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Thread: Narcissistic

  1. #1
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Narcissistic

    Narcissist, The definition is a person who has excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.
    Do you think that we as a crossdressing community this is something that may apply to us?
    What say you?
    Last edited by Crissy 107; 06-18-2022 at 09:48 PM.
    Crissy

  2. #2
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    It seems many crossdressers have a lot of difficulty with guilt and shame feelings, so I would think it would not apply to that portion of our population. For those of us who have moved beyond the guilt, I suppose it might apply to some. I do like being admired by others, but I do not look in the mirror in admiration, so I probably think it is not the case for me at least.

    Sandi

  3. #3
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    Don't think so as too many get a charge from thinking they can sense emotions and deal with emotions as a woman. Narcissistic people are like sociopaths and one Me-I matters, people on this site are craving emotional feedback that they are part of a group larger than Me-Myself-and-I. There would be more narsissists in the drag queen box.

  4. #4
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    No but casting a broad net you will get occasional narcissistic....
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  5. #5
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
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    I don't think it applies. It certainly does not come across on this forum. There is a selfish eliment to cross dressing, but that is only natural I feel.

  6. #6
    Senior Member dawnmarrie1961's Avatar
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    As human beings we are all full of ourselves at times. Some more than others.
    Sometimes you just have to be
    GENERIC

  7. #7
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SirDonna View Post
    Narcissistic people are like sociopaths and one Me-I matters, people on this site are craving emotional feedback that they are part of a group larger than Me-Myself-and-I.
    I think this is a better definition. Let us not confuse garden variety vanity with this aspect of narcissism. All of us like to look good, create a pleasing image to the world and to ourselves, and receive positive feedback from others. We might admire the image we have created - an artist always stands back and admires his/her work - but it does not mean necessarily that it extends to the "I am the only one that matters" level that Donna describes. I think that is coming from a different psychological place.

  8. #8
    Non-Binary Member Krea's Avatar
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    There are many narcissistic people in society.
    It certainly isn't exclusive to TG/NB people....
    "The only way is onward. There is no turning back."

  9. #9
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Interesting question Crissy.
    We have the best members here.
    If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.

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  10. #10
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    There doesn't seem to be any positive aspects of being a narcissist! I have some narcissistic traits. I've loved seeing myself in the mirror "in women's clothing" ever since I can remember. I don't have the traits of intimidating others or needing constant praise and attention. But I seem to have problems with relationships. Hey, nobody's perfect...
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  11. #11
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    I will defer to others to discuss pathological narcissism as a diagnosis. As a behavior, I would say it is something manifest by almost all humans to lessor greater degrees. Even in small measures it can be harmful to ourselves and our relationships with others.

  12. #12
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I suspect narcissism has about the same rate of occurrence in our community as in the general population. But I also believe that many in the public has no knowledge of how to recognize a narcissistic person. It is a very complex behavior pattern that can be confused with a great many other behaviors. When a person lives in a society that generally does not allow males to be feminine or female-like but at the same time allows women to be male-like if they wish a lot of grief is going to be lowered on to the heads of males that deviate from the rules. Fortunately, that belief is in the process of changing as was attempted back in the 1600's. That attempt at gender equality and acceptance of differences failed and this one might as well.

    Trying to be and appear like the person you are in terms of your natural behavioral orientation is not narcissism. It is adaptation.

  13. #13
    Member Joanne108's Avatar
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    Only to the point where I am putting on my makeup! After that not at all!

  14. #14
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I don't think it applies to us any more than anyone else.
    If you think it's true because we are concerned with our image and appearance then perhaps, but isn't the majority in that category.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Fiona_44's Avatar
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    There are a very large number of elements that go into the process of a man trying to look like a woman, some of them very challenging. Because of that, I think it is only natural that CD's take more of an interest in how they look. They need affirmation that they're going in the right direction with clothing, make-up, mannerisms ...etc. To me that is unlike the traditional narcissistic - "I'm the only thing that matters, none of you do" or "I'm always right, you're always wrong".
    YOLO

  16. #16
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I think the popularity of taking selfies shared by many cell phone owners - suggests narcissism is pretty common

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
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    Even in psychological literature there is a great deal of variation in describing narcissism that is a normal part of human behavior, and narcissism as a pathology. I think that the traditional social taboo against cross dressing, causes many of us to become introverted or a little self obsessed, but I don't think that in most cases it rises to the point of pathological narcissism.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  18. #18
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    Personally, I have always been a bit Narcissist... to a fault at times.

    My mom thought there was something wrong with me but it turned out out that I had a high IQ. I only mention that as it is relevant.
    Admittedly, there was a bit of "Sheldon Cooper" in me when I was younger .... until i finally realized it that people do not like it ....as Sheldon's mom told him.

    i think the better question should be are we exhibitionist as it pertains to (classy) female clothes?
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 06-19-2022 at 05:10 PM. Reason: spelling

  19. #19
    Member TAG's Avatar
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    If you want to see some bad cases of narcissistic personality disorder just go on You tube.
    Narcissism seems to be accepted these days on you tube.
    People create YT channels for the expressed reason to talk about themselves and what they feel or what they think.
    I have a friend that is very wealthy and he collects expensive cars. When he buys a new one he makes a video about it and what he paid for it.
    To me that is narcissism because he is trying to impress people by showing his wealth.
    In person all he does is talk about himself and yes I have mentioned to him more than a few times.
    He did tell me his childhood home life wasn't great.
    His parents were extremely wealthy and shipped him off to expensive boarding academies so there wasn't much love in a family sense.
    I feel sorry for him in a way that he has so much as far as homes, cars and money but no wife or kids to share it with.
    He is just lonely and uses his you tube channel to feel important. His parents never showed him love basically.
    I love the guy but he has issues I can't help him with.

  20. #20
    Member Marissa Q's Avatar
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    There are a lot of folks I admire in this thread and they make some great statements. I also agree that just about everyone on Earth has some narcissistic behavior, dependent upon time and circumstance. However, I'd like to state that many of the posts in this thread are interpreting narcissism as a rather simple view of selfhood, or of the vanity associated with the mirror. The more prevalent narcissistic qualities are exhibited in relation to others, especially loved ones or SOs/wives/partners. To wit, narcissistic behavior most often includes:

    • Superficial and exploitative relationships (i.e., people are only valued only to the extent they are viewed as beneficial)
    • Lack of empathy (i.e., severely limited or totally lacking ability to care about the emotional needs or experiences of others, even loved ones)
    • Chronic feelings of emptiness and boredom (i.e., when attention and praise are not available, narcisissists feel empty, bored, depressed, or restless)
    • Vulnerability to life transitions (i.e., difficulty maintaining reality-based personal and professional goals over time; compromises required by school, jobs, and relationships may feel unbearable)


    If we're truly examining ourselves for narcissistic tendencies, we should review our closest relationships as well as the perspectives of those individuals most affected by our behaviors.

    1. Am I a narcissist if I look in the mirror a lot? Perhaps.
    2. Am I a narcissist if I insist my wife climb on board knowing there's no possible way out for her due to social/financial constraints? Well... that "perhaps" might just veer a bit more towards a "yes".

    Objective self-awareness is a quality that strengthens understanding and is never something to be avoided. Peer into that place where you dare not look and you just might find your wife/SO staring back at you!

  21. #21
    Member Mermaiden's Avatar
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    I?m going with ?nope?. Self awareness and introspection are healthy.

  22. #22
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Can not speak for others but I most likely am borderline! Add that to my numerous and growing number of obsessions.
    Last edited by Karren Hutton; 06-20-2022 at 05:59 AM.

  23. #23
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone so far! I appreciate all of the answers and the different POVs.
    Crissy

  24. #24
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Very good Marissa. I was going to post those characteristics this morning, but you beat me to it. I will add this.

    Narcissistic behavior can be good or bad. The good form is involved in developing a person's self esteem and a belief in yourself as being capable of doing some things that produce a view of you as being competent. But then some cross the line and enter the world where the narcissistic behavior becomes damaging.

    This is where a person has Narcissistic Personality Disorder which can be thought of as the extreme forms of the personality characteristics that are in your list. And beyond that is a narcissistic pathology where the person enters a kind of fantasy world about themselves and expects everybody to praise them, glorify them, recognize that they are so competent and capable that they know the secrets to the Universe, so to speak, and therefore everyone should listen to them and follow what they believe. Sadly, there is no cure for it. Many of the worst dictators in history were or are somewhere in this category. The fact is those with the disorder or the pathology strangely have very low self-esteem and behave that way to create the illusion of being all powerful because of their apparent high competency. It is a fake high self-esteem because of their success at cheating and making dishonesty look successful and good.

    The thing is the diagnosis of the beyond normal narcissism is something that should be left to the experts unless it has grown to the more extreme forms. So people who show what appears to be in the disorder category may be in the high range of normal. It is a delicate distinction.

    Our community tends to be very occupied with appearance and that can be due to a strong but normal belief in yourself or due to a poor self-image that the person is trying to overcompensate for. One of the big clues is whether the person exhibits empathy, sympathy, and compassion. People with the disorder and/or pathology are generally missing those traits and behavior pattern. If that is present then it is a pretty good bet the person has some degree of narcissism that is beyond the normal range. They may try to fake it, but it is very hard to fake empathy because that requires connecting with the feelings of another person and the other person can sense whether the connection is made or not. It is like narcissism blocks that behavior path in the person with the disorder or pathology. In my opinion, most of us here exhibit a good deal of empathy - you can see it in the responses to posts. So, although there may appear to be a lot of narcissism, it really is still in the normal range of expectation.

    To some extent we exhibit that because of the struggle to show that this kind of "different" personality is often normal which a majority of people still do not accept as being true. It is entirely possible to identify with the opposite gender from that which is expected based on your sexual identity. But social customs are still largely based on the belief that males are masculine and females are feminine and any switcheroo is a sign of mental illness and a detachment from reality. That belief may appear to be generally true, but science has proven that it really is not that way in somewhere between 1% and 5% of the population and to various degrees in those people. It is OK to be this way.

    It was a good subject to bring up Crissy.

  25. #25
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    Perhaps crossdressing is somewhat narcissistic, but if you don’t like yourself, how can you expect anyone else to like you?

    I like myself much better as a woman, mainly because I’m a better person.
    What do I do on days when I don't crossdress? I have no idea.

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