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Thread: The longer i go without dressing, the more stressed i get.

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member KymG's Avatar
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    The longer i go without dressing, the more stressed i get.

    I havent dressed properly for ages. By that I mean the works, fully dolled up girl mode.
    I look forward to it all the time but havent had a chance recently.
    Ive noticed that ive had a few stressy moments, as pointed out to me by friends, and once ive dressed it will ease off.
    Why?
    I sit here and look at some of my pictures and wonder why I get this thrill from dressing up as a woman.
    It feels great, feels just right, but I do not want to be a woman, just enjoy a temporary pass as it were.
    They say you dont choose crossdressing, but crossdressing chooses you. If so, why is it such a taboo issue?
    I went with some friends to a pride march recently and there were some girls dressed, but mostly in the drag sense with no attempt to blend in.
    I would have loved to have gone dressed but thats out of the question for now.
    What is it all about?
    Im ok with it to a point but sometimes it gets the better of me.
    Some of my friends know but Im not out to the world.
    Just typing my thoughts out, sorry.

  2. #2
    Member VS Fan's Avatar
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    Absolutely understand - same happens to me!
    Kelly a.k.a. VS Fan

  3. #3
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    Wow, I can relate 100%.

    I hate that some people make us feel like what we do is wrong.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    I am glad you wrote down how you feel. I think most of us can relate to the frustration of feeling unable to express ourselves openly, whether its occasional outing or incorporating female presentation into our everyday lives. If you get a thrill, if it feels just right and great, that is certainly reason enough to allow yourself those feelings. There is no requirement that you want more than to enjoy the experience. The latter question, why is it taboo? There is no good answer except that throughout human history, the rule makers have imposed themselves onto the personal lives of individuals as a means of controlling them, whether its how one might wish to dress, what one might wish to eat or whom one might want to love.

    Whatever the obstacles are in your life, you deserve the opportunity to feel good and enjoy life. My thought is to look at the obstacles that are keeping you from doing so, and come up with a plan for overcoming these obstacles. The plan and how you carry it out are totally yours. Beyond that, be patient with yourself and perservere!

  5. #5
    Ah-May-Lee
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    Some of my friends know but Im not out to the world.

    I think the line above might be the reason. Find a solution for fixing the above and everything might fall into place. Of course I do not know your whole life situation, I only make a comment of what little I know.

    Why is it Taboo? I don't know. But I do see young people out there with all sorts of differing clothe styles. Maybe it's cause most of us are older, from a different era. Maybe it might be better if we were all young and just starting out. Too many maybe's.
    I thought the most beautiful thing in the world must be shadow. Sylvia Plath

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Heather76's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KymG View Post
    I...wonder why I get this thrill from dressing up as a woman.
    It feels great, feels just right, but I do not want to be a woman, just enjoy a temporary pass as it were.
    They say you don't choose crossdressing, but crossdressing chooses you.
    Thanks for these words. I agree 100%. You've expressed my feelings quite well.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  7. #7
    Member Mackem Sue's Avatar
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    If I know I've my own space, I dress. And yes, I feel better dressed.

    Not dressing if I've the chance seems a lost opportunity.

    An example recently was I was on a brief domestic holiday. I took a set of lady clothes with me (the whole set, including wig, heels, etc) and managed on two nights to have a couple of hours dressing time. I felt better for it for sure.

    Sue

  8. #8
    Member Fiona_44's Avatar
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    Kym,

    There is no one answer as to why we dress as women. There is a very long list of possible reasons but often CD's go their entire life without understanding why but they are happy and content anyway.

    As to why it is taboo, it is because by cross dressing we are breaking one of society's norms. We know we're not doing anything wrong and not doing anything to hurt anyone but those who break society's norms are looked at as being different, are considered an outsider and seen as a threat to the status quo. A good percentage of people don't really care that we dress but there are always those who through fear or ignorance will lash out.

    Fiona
    YOLO

  9. #9
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    I'd heard a lot about the stress relief that CDing can bring, but I didn't really understand until recently. The "call" to dress is always there. If the opportunity arises and I answer, I feel great, often exhilarated, always satisfying. If I do not, it is a letdown, and it heightens my need for the next opportunity.And as for the taboo? It gives me great joy to know I break it - part of the fun for me, and also great release from the norms society places upon us all.

    BTW - I think I'll seize the moment now!
    www.flickr.com/people/194195593@N05/

  10. #10
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Kym, I feel you. My wife's adult children live with us. Because of this I cannot dress at home and can only dress if I go out to a meetup with one of my local groups. It does lead to some depression.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  11. #11
    Platinum Member
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    I understand your pain. I retired before my wife which afforded me several seven hour days for Stephanie time each week when school was in session. Then she retired full time. Then Covid hit. The last time I was able to doll up 100% was New Year's Eve of 2019/2020 when my wife babysat overnight for our grandchild. As my wife and I sleep apart I do get the opportunity to sleep en femme; nightie, panty, bra, slip.

    It was actually worse early in our marriage when my wife was at home with our kids. Between the stresses of work and parenthood I needed the stress relief wearing women's clothing gave me.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    Suppression can lead to depression. I know how you feel as never get a minute to myself.However when I get a chance, the stress relief and rush that I get is palpable. I have gone from dressing at least once a week to very occasionally.
    Last edited by Debbie Denier; 07-25-2022 at 03:57 PM.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Kym,

    Yes I understand your pain as I had to go a really long time without dressing up during the worst of the lock down from Covid , and it made me do some things which are risky for getting outed. Fortunately I found I can balance things between my two worlds as long as I can occasionally get out. That is the trick for me, figuring out how much I have to dress up to keep the pink fog from slapping me around and making me do something stupid. I think the ability to look forward to my next outing is what keeps things in balance - delicate as it may be.

    Sandi

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member KymG's Avatar
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    Thanks for the replies ladies. I appreciate the support.
    Im dressed right now, felt the need all day. Damn it was a long one..

    I honestly think that dressing stops me looking for a partner. I cant date someone a few times and then say, btw i dress up from time to time.
    I dunno.

  15. #15
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    KymG, responding to the idea that you can't date...I'm going to disagree with you.

    There are many quite happily married crossdressers. There are of course many crossdressers whose wives do not support them. But, finding someone who does accept you...all of you...is possible, and I recommend it.

    Some years before I met my wife, I dated a woman who was completely unaccepting of my crossdressing. She criticized me for it at many opportunities. Hypocritically, she expected me to accept that she's bisexual (which I did; I don't care...but it was I thought hypocritical of her). That, along with some other experiences in my life with women, galvanized me that when I resolved I wasn't going to ever be in a long term relationship with or marry someone who wasn't accepting of my crossdressing. I simply refused to allow myself to be in such a relationship. Did that mean I was reducing the likely pool of potential mates? Absolutely. But, it didn't mean I gave up trying.

    Fast forward; met my wife, and we'd been dating ~3 months or so. We were headed down the highway and I told her about my crossdressing. I just accepted the possibility that she'd run for the hills, and that would be it. She didn't balk; two days later she bought me some pantyhose. The rest is history. Been married decades now.

    So, I do think you can tell someone you've been dating for a short while. It can and does work. The alternatives are not appealing (in my book); either 'A' being alone when you don't want to be alone or 'B' being married/in a long term relationship with someone who you are hiding from. Yes, telling could me losing someone you care about. But to me anyway, the alternatives are worse.

  16. #16
    New Member
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    I want to find a GG that will help put together an outfit and makeup routine that will compliment my body type.

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