When Worlds Collide

[TheHiddenMe]

I have a GG friend Michelle and we get together on a regular basis (on average, once to twice a month). This is a story that extends over multiple months.

In January Michelle and I were at a local Hooter's (her choice--we usually gobble down a plate of nachos) and she invited a guy she was dating then ("B") to join us. Understand, if we are out together, and Michelle knows someone, she will always introduce them to me. Always. I've made new acquaintances that way. Michelle tells me in advance they met online but B's daughter plays volleyball with Michelle's younger daughter (Michelle gives him the nickname "volleyball dad").

Anyway, B shows up and we talk for probably an hour and then I left. Soon thereafter, I leave for Australia, and Michelle starts dating another guy.

Fast forward to mid May. I'm doing a coaching clinic for kids younger than high school, to get them interested in the sport I coach. I'm working with a sixth grade girl, and I interact with the kids, and find out she's a volleyball player for the same team as Michelle's daughter. I ask her if she knows "M" (Michelle's daughter), and the girl asks if her mother is named Michelle. I answer yes.

My "spidey sense" is starting to go off. I ask her why she's here for the clinic. She tells me her brother is a freshman on the boys team that I coach. Interesting.

I later confirm that "B" is indeed the dad of a freshman I've been coaching for the past two months.

Now the question is, has "B" put two plus two together and made the connection that Michelle's friend Dee is her son's high school coach? I'm not sure, but I try not to interact with "B" that much going forward. Whenever "B" sees me after (a couple of times) he just refers to me as "Coach" and gives no indication he knows my secret. I last see "B" in early June at our end of season awards banquet.

Fast forward again to mid July. Michelle and I have a fun night out at a rooftop bar in St. Louis. The day before, because she is on the outs with her boyfriend, tells me about meeting up with "B" and tells me about the rough weekend "B" had with "B" then (and now ex) girlfriend.

Michelle, for better or worse, has no filter. That's how we met (she did my nails for a girl trip I was doing, we talked and hit it off, and have been friends since). She makes a comment about the son and the coach, and "B" has no idea of what she was talking about. "B" had not made the connection, but Michelle fessed up. So "B" now knows. We are driving home and Michelle is texting "B" and I'm just relaying to Michelle to ask him to keep it to himself. I think he will.

As the boys season is in the spring I won't likely see "B" again until next March or after, but I'm sure we'll have an interesting chat then.

Am I worried? Nope. I live in a progressive state and I can't be terminated (I'm essentially a volunteer). If people find out, I'll deal.

But I thought those here would enjoy reading my story.

And, just as a reassurance for those out there, someone who I met literally face-to-face and then met later did not recognize the two were one and the same.

[docrobbysherry]

THM, I believe u go out with Michelle dressed? But, it took me quite a ways into your interesting tale to figure that out!

[Crissy 107]

Dee, Interesting read and I can understand how that can happen, maybe a very long shot but it happened. Let’s hope B keeps quiet but that too may be a long shot.
If it were me I would be concerned but would be playing it by ear next March, nothing else to do. Good luck!

[Sandi Beech]

Interesting position to be in, but the good thing is you are not financially dependent on your volunteer job so what is the worst thing that could happen? It is kind of weird how we can have connections between people we are not aware of. Since you are not doing the dressing at the coaching job, it seems unlikely people would complain.

Sandi

[Tracy Irving]

Very interesting story. Thanks for sharing.

[alwayshave]

Dee, I hope that it all works out and you keep your coaching position.

[TheHiddenMe]

My wife asks me the same about the coaching. I have been doing it now for 10 years and I've built up a lot of goodwill with the other coaches (including the coaches at other high schools), the players, and parents. If it comes up, I will own it. At a public high school with 2,000+ students, I am sure more than a few are LGBT (one of our former players came out as gay a couple of years ago on Facebook), and I would be happy to speak to students about my experiences.

I also coach girls so I wonder what their reaction would be knowing I dress.

I am financially independent, retired (just passed the 10 year mark), so finances aren't an issue (I am the paid boys assistant, because no one else at the school wants the job, and I donate almost all the net pay back to the program).

I wish Michelle hadn't said anything, but that's just her being her, and as she accepts me unconditionally and has since the start, I can handle it.

Ironically, I've seen four people I know while out dressed, and.three are related to the sport I coach--two other coaches and one I play with (seen him a couple of times at my favorite bar). None of the four have recognized me (to the best of my knowledge).

There are risks to going out, but we tend to overestimate those risks. The rewards are far, far greater than any of the risks. YOLO, and YMMV, but I am very happy to make the trade.

[Jean 103]

This is why I had to come out. As my world's started to collide. My coming out was like the biggest non-event ever, nobody cared.

I've been living as Jean for years now and my world has totally flipped.

[kimdl93]

I have similar potential overlaps between my private life, family relationships and work. I have to stay on top of this in order to not upset the situation accidentally. I will admit, my life would simplify in some respects if I just came out entirely.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

I remember watching "When Worlds Collide" when I was a kid. Silly me, had no idea it was about crossdressing.

[Kandi Robbins]

Dee, I can relate. Last Saturday, I met a friend, with whom I have been running with for about three years, for a 14 miler. We ran together, talking for a lot of it, for well over two hours. We have done this many times.

Then I head home, get dressed in a lovely navy blue MK cocktail dress and go to work at the Human Rights Campaign dinner. I am the main greeter. Unbeknownst to me, my friend and his wife attend. They walk up, I greet them (again, we were just together a few hours prior and I always speak in my male voice) and they move on. Had zero clue! Since I was at an LGBT event, I called him back and basically outed myself. I then find out they have a gay son and his wife is director of diversity and inclusion at a local college. I was smiling all evening and now have another friend!

People really have to be looking to figure out who we are when out dressed. Most are too focused on their circumstances to notice.

[TheHiddenMe]

I remember watching "When Worlds Collide" when I was a kid. Silly me, had no idea it was about crossdressing.

Don't you know EVERYTHING is about crossdressing????

Kandi, the other time I encountered someone out in public was one of the women in a running group I used to run with. I was coming out of Target, she was going in.

What was your reaction when they were walking up? Just curious.

[Kandi Robbins]

What was your reaction when they were walking up? Just curious.

When I am at an LGBT event, my spidey sense doesn't really tingle since I know anyone there would be supportive. For me, it happened so quickly, it took a second to process before I called him back and chided him for not reading me since we had just spent a few hours together that morning. No lie here, it felt really good to do that!