I love feminine clothes, but I also love the female body. Most of my life I have struggled with a discomfort with my male body parts. I often literally dream and daydream about having “female parts” (to keep this G - rated). When I look at a women (including my wife) with “well-formed” breasts, I envy them. And my big feet: hate them. I am not a foot fetishist, but I so wish I had smaller, more delicate feet like a woman that really looked stunning in heels!
I know that this dysphoria, although not severe enough to push me to transition, is why I prefer to tuck, and why I feel best when wearing my forms. As I have gotten older, I have realized that I am further down the trans continuum than “just a crossdresser.” Of course I realize that even if I were to transition, endure all the surgeries, lose my marriage, etc., etc., I could never change my over six foot frame, big feet, much of my facial structure, etc.
Do not misunderstand me, by now I have accepted that I am a man and I have the body I have. I just do not like it. And I admire women like my wife.
I know that many, maybe most, crossdressers have no body dysphoria about their male bodies and are “into it” for just the clothes. Not me. Not looking for advice. Just sharing, and curious how many others might have similar feelings. Nancy