How Parents can handle crossdressing?

[marieclaire]

Yes, this is a big taboo that still exists, and I believe that the way to deal with it will vary according to age and circumstance.

The curiosity of children is one of their main characteristics. So, it is common for boys to play with dolls and girls to play with a ball or a cart. Parents or guardians are more inclined to set boundaries for conforming to societal acceptance.

Regarding clothing, some girls like a more stripped-down style: pants or shorts instead of skirts and shirts instead of dresses. In general, society is not bothered by this, accepting it as normal. In many cases, they may wear skirts and dresses when they grow up.

And yet... there are boys that are curious about wearing dresses and skirts... but this is still taboo.

The DSM-V, a manual that lists mental illnesses and disorders, defines "gender dysphoria" and does indicate that on average for every ten children who (at some point) did not identify with their biological sex, more than half of them will identify with their biological sex as they reach adolescence or move into adulthood.
We go through puberty. This biological process moves our transition from childhood to adolescence. It is the process that begins to accentuate the differences between boys and girls.

The boys gain muscle, beard growth, and a thick voice. Girls start to have a more defined waist, watch their hips grow, discover physical changes, and experience breast development.

Hormones are responsible for these physical changes and also for the behavioral changes of boys and girls. During the transition, the accentuation of differences changes the way in which boys and girls see one another.

Personally, I remember at age 12 noticing the girls at school started wearing bras. I was curious and decided to try my sister's bra. I got dressed and enjoyed the experience. Sometimes, I went to school wearing a bra.

Interestingly, my curiosity at the time about girl's clothing was limited to bras. It would be later that my curiosity expanded to panties and other items...
And... what if my sister or my parents had discovered my bra-wearing? How would they have reacted?

I can relate this to how I might react if I were to have a son and then discover he is wearing his sister's or mother's bra, or that he wants to wear dresses and other girl's clothing... First, I would try to find out why he wanted to do so and follow an approach that would vary based on their age.

If he really wanted to try it on, I wouldn't mind. I would consider buying a dress, panties, or even a bra for him if that is what he wanted. I would not encourage him, but I also wouldn't try to suppress his stated desires.

There might need to be boundaries put in place to protect him. He would have to understand that society is (not yet) ready to understand certain taboos. I think it is more important that he has his own clothes and does not resort to sneaking items from his mother or sisters. Even though many sisters of similar age and size share their dresses.

There are some reports of mothers who put their children in dresses as a way to discipline them. I don't know if that makes sense, although I can see how the experience might help boys to be less macho in the future.

I don't want my sons or daughters to be suppressed, as I suppressed myself. I will not scold them if they want to wear something different, just as I won't encourage them. I will support their choices. I believe that having gone through this myself will allow me to have more empathy and make it easier to deal with it. I think this is true for our generation now as compared to our parents or grandparents, for example.

It is important to remember that each case is different and that the child's age must be considered, he cannot do something that does not match his age. There needs to be respect so that it may run its course correctly in all aspects.

It should be noted that in most cases, boys and girls who try on clothes of the opposite sex are just participating in childish curiosity - and this desire soon disappears. Only a small part of those cases become linked to the practice of crossdressing or transsexuality.

Did you start crossdressing at a young age? Did your parents know? How did they handle it?

What would you do if your sons or daughters liked to crossdress?

[Geena75]

Parents want to impart on their children their views, which are based on their own experiences. My parents would have been so disappointed in me if they knew about my 'peculiar pastime' and would have let me know in no uncertain terms that it must stop. That being based on growing up rural in pre-WWII in very traditional, conservative homes.

Had my son showed signs of interest in this, I would not have slammed the door, but would have cautioned him severely on where it might go, and so forth (this is not a thread to air out all my personal views on the subject, anyway). The goal would be to help him understand what he is feeling and options he may have.

[Tracy Irving]

When I was very young my mother found a couple pair of her panties under my bed. She took them back and never said a word about it.

As a crossdresser myself, I would have more sympathy for my son had he chosen that route. I can see where other parents would not.

[Heather76]

This is a difficult discussion to address. Knowing what I now know, I would caution my son about crossdressing and the stigma that can come with it. However, I would not prohibit it at home if that's what he wanted to do. Depending upon his inner strength, I may prohibit it in public and I may not. That said, when my children were growing up I didn't know what I know now. Back then I would have simply not allowed crossdressing at any time. I was quite narrow minded in those days. I have grown in my views which is a good thing.

[Debbie Denier]

Parents found my stash 40yrs ago . Father could not handle it never said a word . My mother had the talk with me. Put it down to a growing up phase.She initially told my father the clothing belonged to her. But the size 9 stilettos gave the game away.My mother found some tights/ pantyhose in my bedroom a few years before. When challenged I told her they were for a fancy dress party. She confiscated them . I came out to her 28 yrs later . She accepted me and allowed me to dress at her home where I kept a fem wardrobe. Think I would be sympathetic if I had a son based on my experience.

[alwayshave]

I have three daughters, so never faced the issue. However, if I had sons I know I would have been supportive if crossdressing came up as an issue. I would not want him/her to have to hide like I did.

[countrygirl]

While I have no children of my own, if I did they would be totally supported and they would be able to wear a dress or skirt or pants or whatever makes them feel better about themselves. Because I just want them happy. That is all I want. I know how much of a struggle it is growing up not understanding why do I feel this need to wear a dress. So providing the supportive environment is critical to their well-being. If they come home with a same sex partner it is a non issue. As long as they are happy.

[JackieD]

I really don?t know what a parent can do, first. They know they can?t stop it, it?s just going underground.
Second. Saying it?s OK and buying there son panties and other clothes. May just May not be in there roundhouse. Just can?t go it.
That leaves three. Just live with it. Knowing there stuff is being used Understanding saying nothing is better then dealing with it,
I guest especially years ago. Just knowing and doing nothing was the easy answer.

[Karren H]

I started when I was 7. And think my mother finally figured it out but never really said anything. I was a good hider. Our son is gay and so was his partner, so we thought. He is now transitioning and wears feminine clothing full time. So after the transition is complete does that make my son straight? Confusing!