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Thread: Do your confidants talk to others about you?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Jenn A116's Avatar
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    Do your confidants talk to others about you?

    Well, Not really an accurate title for the question I'm trying to ask.

    I've recently come out to a very, very good GG friend. She and Jenn exchange "girl talk" texts regularly. My wife and I are very good friends with her and her husband. It took me a long time to decide if I would tell her about Jenn and in the end I believe I made the correct decision about her character.

    Now to the question: Do you think the people that you've come out to talk about people like us (generally, not necessarily you specifically) with their friends? Do you think that they may be wondering how many of their friends have any experience with other CD's?

    Yes, I intend to ask my friend the same question (hopefully more eloquently) next time we have a girl talk session. Just curious about others experiences.
    Jenn A --- nothing fancy, just me.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    Yes, I think most people love to share so called juicy topics, and would have a hard time keeping such information to themselves. I have often pondered telling women friends about Nancy or even encouraging my wife to seek support from her best women friends about me. But, I have always concluded that it is best not to share. Too many times people have told me something by prefacing it I AM REALLY NOT SUPPOSED TO SHARE THIS, BUT…..
    Last edited by NancyJ; 06-06-2022 at 09:39 AM.

  3. #3
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I do not think any of my confidants will share without asking me first

  4. #4
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    Around the time when my wife and I were going through a rough patch after "The Talk", circa 1983 my wife may have let it slip that I was a cross dresser. One of her complaints was she had nobody to confide in. Years later, she told me "it" may have come up in a conversation with her female cousin. If my wife did say something her cousin never gave me the impression she knew I was a cross dresser.

    Several years before my wife and her cousin had that conversation, her cousin sat at our kitchen table and talked about one of the cousin's co-workers and her husband. Turned out the couple lived a couple of houses down the block from us. The wife was in the process of divorcing her husband because she discovered he was a cross dresser. The couple had plans to build their dream home on a corner lot in our neighborhood. She dropped her husband like a hot potato. From the conversation I got the impression the worst thing that could ever happen was such a discovery. They filleted the guy like you would fillet a fish. "OMG, she's married to a cross dresser!" When my wife and I did have "The Talk," I asked her if she remembered her conversation with her cousin. She told me, no, which may have been truthful. I told her, given the way she and her cousin talked about "the cross dresser down the block," why would I just come out to her?

    Now? My wife and I sometimes have conversations concerning the political divide that is happening around the country towards transgender person and gays and lesbians. One of my wife's close friends who I know is a married lesbian and her friend is fearful the way the political conversation is headed.

  5. #5
    Avatar is FaceAp enhanced Mary Loo's Avatar
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    I have no confidants other than my wife and this board. I know my wife is scared that somebody would find out and judge her, so I highly doubt she would share with anyone (which is kind of a problem, because I think we would both benefit if she were to discuss things with somebody else, instead of having to share the burden of my secret).

    On the other hand, there is VERY LITTLE my wife and I don’t share with each other. I at least know there is very little I have kept from her and I highly suspect it is reciprocal. My point being is telling any confidant is very likely telling the confidant’s spouse or SO as well. Then it doubles the chance it can get out.

    With all that said, it seemingly would be very nice to have other confidants and especially GGs.
    Last edited by Di; 06-06-2022 at 10:20 AM. Reason: Removed a banned word

  6. #6
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    My confidant was my mother and she told no one. When my wife found out she was very upset. She told me she felt too ashamed and embarrassed to confide in anyone. That was her complaint before she ordered me to purge.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    My wife is my only confidant on CD matters (other than this board of course) and I know she hasn't shared anything with anyone else. Should I come out to anyone else other than her. I would be very careful about who it is, or would be in a position which it no longer mattered if anyone found out (I'm getting close to that on a personal level, but I digress) . I think its human nature to want to share "juicy topics" as NancyJ puts it, especially when dealing with things of a sexual nature. Plus, I've noticed that when a persons sexual proclivities are known to be outside of what is considered the norm, it always comes up in conversation somehow.

  8. #8
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    Right now, my closest confidante is a long-ago GF. She is polyamorous, so she shares that and I share my travails. We do not mention this to others, just that we are friends.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member
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    For the most part, I honestly do not know. I have one very close friend who talks about me with her family?she asked me if it was ok and I said, of course.

  10. #10
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    One GG friend of mine who knows about Gale mentioned this side of my personality to a former work colleague. Apparently, she was gobsmacked. Our paths have not crossed for many years, so I have no idea how many others know about me.

  11. #11
    Just being true to myself Jolene Robertson's Avatar
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    Once the Genie is out of the bottle you can't put it back in. My wife was the first to know and she keeps it pretty quiet but I told her if she needed to confide in some of her friends it's her choice, she has told 2 of them and I don't believe either has mentioned it to anyone else but I don't know. I have only told 2 other people one being my youngest daughter who asked if she could tell her husband ( that's to be expected ) no problems there and I know they have kept it on the DL. The other friend told her wife and mother and brother and daughter, so who knows who all they have told?? I've never gotten any rumors back so it's all cool I guess, it's the chance you take when you share it. If you are worried about it keep it to your self because you can't control what others do once they know. The thing is you just never know.

  12. #12
    Stockings and heels girl Linda Stockings's Avatar
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    I believe my one-time GG secretary/confidant/friend, did indeed tell others about it, but I'm not sure who. I think it was to my wife, if no one else. That was after she saw me dressed and suggested ways to improve my makeup and choices in clothes, telling me what worked for daytime, which of my heels were only meant for nighttime, etc.

    Thanks, Linda

  13. #13
    Member Denice's Avatar
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    If people are talking about me... at least it's an intelligent conversation.
    I'm a man. I like being a man. I also love wearing women's clothing. It's my way to show honor, respect and solidarity with them.

  14. #14
    Member JuliannaS's Avatar
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    I wouldn't be surprised if my gf told people.
    Julianna Frances

  15. #15
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    The only people who know I'm a crossdresser, other than you lovely ladies, is my wife. She keeps that information close to the vest.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  16. #16
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    The only people that know about Camille are my wife, my counselor, and this forum. I know my wife has not told anyone because she has mentioned at times how isolated she feels sometimes knowing this about me. I have told her that she doesn?t need my blessings to talk about it with someone, but she does not seem to be ready for that. I personally am sick of hiding and caring what people think of me. But I know that this kind of thing effects more people than just me, so I have to think about those people also.

  17. #17
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alwayshave View Post
    The only people who know I'm a crossdresser, other than you lovely ladies, is my wife. She keeps that information close to the vest.
    How could you forget about me and all the girls in the Meetup group?
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member Fiona_44's Avatar
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    The only 2 people who know about Fiona so far have told me they will not tell anyone else without first asking my permission. I plan to tell another 4 or 5 people in the future and will ask them to do the same. They are all good people and I have every confidence they will do so. I have other friends who I know can't keep secrets and they will never be told.
    YOLO

  19. #19
    Happy Halloween! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    No!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  20. #20
    Claire M Claire M's Avatar
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    Back to the original question, I think that because transgender is a very visible topic, I'm sure that trans and crossdressing comes up in conversation with just about everybody at some point these days. I know that when the conversation heads in that direction I get a tinge down my spine wondering where things will go and might I (accidentally) out myself. I would hope that people who know about me would respect my privacy in a general conversation ... but you never know!!!

    Sorry Jenn if the wording of my answer seems a qwarky as your question!

  21. #21
    ☁️☁️☁️☁️⛅️☁️✈️☁️☁️☁️ ☁️ Patience's Avatar
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    It seems like everybody is talking about people like us nowadays, although I believe some of the people doing most of the talking have had little to no contact to speak of and talk about us more in some kind of abstract sense, combined with whatever dogma they were raised to believe in.
    ...throw off those chains of Reason and your prison disappears...

  22. #22
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi View Post
    How could you forget about me and all the girls in the Meetup group?
    Steffi, you are one of the lovely ladies I was referring to.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  23. #23
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    My wife does not care to talk about CDing but she has said in the past that one of the issues she has is that she has no one to talk to about this. She knows about this site, that is another story, so I mentioned about the FAB forum and she could talk to others about this. She dismissed it immediately without a second of thought.
    Crissy

  24. #24
    Senior Member Jenn A116's Avatar
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    Just looping back on this one. The GG I confided in a few months ago has not mentioned it to anybody. On the broader question asking her if any of her friends have ever mentioned any exposure to CD'ing (not Drag) she said no on that one too.
    Jenn A --- nothing fancy, just me.

  25. #25
    Just another 'Gurl' Kitty Sue's Avatar
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    Would not surprise if some of the people I have told have passed on the information to others. Oh well
    Just another man in a dress

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