I'm thinking like passive father, domineering mother.
I'm thinking like passive father, domineering mother.
My family most definitely had an influence, but probably not the way they thought. To start with my older sister wanted a sister and called me a girl name when I was born, much to my dad's amusement, and when I was old enough to play with her, she dressed me up as a girl complete with wig. The family had pi?s of us like that and laughed about it. Later my mom owned a dress shop and I was surrounded with women's clothes and even went to the wholesalers when my mom was buying new fashions. So yeah, I think that may have had some influence on it. They probably didn't mean to and my dad wouldn't have supported it at all.
Those two family dynamics are incredibly out-dated, stereotypical notions. Of course, some individual might identify with those characteristics, but large bodies of research have pretty much demonstrated that the stereotypes are not valid.
As characters, no. They were vocally anti-LGBT to me, which I think was more a misguided effort to make me the perfect little boy and a proper man when I grew up.
They started too late. They should have started that before my mum used to as a model for her dressmaking business, and before they let my sister and friend dress me up in my sister's clothes.
Not at all. When I was in elementary grades in a consolidated school, I found myself attracted to the High Schools girls in their late 50s and early 60s clothes and makeup. A drastic difference between them and my rather simply dressed mother and younger sister. I had both a "fear" and "Fascination" about them.
Both my dressers had these very strange dysfunctional families .Very.
#1 very vacant, negative , ineffective father ..did as little as possible with the boys ( or anyone) and the mom had to teach them to do everything with him criticizing all of them yet not helping. Dad never went anywhere with them or showed any affection at all. Plus women in his country have become so domme that men are relegated to this odd status there . All 3 of the sons are really socially dysfunctional.
#2 Dad committed suicide when Kat was 7 or 9 ..and became substitute husband to an overbearing possessive mom that HATED OMG HATED men.. he was told over and over and over again how horrible in every way men were. She was actually very torn up over the loss of her husband but coped with it in an unhealthy manner with her son. Gender counselor didnt see the above ^^ as a problem though and is why I would never recommend one..ever.
I don't think that this is the only cause of GD in anyway but its one. I lived it.
Last edited by Dutchess; 07-26-2022 at 02:09 PM.
IG : Knightress Oxide
No they did not.
"Care about what other people think of you and you will always be their prisoner" - Lao Tzu
Not in any way that I can think of. We were pretty much a normal, middle class family with no drama of any kind. Think of Leave It To Beaver and Mayberry.
It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.
I admired my mom and her sister as persons and wasn't as close to my dad nor did I look up to his social attitudes. He walked around the house naked, my mom did not, I had to peek and I liked what I saw. I really wanted to look and act like her!
Not at all . Agree with Kim as to the stereotypes.Trying mothers clothes as a child was definitely an influence.
More like mostly absent father, and feminizing mother. Dad worked all day and most evenings and weekends. Mom dressed me in my older sister's hand me downs; she didn't know what to do with a boy, as when she grew up in the depression her own mother had often left her in charge of her younger sisters.
When my dad came home from work for lunch early one day and found me in a dress, he blew a gasket and put a stop to that (for the most part). But mom still used my sister's underpants, with red and blue stripes sewn into their waistband, telling me that they were also 'Fruit of the Loom' briefs like my dad's, just that the label had been removed. But I knew the truth. Still, I didn't have much choice. I still wound up with a lot of my sister's hand-me-downs.
She would also often put off getting my hair cut, but as it was the sixties and the hippie movement was spreading, that wasn't noticed much.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
At home I had a mother and three older sisters. My sisters use to dress me as a girl, plus some of my hand me downs were from my sisters.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
I had a difficult family background and was horribly bullied at school (nothing to do with CDing) and it certainly was a kind of escape, but I don’t think I would have been draw to it if there wasn’t something innate pushing me that way.
VERY indirectly.
I had a father that I only remember as being either angry and verbally abusive, or drunk. Sometimes both.
I swore to myself that when I grew up, I'd be NOTHING like him. Maybe I took that oath a bit too far?
But no - there was no encouragement or feminizing behavior in my upbringing. Quite the opposite, in fact.
My feminine traits are all my own - it's who I've always been.
I think that may be a big part of why, my mother is pretty dominant and my father was passive. Also my mother really wanted a girl instead of a boy when I was born. My little sister was also spoiled so maybe I wanted to be more like her. No matter what influenced me, I now love and accept the way I am. Just wish my wife would be attracted to me.
Originally Posted by Pink_Butterfly
My mother wore nylon granny panties. To her they were probably utilitarian, no prints or patterns, but to me they were perfect. If my mother's underwear was cotton like mine, I am sure I would have shown no interest.
Other than that, totally normal childhood.
My mother was very domineering and my biological father abandoned us when I was about one. He came around sometimes and I tried to like him but ultimately failed. But, as Kim said, that aspect as being the cause has now been relegated to the very low probability list. Clearly it influences development, but it is not a cause. We are this way mostly because that is the way we are wired, however experiences are also a part of the development of that foundation.
My mother remarried when I was 6 and he had a bit of a masculinizing effect on me but it was only a modifier of what was already there. He was a good father and a very good person. I think they both knew that their son was a bit of a girl in some ways and tried to push the alternative with only moderate success. Probably explains why, when it comes to identity today, I am very much a 50-50 person - fairly androgynous psychologically.
my mother left her nylons and stuff making them.very accessible to me to feed my curiosity. had she not done that, i probably wouldn't be dressing now.
My parents were homophobic. The popular thinking in the 1960's was any man who wore women's clothing was a homosexual. Influence? It was beaten into my head that I was defective. Total confusion. How could a boy and then a young man do all the male things and have the male feelings that society deemed necessary and still have a desire to wear women's clothing and dabble with makeup? No internet, no publications. Contrary to the popular thinking of the current days, there was no way in hell that a man would divulge his secret to anyone, including a potential wife.
On a more positive side to your query I'd say I am a product of those times (1950's and 1960's) as I only wear dresses with all the proper undergarments. At least in my neighborhood all the women wore dresses. I do remember some women making snide comments about the one woman who wore pants. And, she was also divorced. Yikes! Heaven forbid a woman was divorced. I watched "Leave It to Beaver" and "Ozzie and Harriet" where June Cleaver and Harriet Nelson probably influenced me more than anyone else. I think the other woman who has influenced me in my interest in dresses has been Vanna White of "Wheel of Fortune." With all, it was and has been dresses and heels.
An older brother dared me to put on a bra and stuff the cups when I was 6-ish. So yeah that was the first domino that fell. It wasn't long before I thought; what would I look like if I wore an entire women's outfit?
So yes I was affected by my family!
For me it was my Mom and sisters. My Dad passed away when I was 2 years old. My Aunt moved in with us to help my mom raise us. I had 2 older sister's so my aunt was a great help. We didn't have much money so I got all of my sister's hand-me-downs. My mom work during the day so my aunt took care of us while she worked. My Aunt let my hair grow long, she said that I would look more like my sister's that way. We all had blonde hair. She always dressed me in the morning in either a dress or shorts and a top. I had my own panties but had to wear my sister's bras. She and my mom would always say they had 3 daughters. My sisters would teach me about girly stuff and eventually my makeup. So for me that's how it all started. My sister's still call me their little sis. Love them all.
Melony sounds like you have a very loving and understanding family!
Last edited by char GG; 07-27-2022 at 10:18 PM. Reason: Not necessary to quote the post just before yours
Mother always told me I was supposed to have been born a girl. Started dressing when I was 7, just after my sister was born. Father was always working and never around much. They divorced when I was 9 or 10. Mom always wore dresses with girdles and stockings. We were about the same size and I would borrower her clothes while she was at work. My grandmother also had the best collection of old fashion girdles and corsets which I had access to when she was working.
Karen,
Did you ever get caught? I was talking with my wife last night about all of the dressing I did growing up. I can't believe I never got caught, that I know of.
Tracy
My mother and her girlfriends dressed me up for a Haloween party won first prize!
Never looked back except for military years (4).
That was 60 years ago.
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