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Thread: Trans, CD, or what? How do u know what u r?

  1. #1
    Happy Halloween! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.

    Question Trans, CD, or what? How do u know what u r?

    So many here don't know what they r! And, neither did I until I was free to dress as often as I wanted and discovered

    When I was married with family I had to sneak around to dress and had constant fantasies of becoming a woman. After we separated, I had the house to myself for weeks at a time so I could dress to any degree whenever I liked. And, I did!

    But, over the years and with help from many members here, online and in person, I discovered I only wished to look like a woman, not live like, or become one!

    I believe only when you're free to dress the way and as much as u like can u decide how far u wish to go with your dressing!

    If u r sure, what helped u decide whether you're trans, a CD, or whatever u feel u r?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Going to seed!
    I suppose I have always known I was gender variant. I probably first wore female clothing items as a preschooler and dabled in stockings and panties as a teen and into adulthood. I always wanted to go further, to dress completely as a woman, but given the times when I grew up, I bore a nagging fear that if I gave in and indulged myself I might not be able to stop. That fear limited my experience for more than 50 years. Then I finally tried and turns out my early fears were legitimate.

    I knew for certain that I was trans at that moment.
    Last edited by kimdl93; 07-23-2022 at 04:30 PM.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
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    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    Or. what? I've always lobbied against using one word to describe a complex issue. I do believe, if one is suppressed, the person really does not have the opportunity to explore. I constantly read posts of many who have not donned their fem clothing for a very long period of time. Usually, it is the circumstances of their personal lives and adherence to the rules of society. They seem to be crawling at the walls in total angst.

    With so many variances, what the heck does "trans" mean anymore? No wonder society in general does not understand. It's relatively simple with other terms; gay, lesbian, bisexual. If one were to stick me in a checklist box of "trans," what does that really mean?

  4. #4
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    Do not know, do not care!

  5. #5
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    May 2013
    Central Coast, CA
    Here's a new label me.

    You could easily argue that every one of those labels apply to me. Not one of them accurately describe me.

    I agree you need freedom to know who you are. And then how you wish to live your life.

    When the opportunity arose years ago, as I say, I went in all directions at the same time, looking for answers.

    I guess the biggest thing for me is living in the real world. all my friends and just people in general. It's their acceptance , support and guidance.

    I enjoy being me, living as Jean.

    Love Jean

  6. #6
    Member VS Fan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Wish I was/were a woman, but do not feel like I am one, so not really trans… and wouldn’t transition at this point anyway… I don’t have a feminine feature on my body and I don’t think the result would match my fantasy lol. Just major woman envy I guess. So I’m “just a cross dresser”.
    Kelly a.k.a. VS Fan

  7. #7
    I NEVER go bare-legged! Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Nov 2019
    Kosciusko, MS
    I'm a CD, not transgender. I very much like being a man who dresses like a woman..... For one thing, I really don't wanna go through all the HRT, surgeries, voice lessons or perhaps even surgery on my vocal cords to sound more like a woman. Also, and I've said this on more than one occasion, I like being able to quickly and easily remove my feminine things when I'm done being Kimberly. When an M to F trans, (no offense, of course) has SRS or breast implants, that, of course isn't easily removable. LOL..... Although it DOES suck when I can't be Kimberly, though.
    My YouTube channel: Kimberly A.

  8. #8
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    Mar 2008
    Living in the present
    I agree that has helped me figure out how I feel about my love of crossdressing. Great site! Good moderators!

    I am a straight male who loves wearing certain types of clothing normally worn by females.

    I think that everyone should be free to dress as they please, and be free from prejudice surrounding their lifestyle choices.

  9. #9
    Member Taylor Dame's Avatar
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    Aug 2011
    Upstate NY
    I'm a straight man who loves to dress fully as a woman, including wig, makeup, and jewelry. I don't really care what I am called, but all I know is it just feels right.
    "When you come to a fork in the road, Take it!" - Yogi Berra
    I guess I did!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Near the trees
    Ignorance is bliss-It is better to remain unaware or ignorant of things that may otherwise cause one stress; if you don't know about something, you don't need to worry about it.

    The above wording is me. I say that I am a girl but that is not accepted with people not even accepted on this forum. Society labels me as trans yet when I first started my journey transgender was not a word used by people like me. How can I be trans if the word came after who I already was. Society thought it right to make that label and put that label on me.

    I am a girl, better yet, I am the girl that walks in the woods. I can live this way cause of the above statement. I don't know all the scientific/medical terms used for people. I don't go into deep thoughts about non binary stuff. I don't care to know what others think on who I am supposed to be. It is best to remain ignorant of these things to keep me happy.

    I am a girl, I don't care what others think.
    I thought the most beautiful thing in the world must be shadow. Sylvia Plath

  11. #11
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    Nov 2021
    Merseyside UK
    CD is what I do and am.I have no desire to transition. Was confused when younger but it is what it is.

  12. #12
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Mar 2020
    Central California
    I feel that I am in year 2 of fully dressing. Maybe a few more years experience I will let someone label me.
    Last edited by Natalie5004; 07-23-2022 at 09:31 PM.

  13. #13
    Member RoxieChristine's Avatar
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    Jun 2022
    Dallas area
    A Seeker, that is what I am. Best word I can think of. I've been crossdressing to some degree my entire life. There have been plenty of fantasies and desires to be a girl as long as I can remember. Even now, when I crossdress, my desire is to BE a woman, not just look like one. I'm also struggling with age and family and my job, and while I feel, at this time, that I am Trans, I do feel see ever acting on it. Part of me wishes I could and wants to, and it is a struggle but I still don't see it happening. It will most likely be one of the many regrets I will carry to my grave. In the meantime, I see myself indulging as often and as far into crossdressing as possible. So I continue to seek who I really am and opportunities to indulge myself.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Fiona_44's Avatar
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    Jan 2022
    Today's LGBTQ community would place me somewhere on the trans spectrum but I consider myself as a cross dresser.
    "I may be going to hell in a bucket baby but at least I'm enjoyin' the ride!" - Grateful Dead

  15. #15
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Eugene, Oregon, USA
    I would agree that having the courage and freedom to dress however you choose, coupled with being able to go out in public, is a huge boon in determing ones gender identity.

    For me, it happened in several stages:

    Over a long period throughout my life, I knew I was different, and most likely bisexual. But I denied and sublimated those feelings. It came out as me being unusually good at writing female story characters and doing roleplaying games as female characters. But I did not think I would cross that line in real life. I was happily married and monogamous. If I had other desires, I could ignore them and decline to act on them.

    Even after personally witnessing the transformation experience of a coworker, as they transitioned from male to female, I did not think that was in my own future.

    Then I lost my spouse, and with no one to answer to, started to explore my feminine urges.

    Within months of going out socially while cross dressed, I knew for sure that I loved being seen and accepted as a woman. But it took four years, and an unexpected financial opportunity, for me to realize and accept that if money wasn’t an insurmountable barrier, I did want to transition fully to female.

    Four years of living fully as a woman, and only one operation away from completing medical transition, I could not be happier with my feminine life.

  16. #16
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    I hate labels and honestly have no idea where I stand currently. Some days I'm on one end of the scale and some days I'm in the middle. I do know that I'll never be fully on the male side anymore and always at least hovering in the middle.
    With all the pronouns and labels floating about it's even more confusing. When I was young I thought I was a TV. Then that became a porn thing and suddenly the term was CD. Then that wasn't really enough and now my head is just spinning.
    I just want to be me.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  17. #17
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Nov 2019
    Southeast US
    People have asked me what pronouns I like to use several times this year when I was out clubbing. I just tell them I am a simple crossdresser - complex person.
    One thing that really locked that feeling in my head is that I am more comfortable using the mens restroom than the womens , regardless of what I am wearing. It seems to be a right of passage for many to use the womens, but I do not feel it is right for me.

    Of course I accidentally ended up in the ladies room one night when I had too much to drink. That was by accident.

    I may think about dressing a lot, but in reality I probably would not find it as exciting if I dressed up every day.


  18. #18
    Just another 'Gurl' Kitty Sue's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    Sitting on a box.
    Absolutely a bi CD. I like to dress as a woman, but I have no desired to become a woman in reality.
    Just another man in a dress

  19. #19
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Washington, DC
    I'm a crossdresser. I like dressing as a women when I can, but I also like my life as a husband to my wife.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  20. #20
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    Aug 2021
    New Jersey
    Although I have not been at this for very long, I am quite sure I am a crossdresser. I am very comfortable being placed somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum as a result - even like the idea - and I have no inclinations toward transition. I continue to enjoy my male self, with all that entails .I also enjoy my excursions into experiencing, through outward appearance at least, some measure of femaleness whenever I can without it becoming my primary identity. If I was attuned to this as a younger person I might have explored bisexuality, but not now. I'm much too settled and secure in my gender identification and sexuality, and anything more would fall into the category of fantasy only.

  21. #21
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Jun 2017
    Central Fla.
    While I do believe I'm somewhere on "the spectrum," I'm not sure of what label, if any, applies the most.
    If I were to use just one word to describe my gender identity, it would have to be
    <drum roll please>

    I've always felt I should have been born a girl.
    I've always known I wasn't.

    Dressing is essential, and I love looking as feminine as possible (when I can).
    Dressing points out how FAKE I have to be (wig, forms, tucking, etc.) to even come close.

    I have definite feminine traits and interests.
    I have definite masculine traits and interests.

    And to top everything off - I'm something of an "approval junkie." I DO care what others think and feel about me, I'm feel crushed when I'm trying to show the "real" me, only to get "clocked" and stared or laughed at. I know I shouldn't care, but I do - way too much. Too empathetic for my own good? Maybe.

    And Doc, you're probably right - having an extended time of freedom to dress/be however you feel would likely help sort things out, but how many of us get such an opportunity? Everyday life (jobs, friends, family, etc.) interferes way too much.

  22. #22
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Hi SaraLin,

    I certainly understand the approval aspect. I get a lot more respect presenting female.
    Which means I'm more outgoing and assertive. Which results in a positive feedback loop!\

    I saw some recent pics and was shocked how well they turned out.
    A tight fitting athletic golf polo hugs my curves. I have a really good waist to hip ratio!

    Last edited by Maid_Marion; 07-24-2022 at 06:07 AM.

  23. #23
    Junior Member Natalie56's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2022
    I have no idea what I do it for, It makes me feel really nice. What does suprise me is the total lack of eroticism about my whole CD thing, I get dressed, I feel lovely, great feelings Brushing my hair, Putting on makeup ect. But being turned on just does not happen. I just like being Nats I guess. I dont want any social recognition at all, No special treatment. I would love to go for a walk wearing a dress, But only if I met no one or was seen. Maybe I dont fit into any category.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    Oct 2012
    I know that I am not transgender. I have no desire to live or behave as a woman. I enjoy being a male and would rather be fussing around with a piece of machinery than shopping in a mall. But every now and then, I like to dress up and I enjoy underdressing. So, if I am not transgender, but I like to wear womens clothes periodically, what does that make me? A cross dresser I guess.

  25. #25
    Time to step out! Erin77's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Ontario Canada. Milton
    Many many good points SaraLin. I am in the same kind of region as you. Wished I had been born female for as long as I can remember but have forced y maleness to come to the front due to life,society,family. I have been seeing a counsellor and the questions she asks are great and help me work out where I am at. Still working that out though 😁. I think my crossdressing has been my way for me to feel like my inner self and let her out to the surface. Will I ever pass 100%? I don't believe so, my girl friends who know do encourage me though and because of that I am expressing myself more as Erin. Thanks to the ladies here it also has helped to see where I can go and what I can do.

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