister since she has been lurking around and if we all remember she seen me dressed in the background of a FaceTime call.
She told me maybe her sister will complete me more with maybe someone from the outside giving there input of what we don't see, I then realized this was larger then life to my wife. Asking her sister is to help her, I think she has nobody to discuss this and maybe feeling alone and is second guessing herself.
At this point I'm now feeling bad that I'm putting this on her and not blaming the women who want the DADT relationships, there probably better off not dealing with this stuff.
I told her to relax and just by me not looking into the social group must mean I'm not even interested that much into it. I told her I'm more then happy where I am now and I've already over achieved what I thought I would be at these point of my life and I owe it all to her. I told her to stop thinking about it and concentrate on her children and grandchildren that's what's important.
I don't know what it is about a women when they become wives and mothers but they really put themselves second and will do anything for the happiness and fulfillment for there family. As much as she says she enjoys sharing this part of me I also feel bad that I'm making her deal with this.