(This is a long post. I get messages from ladies here who like to read stories about others being in public en femme because they themselves are unable to get out. I like to oblige them every so often.)
Since I started going out in public dressed en femme, I have kept to a blending-in approach to my dressing. As a result I have felt very comfortable while out knowing that I look like just another one of the gals. I know I have been clocked a handful of times but am luckily able to pass as a woman much of the time.
However I often wondered just how different it would be if I opted not to blend in but dress sexier so I decided to find out. I went to Kohl?s and bought two items - a short knit dress with a low-cut scoop neck and a short black/white pattern skirt. This past Saturday I put on black panties, black bra with forms, the knit dress (black with small designs), wig, black pendant necklace, gold bracelet and new sandals that had a 2? heel making me a somewhat noticeable 6?2? tall. The dress covered my unmentionables but not by much. I then hit the road and all I can say is OMG.
My first stop was at a library. I parked a block away and on the walk over I must have pulled down on the dress 10 times to make sure nothing was showing. It felt like I was naked from the waist down. While looking for a book in the library I came across an oddly placed air conditioner vent built right into the floor. As I walked across it, I had my own Marilyn Monroe moment with the air blowing straight up and billowing my skirt out a little. Good god did that ever feel good. I stood there for a full minute before reluctantly moving on. After the library, I walked to a small cafe for a light quiche dinner.
Then it was off to an art gallery which was having an opening reception that showcased LGBTQ artists as part of the celebration of LGBTQ month. For some reason I was a little nervous walking up to the gallery but I don?t know where the nervousness came from. After all, of all the people on the planet, the attendees at an event such as this would be very welcoming towards a crossdresser. I stood up straight, put my shoulders back, stuck my boobs out and walked into the gallery. There were about 3 dozen people in there of all ages with slightly more men than women. In no time about two thirds of the group were checking me out. It was a very interesting but somewhat disconcerting sensation to be the object of so much attention for someone used to blending in. I started thinking something was wrong ? maybe my dress was stuck in my panty or one of my boobs had fallen out of place. But then I realized not only was I the tallest person there but as far as I could tell I was the only MTF CD there so I guess it was just a lot of curiosity directed at this lone lady from the CD part of the trans spectrum. I felt very welcome, got a lot of smiles as I walked the exhibit and felt exhilarated when I left. My only disappointment was the lack of other CD?s because I would have liked to make some new friends.
I then drove to a riverside town where I got ice cream and sat in a gazebo listening to 3 older ladies converse in a language I had never heard. After I finished I slid over and asked them if they wouldn?t mind if I tried to guess what language they were using. They happily agreed and after guessing, Turkish, Greek, Albanian, Romanian & Bulgarian I gave up & they told me it was Armenian. Given the history between the two groups, I immediately apologized for guessing that were speaking Turkish but they laughed it off saying not to worry. I got up to leave, wished them a good evening and realized they didn?t seem to care I was a guy in a dress. I walked over to a nearby art gallery where a German lady was showing her work. She graciously came over to me and started to describe the process she used to create her art. I had a lot of questions and realized that my fake female voice wouldn?t cut it so I just started talking normally. After 20 minutes of discussion I mentioned to her that my being dressed as a woman didn?t seem to bother her. She looked at me and said very earnestly ?No it doesn?t, it doesn?t bother me at all. Why should it?? I was floored by her openness and honesty. It was so refreshing. We then started a long conversation about my CD?ing and about CD?ing in general which led into a discussion of people, tolerance, attitudes, politics ...etc.
In total we talked for about 50 minutes which was 20 minutes past the gallery?s closing time. It was such a pleasure talking to someone who was interesting, thoughtful and genuinely interested in what another person had to say despite that other person being a man dressed as a woman. She was a nice, attractive, middle aged, talented, thoughtful woman with an appealing German accent and I was very enamored with her. If she was single, I think I would have gotten down on one knee and asked her to marry me right then and there. As I left I told her I would come visit her again but it just might be as my male self and she would have to see if she could recognize me. I?m going to try and disguise my male voice when I go back to see if I can fool her.
So that was it for Saturday. On Sunday, I put on the short black/white skirt along with a tight black, scoop-neck t-shirt and drove to another river town where I had lunch by the river, had some ice cream and got clocked some more. An uneventful but nice day.
So what did I learn this weekend.
1. Blending in is much more comfortable for me. I would rather spend my time out enjoying presenting as a woman than worrying about what might happen if too many people clock me. Dressing to stand out is thrilling but invites way more looks and much closer inspection and increases the odds of that one nasty SOB deciding to make an example of one of us.
2. Dressing sexy in public makes the intensity of your sexual and sensuous feelings skyrocket. Being out like that gives you the sense that you are just exuding sexuality and believe me it is highly intoxicating.
3 After the LGBTQ art event, I now have a better understanding of what a woman feels like when she walks into a room and men stare at her. It must be a very disconcerting feeling for many women. Not knowing if the men are bad actors or what their real intentions are must result in many women imagining the worst and becoming very uncomfortable.
4. In the library I climbed a flight of stairs whose sides were glass. Halfway up I looked down to see if anyone was looking up my dress. There was no one there but again I now know how many women must feel in that same situation.
It was a great weekend and Saturday ranks as one of the most interesting days I have had in a very long time.
* Photos of what I wore both Saturday and Sunday are posted in the separate Picture & Video Gallery section.
