Trans, CD, or what? How do u know what u r?

[docrobbysherry]

So many here don't know what they r! And, neither did I until I was free to dress as often as I wanted and discovered CD.com.

When I was married with family I had to sneak around to dress and had constant fantasies of becoming a woman. After we separated, I had the house to myself for weeks at a time so I could dress to any degree whenever I liked. And, I did!

But, over the years and with help from many members here, online and in person, I discovered I only wished to look like a woman, not live like, or become one!

I believe only when you're free to dress the way and as much as u like can u decide how far u wish to go with your dressing!

If u r sure, what helped u decide whether you're trans, a CD, or whatever u feel u r?

[kimdl93]

I suppose I have always known I was gender variant. I probably first wore female clothing items as a preschooler and dabled in stockings and panties as a teen and into adulthood. I always wanted to go further, to dress completely as a woman, but given the times when I grew up, I bore a nagging fear that if I gave in and indulged myself I might not be able to stop. That fear limited my experience for more than 50 years. Then I finally tried and turns out my early fears were legitimate.

I knew for certain that I was trans at that moment.

[Stephanie47]

Or. what? I've always lobbied against using one word to describe a complex issue. I do believe, if one is suppressed, the person really does not have the opportunity to explore. I constantly read posts of many who have not donned their fem clothing for a very long period of time. Usually, it is the circumstances of their personal lives and adherence to the rules of society. They seem to be crawling at the walls in total angst.

With so many variances, what the heck does "trans" mean anymore? No wonder society in general does not understand. It's relatively simple with other terms; gay, lesbian, bisexual. If one were to stick me in a checklist box of "trans," what does that really mean?

[Karren H]

Do not know, do not care!

[Sallee]

Karren Have fun that's the most important But you know that

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

I am a cross dresser. I know that. I have had the opportunity to dress as much as I want and tried to but grew tried of it. I went out interacted with others, bars, restaurants, movies even museums. I found it to be a chore after awhile. I also realized what I would have to give up to transition. It was just to hard not to mention expensive. Now I still enjoy cding and going out. Who knows why but it is fun for me a fancy dress some heels and makeup, making myself pretty is fun. Kind of like golf or skiing, ok maybe a little different, but you get the idea and the urge. Good luck to all who are still trying to figure it out, do what comfortable and FUN

[Jean 103]

Here's a new label me.

You could easily argue that every one of those labels apply to me. Not one of them accurately describe me.

I agree you need freedom to know who you are. And then how you wish to live your life.

When the opportunity arose years ago, as I say, I went in all directions at the same time, looking for answers.

I guess the biggest thing for me is living in the real world. all my friends and just people in general. It's their acceptance , support and guidance.


I enjoy being me, living as Jean.

Love Jean

[VS Fan]

Wish I was/were a woman, but do not feel like I am one, so not really trans… and wouldn’t transition at this point anyway… I don’t have a feminine feature on my body and I don’t think the result would match my fantasy lol. Just major woman envy I guess. So I’m “just a cross dresser”.

[NancyJ]

IMO, it is a continuum with the m2f transitioning on the far end and the fetishistic crossdresser on the other end. I have come to see myself as transgender, although I will never transition and now actually rarely crossdress. I wish I were born a woman and, I think if I did not marry early and have kids, and would have been born into a world with puberty blockers, etc. (and had the opportunity), I would have transitioned. But that is not the life I have had. Nancy

[MarinaTwelve200]

Seems to be pretty simple when you have definitions. A homosexual (or bisexual) is attracted to those of the same sex. A Trans wants to be or identifies with the same sex. BOTH are known to cross dress. while a "crossdresser" proper, just cross-dresses without the aforementioned "complications". An activity that is shared , but with different SETS of motivations.----all three being "different animals" altogether.

[docrobbysherry]

Seems to be pretty simple when you have definitions. A homosexual (or bisexual) is attracted to those of the same sex. A Trans wants to be or identifies with the same sex. BOTH are known to cross dress. while a "crossdresser" proper, just cross-dresses without the aforementioned "complications". An activity that is shared , but with different SETS of motivations.----all three being "different animals" altogether.

Definitions r fine and good, Marina. But, u haven't said which u identify with or how u found that out!

[GraceM]

Jean, love this. Best label ever. I'm still trying to figure this out. I can never go wrong being me.

[docrobbysherry]

Grace, I assume that means everything has gone well when you're being u and badly when not? And, that's how u know when you're truly u and when you're not?

I'd have to say it's more the opposite for me! The more I'm myself the more all hell breaks loose!

[GraceM]

Doc, I've been thinking about your response for a bit. It would to be too much to say that everything goes well when I'm me/Grace is at the forefront, life is life. But coping is better, and that's how I know I'm that authentic self. Trust me, this girl can make hell break loose with a wave of her hand.

[Kimberly A.]

I'm a CD, not transgender. I very much like being a man who dresses like a woman..... For one thing, I really don't wanna go through all the HRT, surgeries, voice lessons or perhaps even surgery on my vocal cords to sound more like a woman. Also, and I've said this on more than one occasion, I like being able to quickly and easily remove my feminine things when I'm done being Kimberly. When an M to F trans, (no offense, of course) has SRS or breast implants, that, of course isn't easily removable. LOL..... Although it DOES suck when I can't be Kimberly, though.

[GaleWarning]

I agree that cd.com has helped me figure out how I feel about my love of crossdressing. Great site! Good moderators!

I am a straight male who loves wearing certain types of clothing normally worn by females.

I think that everyone should be free to dress as they please, and be free from prejudice surrounding their lifestyle choices.

[Amelie]

Ignorance is bliss-It is better to remain unaware or ignorant of things that may otherwise cause one stress; if you don't know about something, you don't need to worry about it.

The above wording is me. I say that I am a girl but that is not accepted with people not even accepted on this forum. Society labels me as trans yet when I first started my journey transgender was not a word used by people like me. How can I be trans if the word came after who I already was. Society thought it right to make that label and put that label on me.

I am a girl, better yet, I am the girl that walks in the woods. I can live this way cause of the above statement. I don't know all the scientific/medical terms used for people. I don't go into deep thoughts about non binary stuff. I don't care to know what others think on who I am supposed to be. It is best to remain ignorant of these things to keep me happy.

I am a girl, I don't care what others think.

[Mermaiden]

Good question, Doc, and lots of good responses. To focus on the question of ?how did I learn whether I?m trans or CD? I have to remark that it has been a process. Like so many I started off with a little highly charged secret CD, then evolved one step at a time to a steady state of enjoying CD. Along the way I have found myself wondering where it was going and what was I really. By being allowed to ask myself if was trans or CD, I?ve been able to feel confident knowing I?m CD and trans. And this forum has given me license to entertain these thoughts.
Apologies to all the subtlety I have glossed over, and in particular always appreciate Gretchen?s analysis.

[Gillian Gigs]

I agree that cd.com has helped me figure out how I feel about my love of crossdressing. Great site! Good moderators!

I am a straight male who loves wearing certain types of clothing normally worn by females.

I think that everyone should be free to dress as they please, and be free from prejudice surrounding their lifestyle choices.

I could not have said it any better!

[mbmeen12]

Tuff question as to me, "looking into a mirror looking inward". I am first a biological man. I enjoy to this day all the manly perks. Exploration was key factor in shaping when I was young dressing and becoming a bisexual crossdresser who at times, wants the attributes of a woman and all it's perks. Home run Doc....

[Taylor Dame]

I'm a straight man who loves to dress fully as a woman, including wig, makeup, and jewelry. I don't really care what I am called, but all I know is it just feels right.

[Natalie5004]

I feel that I am in year 2 of fully dressing. Maybe a few more years experience I will let someone label me.

[MarinaTwelve200]

According to my own years of study You are Trans if you identify with or actually want to be a woman, you are Homosexual or Bi if you are sexually attracted to other men but are only a "Crossdresser"(noun) if you like women's clothing and are otherwise straight. the former might all cross-dress (verb) but they already have a "label" while a "Crossdresser" has no atypical gender/sexuality issues. Personally, as a Scientist, I feel that "labels" and names for things, ARE important as we THINK with words. f we don't have a name or term for something we cannot THINK about it and come to any meaningful conclusions. But further complicating things is that there are different KINDS of Crossdressers, eg. Escapists, fetishists, S/M Humiliation, etc. within the context of being otherwise "straight".

Personally, I am an "escapist" Cross Dresser I CD to become "not me" to take a vacation from both "maleness" and myself.---To drop my worries and responsibilities to unwind and relax.

[IamWren]

I don’t think there is any one answer as to how a trans person or crossdresser knows whether they are or not trans or cis. And I’ll add that it isn’t necessarily fixed for everyone as well. A continued questioning and exploration can last well after someone first concluded they were trans or cis. I certainly agree with others that given the opportunity to explore gender expression (crossdress) without shame is an important component to figuring out one’s gender identity.

Because of that, soon after finding this site I began to understand I wasn’t quite like other crossdressers here. My reason for crossdressing wasn’t for the purpose of sexual stimulation, relaxation, escapism or the tactile feeling of the fabric. For me, it was more of a tool or mechanism that allowed me express a more feminine nature without the incongruence of a male/man’s figure. After a couple of years of questioning, research, experimenting and work with a couple of therapists, I admitted I am indeed transgender… a transfemme enby to be exact.

According to my own years of study You are Trans if you identify with or actually want to be a woman…

I feel compelled to hone Marina’s definition of transgender because what she’s saying dismisses the existence of enbies.

So more accurately, a trans person is someone who does not identify with the gender assigned to them at birth which was given by virtue of the genitals the doctor observed.

There is a difference between anatomy and gender and we as humans have for millennia intertwined the two. It is important to make the distinction. I was born with male anatomy and as such was socialized as a boy who continued with that socialization as a man. However, although I am transgender (MtF), I DO NOT identify as a woman. I am a non-binary, an enby, a third-gender.

[MarinaTwelve200]

I don?t think there is any one answer as to how a trans person or crossdresser knows whether they are or not trans or cis. And I?ll add that it isn?t necessarily fixed for everyone as well. A continued questioning and exploration can last well after someone first concluded they were trans or cis. I certainly agree with others that given the opportunity to explore gender expression (crossdress) without shame is an important component to figuring out one?s gender identity.

Because of that, soon after finding this site I began to understand I wasn?t quite like other crossdressers here. My reason for crossdressing wasn?t for the purpose of sexual stimulation, relaxation, escapism or the tactile feeling of the fabric. For me, it was more of a tool or mechanism that allowed me express a more feminine nature without the incongruence of a male/man?s figure. After a couple of years of questioning, research, experimenting and work with a couple of therapists, I admitted I am indeed transgender? a transfemme enby to be exact.


I feel compelled to hone Marina?s definition of transgender because what she?s saying dismisses the existence of enbies.

So more accurately, a trans person is someone who does not identify with the gender assigned to them at birth which was given by virtue of the genitals the doctor observed.

There is a difference between anatomy and gender and we as humans have for millennia intertwined the two. It is important to make the distinction. I was born with male anatomy and as such was socialized as a boy who continued with that socialization as a man. However, although I am transgender (MtF), I DO NOT identify as a woman. I am a non-binary, an enby, a third-gender.

ENBY? that's a new term for me. how do you define it? Yes, I might have simplified things as to trans types they are almost as complex as CD types, but I only summarized the basic Trans Definition. As A CD I have concentrated most on Crossdressers and those variants within THAT category.

As far as Trans folk go, I find Autogynophyles especially interesting (straight MALES who admire women so much that want to BE women themselves) if the subject matter was not complex enough.

[IamWren]

Enby (pronounced: ehn-bee) the soundnof the letters N-B for nonbinary.
I define enby as a person who does not identify as a man or a woman. Some also include people who identify as both a man and a woman. I find doing that unnecessary however.

And that’s not what autogynephilia is. That is a debunked hypothesis where a straight MAN becomes sexually aroused at the site of himself as a woman.

Transwomen are not straight men who want to be women because they admire them so much or because they are sexually aroused at the idea of being a woman.

I think you might need to do more research.