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Thread: Would your friends be shocked?

  1. #26
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    Some would be shocked. Others would say they sort-of knew all along. I don’t go to a lot of effort to hide it, but I try not to be "in your face’" about it either. I don’t have any male casual clothing, but some of my casual stuff is only a little feminine. So when in male mode I’m either dressed to the nines or sending out subtle hints. (Sometimes not so subtle.)
    What do I do on days when I don't crossdress? I have no idea.

  2. #27
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    I know that none of the people that I know would understand. My nephew is now my niece and totally cast out of the family and lost all the friends he/she had. I. Understand what is happening, but not the rest of the family. It is a real shame as she is quite a great person with a lot more class than most people.

  3. #28
    Silver Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Who would be shocked? Not sure. I have had women say to me, "you are such a girl". I loved it. But I do have some really old friends that would be knocked over.

    But then again, shaved legs, longer nails, plucked brows should be a giveaway right. My long hair is gone for good, just ask my wife.

    I am cool as long as people stay out of my special closet and my special chest of drawers. I wish I had a make-up stand and forms for my wigs.

  4. #29
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I've known their attitudes about LGBTQ for a long time; while they aren't militant haters, they also don't socialize with anyone who isn't absolutely, positively, perfectly straight and 'normal'. While they are of the 'not that there's anything wrong with that', they're obviously uncomfortable being anywhere around non straight people because they assume that would make them suspect for not being straight, themselves.
    When I went to nursing school, of course all the male nurse jokes stopped, but I already knew their attitudes about men who work in the girly jobs, so I knew what they suspected about me, despite that I was married at the time.
    It's just one of the things about having grown up in the times that we did (1960's); you were indoctrinated into the 'all male, all the time', or you're a sissy or homosexual.
    So while I know where it comes from, that doesn't mean I'm willing to sacrifice my friends and acquaintances just to be a martyr to the cause.
    So I stay in the closet.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  5. #30
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I may soon find out. I'm financially set and thinking of dating. Being out would certainly help my confidence.
    I've been invited to a party of friends in which I could wear a sun dress. A few months ago one of them asked about my pronouns.
    As for family, I haven't seen them in twenty years. My father has passed and my mother has always known I was different. Her memory has failed to where she can't live independently anymore.

    Marion
    Last edited by Maid_Marion; 07-08-2022 at 01:26 AM.

  6. #31
    Just another 'Gurl'
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    Several of my friends from before I was married know I am bi and a crossdresser. However, now that I am married our married friends don't know. Kind of sucks to be honest.
    Just another man in a dress

  7. #32
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Well, I only have two people who I consider to truly be my friends. The rest are (at best) acquaintances.
    Both friends know about me and haven't run for the hills, but only one has actually SEEN me in femme mode. He has no problems at all with me, no matter how I'm presenting.
    A TRUE friend, indeed.

  8. #33
    Member JuliannaS's Avatar
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    My gf and i were having this conversation last week.... We have a few circles of friends that we spend time with....we were discussing which ones wouldn't be surprised, which ones would be shocked, and which wouldn't be accepting of it. She says that most of our friends would not be surprised.
    Julianna Frances

  9. #34
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Lexi, I appreciate your perspective and agree for the most part. That said, things can be a bit different these days and the strictness of toeing the line back in the 60's is only true in some geographic areas these days. In the city where I live there are neighborhoods where you do have to turn your watch back 50 or 60 or more years, but for the most part it is live and let live in much of the city. But when one goes to other places the environment can make you feel very uncomfortable and unwelcome if you happen to be centered a bit outside the range of the local normal. Shunning can be the way they message you that you are standing on thin ice.

  10. #35
    Junior Member fireandlace's Avatar
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    I am pretty sure all of my male friends would be shocked. I have come out to a handful of GG friends over the years and I always get the response of…. “I would have never guessed but it makes sense.” It would be a shock to people on the job I retired from. In my current job, where I am the only male in an office five women, I routinely hear that I fit in great. I don’t think it would much of a shock there.

  11. #36
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    My friends are either very accepting and encouraging (have lots of gfs I shop with at times or go get pedis, makeup, etc), or they simply dgaf, which is where most guy friends are. I came out to close friends several years ago and now I wear whatever I want whenever and pretty much wherever I want. I never went to any great lengths to hide or suppress anything anyway, but life's too short to live any other way for me.

  12. #37
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    I have to say yes. Although many have seen me in leggings many times at the gym, I don't think they have any idea. Certainly outside of my wife my family does not know.

  13. #38
    Aspiring Member Joanne108's Avatar
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    I don?t know? Once I had a coworker say near Halloween ?You should dress as a woman. I think you would look great in a dress.?
    I said thanks I guess. It was nearly 20 Years ago the world didn?t seem so friendly back then.

  14. #39
    Member Read only MiniRock's Avatar
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    I have only two male friends, whom I see very very rarely. One knows and finds it very amusing when our conversation strays onto the subject. The other knows but isn't very interested.

  15. #40
    Junior Member Natalie56's Avatar
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    Nobody knows I CD. I do it just for myself even though some of my family and friends would be understanding, Pretty sure my daughter would understand but Im not ready to tell anyone.

  16. #41
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Yep, everyone I know would experience varying degrees of shock.

  17. #42
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Some of my friends know. Most don't.

    I expect we all know folks of all kinds and all walks of life. Naturally, their reaction would vary. I expect the folks I've befriended between childhood through college would be fairly surprised. Friends I have made as an adult, less so.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  18. #43
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
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    I doubt most would give it much thought after having a good laugh. It is 2022 after all. My wife thinks they would all run for the hills though. I suspect the truth is somewhere between us. When I was a teen I was far more out about my dressing etc and generally my feminine side, to my family girl cousins et al. Stupidly the one person I kept it from was my fianc?e, now wife of 40+ years. So these days, we play by her rules on that front.
    Last edited by Jane G; 07-09-2022 at 11:57 AM.

  19. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by NancyJ View Post
    I am one hundred percent in the closer and plan to stay that way. Only my wife knows and is in the marginally tolerant category. I often wonder what some of my friends would think. I have some male friends that I have known since childhood. We spend time with certain couples on a regular basis. Would they reject me or ridicule me if they knew I wore panties? That I thought of myself as trans? That I wish I were a woman and love dressing in feminine clothes? I do not believe any of them would understand. I tend to think only those of us who feel the same way understand. Part of me wishes I did not have to keep me secret, but I will. Nancy
    Yea same here. I would be willing to bet I?d not only lose all my friends I would lose my wife and business. Blasted on social media with small town drama etc. my kids would probably distance their self as well. Might be an excessive opinion but that?s how I feel it would go down.

    Even in a day where things are acceptable vs 10 years ago I feel they still aren?t. People just pretend to be politically correct for social image.

    My manager recently hired a young 19 year old boy that?s as gay as it gets. Flamboyant and all. He runs our front counter and at 1st I thought I?d have customer issues but I haven?t had one yet. So far he?s been 100% accepted and I?m happy about it. I find myself intrigued and chatting with him quite a bit. The main differences is that he?s extremely feminine, make up, the way he moves, talks, twirls his hair with his fingers when we talk etc. me, I?m extremely masculine. Not one person would ever think I was wearing panties and wondering how awesome it would feel to be in heels. Lol.

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