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Thread: Future crossdressers

  1. #1
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Future crossdressers

    I'm starting this thread because I don't want to derail anyone else's thread.

    This was said in another thread:
    As to why it is taboo, it is because by cross dressing we are breaking one of society's norms.
    I just returned from an event at a canoe camp that my granddaughter attended in Canada. Boys and girls were both required to physically be skillful in operating the canoes including carrying them. I don't think any "prissiness" was allowed.

    The ages were 10 to 17 with at least 100 kids. There were MANY that already consider themselves "nonbinary", including my granddaughter. One person who was a she, now identifies as they/them, and has already had top surgery (breast removal) at age 17. (Whether I agree with that kind of change at a young age is irrelevant, it's not my decision but the parents must have been on board). Some were obviously wearing clothes of the other gender, and all were accepted. One boy was wearing a bow to tie back his long hair, and a few boys wore long dangly earrings. Differences were embraced. The entire experience was refreshing.

    My take-away thinking is that future crossdressers won't have the constraints that many here have lived with growing up. These kids were so accepting of others' differences and open minded. Hopefully, there won't be hiding or sneaking for most future CDers. I'm sure that there will always be those in the general public that don't like what they consider "the non- norm". But obviously "the norm" is changing and there will be a new and better norm.

    All of those here can be proud to be part of the change and the new normal. Many have paved the way and dealt with consequences of gender variants in public.

    Well done, everyone.
    Last edited by char GG; 07-24-2022 at 07:20 PM.

  2. #2
    its important mykell's Avatar
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    glad you/they had that experience....with the sudden rage against this in the US its refreshing to read about a positive....i am out at least once a week....i volunteer at a vanilla venue and i still get the odd stare but i persevere....5 ft 12...200#s i find it hard to blend but have a fun attitude with it....agendas do get pushed in our faces as my mrs has noted to me at times and that is what she has a hard time with....not just the trans stuff either....
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  3. #3
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
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    This is very refreshing to hear Char. One would hope each generation gets a little better with this, steady improvement and acceptance of differences. In spite of the attitudes of some, there is no "going back".
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  4. #4
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    So glad you posted about this.
    After talking to you I felt so positive,how everyone was so accepting of everyone. When someone had a question, it was respectful and a learning experience.
    We can only hope for the future where people feel free and not ashamed.
    So many here have shame and guilt and family?s that reject being different in their loved one.
    I know even with the 20- 30 year olds ( grands ) they are accepting of everyone.
    Hope
    And agree Char
    My take-away thinking is that future crossdressers won't have the constraints that many here have lived with growing up. These kids were so accepting of others' differences and open minded. Hopefully, there won't be hiding or sneaking for most future CDers. I'm sure that there will always be those in the general public that don't like what they consider "the non- norm". But obviously "the norm" is changing and there will be a new and better norm.

    All of those here can be proud to be part of the change and the new normal. Many have paved the way and dealt with consequences of gender variants in public.

    Well done, everyone.
    No more shame, sneaking and hiding just acceptance and tolerance of how ANYONE dresses or express themselves.
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  5. #5
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    Its nice to know that there is some progress evident in the younger generation. I hope we can keep moving forward!

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Char, Great post! Good to hear about your experience at the canoe camp. We can only hope this trend continues and keeps growing. Many here are on the older end of the CD/TG spectrum and have seen a dramatic amount of change since sites like this are here to help and support.
    Keeping my fingers crossed!
    Crissy

  7. #7
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    Anyone who has been out dressed in public sees that younger people are more accepting.

    Surveys show that kids today use alcohol less, have less teen pregnancy, lower drug use, all sorts of improvements over prior generations. Kids also have access to more information than prior generations, and have seemingly put that access to good use.
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  8. #8
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    I appreciate hearing about your observations. As a 76 year old cross dresser, I can assure you NONE of what you described would have been accepted by anyone (adult or child) when I was in the 10 - 17 age group. I'm glad these young people aren't blinded by the biases of others.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
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  9. #9
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Great post, Char. But, u barely touched on the big difference in young cross dressers of today compared to us dinosaurs!

    So many of them r non binary!

    Which is why nearly all the CD's and trans I see at LGBT friendly clubs and in big events r mostly over 50!

    Because young people of today don't need to go all the way when they cross dress like many of us oldsters do. And, unlike us, they r accepted by their peers!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  10. #10
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Wonderfully upbeat post Char

  11. #11
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Char, we have had this discussion at meetups of my local crossdressing groups. Younger people just don't have the fear of being outside of what was traditionally considered the norm. As such, the groups I belong to will eventually go away, as the support we find in each other may go away as the need for such groups will abate.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  12. #12
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Wonderful post, Char, and that must have been a fascinating environment to be in. In my view, it is the way it should be with everyone and not as remarkable as it is in this day. I also share your view that the future will likely be some version of what you experienced at that canoe camp. And perhaps will occur sooner than we might think.

    But I also recognize that the traditionalists are strong and we can see some powerful push back in some places. I think it really depends on how much the masses latch on to this hopeful and healthy perspective on non-traditional gender expressions, behavior and thinking. In Gina Rippon's book "Gender and Our Brains" she lays out in great detail the long history of gender perceptions and social actions with all the fake scientific tests and patriarchal domination that constantly kept women and those who would deviate from tradition creating an intensely biased and sometimes cruel world in this regard. Fascinating and instructive read. Some things that are happening in some locations are a strong throwback to those days of old that go back hundreds of years. The traditionalists are pushing back against anything that smacks of a new world that moves beyond the historical patterns. Even our social acceptance of same sex marriage which now seems so secure is threatened.

    On the other hand, the shifting of the young people toward a more egalitarian view of gender is also a powerful force that counters the push of the traditionalists. But the impact of the young people may be strong enough this time to counter that in much of society. We are definitely in a time of strong change. It is not a given that things will change to being a real, honest to goodness kinder, gentler world. There is much work yet to be done. It would be so grand to see a world develop where shame, fear, depression, discrimination, and prejudice keeps people from the freedom to be who they genuinely are.

  13. #13
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Char, couldn?t agree with you more. However, while the wheel is moving slowly, I believe things move slower in the Midwest. My children are much more aware, tolerant and accepting. There are so many smaller towns, family owned companies, conservative organizations, etc. it may take longer. But as they say, Rome wasn?t built in a day.

  14. #14
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    The steps that have been gained over the years are many.
    When I began we were all in a dark, private closet. As time progressed the door opened a little and some stepped into the light of day.
    Christine Jorgensen was the first I heard of. Then Rene Richards and others.
    Each generation has made progress towards acceptance and being more mainstream. I have seen this in the support group I belonged to. When I first attended we were all about the same age and that was mid 30's to mid 40's. We were venturing into unknown lands. As time went on things opened up to us and what I noticed is that the younger girls didn't join groups. Things were more available to them and the groups seemed to become irrelevant.
    Now there are so many pronouns, so many labels I can't keep up.
    I'm glad things are better for those that came after and I thank those that went before for opening the doors for me.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  15. #15
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    The fact the camp was in Canada did not escape me. Yes, the younger generation may be more accepting to allow a person to find others to socialize with, but I am not too sure about the general population. I hope these kids can find acceptance within their local communities.
    Last edited by char GG; 07-25-2022 at 09:08 PM. Reason: No politics please

  16. #16
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    It's nice to read this kind of post Char. I must confess that your depiction seemed almost too good to be true, like you took the wrong turn on some trail in the mountain and ended up in Shangri-La It gives hope that the newer generation seem more accepting. I don't think however that they move towards progress as a whole, there are also steps back to the 60's in some, for complicated reasons, but not the subject here.
    Would I be glad to live in these times? Probably, since when I started, very young, I wished I could be out to everyone and dress as I pleased. But water has run under the bridge since, and as an adult it isn't a clear cut anymore. My dressing has always been a transgressive act, crossing the gender boundary, doing it in secret. It is a world of fantasy now, more than reality, even if I lately tried to drive it back to the latter. The female side of transgression would quickly wear out in front of people both accepting and blurring the lines, and the secret side of it vanished since I told my wife. I am less eager to dress than I used to, even if I still dig it, and having boys dressing as girls and girls dressing as boys (or more like, people dressing as people, actually) may be the last nail in my dressing's coffin, leaving me more confused than comforted. Then again, I may be wrong, and it's possible that I would thrive in such a world, knowing no boundaries and just going with the flow. Anyway, thanks, you gave me much to think.
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  17. #17
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Wonderful post Char

    We can only hope this trend continues despite some the rhetoric we hear for some people.

    Its always good to hear good news.
    Shelly

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  18. #18
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    The fact the camp was in Canada did not escape me.
    I must clarify here. The camp is in Canada but most people working there, and most campers are from the USA. Some campers were from Mexico, and a few from Canada. Last year, when Canada had strict Covid restrictions, they moved the camp canoe trips to the Minnesota boundary waters. The directors of the camp are from the USA.
    Last edited by char GG; 07-25-2022 at 12:03 PM.

  19. #19
    Silver Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Does that mean we can start hanging around with Teens?

  20. #20
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Char , interesting post. I have also noticed what doc mentioned about younger people in the clubs being much more comfortable to present however they wish as well. I get a lot of acceptance from the younger people when I go out, and I think it is great.

    Sandi

  21. #21
    Member Larissa Cassandra's Avatar
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    Char, thank you for the post. It is encouraging to think what a more open and accepting future might be in store for our younger generations. I envy them.

    In the meantime, while I'm scared to go out fully dressed (so far), I've been taking some "baby steps." I've been out mostly in drab, but with my nails painted, or wearing pink or purple socks with shorts, or have my shoulder length hair flowing in the breeze rather than in a low pony tail, or wearing leggings to the store. My (totally unscientific!) theory is that as the general public sees more of this kind of partial crossdressing, it might ease their "transition" (pun intended) to a better understanding that clothing does not make the person. I would encourage other closeted crossdressers to consider doing the same. I haven't had any kind of staring or other negative reactions, so I feel safe continuing to do this, and maybe in time add one or two items to my femme presentation, and in the long run go all "out" (pun not intended).

  22. #22
    Senior Member Debbie Denier's Avatar
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    Char, brilliant post. The difference now is that it is in the open accepted and in mainstream society. Laws have changed and most employers have diversity and LGBT training and courses. 40 years ago it was underground. No internet, support groups and nightclubs were found by word of mouth. It was and is against the social norms. The consequences then were worse than now and often resulted in individuals being banished from their families and friends.Support is also now more readily available and accessible from mainstream government agencies than it was in the past.
    Last edited by Debbie Denier; 07-25-2022 at 03:32 PM.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    I think and hope that in the future what we do will not be called "crossdressing". I see more and more "gender fluid" people in the streets and working in shops, who just wear the clothes and make up they want to wear. My granddaughter gave me a lecture about people being "gender fluid"; she explained that it is perfectly normal.
    It is a shame that it is too late for me.
    And, yes, perhaps my granddaughter knows what I wear in private.
    Luv J

  24. #24
    Member Larissa Cassandra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jacques View Post
    I think and hope that in the future what we do will not be called "crossdressing".
    Luv J
    I agree 100%! My wife actually coined a term "freedressing," but I think just "dressing" however you want should be the way of the future.

  25. #25
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    Interesting post!
    Random thoughts ...
    1. I agree that younger people are more accepting of diversity.
    2. I think that the reason most CDers on this site are in the 50+ age group is the very feminine style of dressing which we grew up with in the 1940s - 1970s.
    3. I fear that those in the 50+ age group who struggle with change and still hold political power will push back on this evolution in gender awareness. There is a long struggle still ahead of us, but the next generation will eventually prevail.
    4. There are many factors which have contributed to the move from dressing well, to dressing comfortably. The most recent one is climate change. Dressing to impress involves wearing clothes that are hot and uncomfortable.
    5. I do worry a bit about young people who decide to undergo surgery too soon.
    6. Nothing is quite as sure as change!

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