A self defense class and something in your purse/pocket to protect yourself with can't be all bad. Even if you do pass, some folks just grew up without any raisin, as my grandmother used to say.
A self defense class and something in your purse/pocket to protect yourself with can't be all bad. Even if you do pass, some folks just grew up without any raisin, as my grandmother used to say.
Sounds like Rufus and Bubba from Prineville heard about all the depravity in Portland and made a special trip to "do somethin' about it". Their use of the "fag" term betrays a... shall we say less-than-cosmopolitan understanding social norms. At any rate, they are, as DianeT says, almost certainly insecure bullies.
Portland is a progressive and LGBT-friendly city, but like any other, one will encounter the occasional asshole. I would love to have heard the conversation that the responding officers had with these cretins.
Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".
There most emphatically is still hate in this world, and will be for generations to come. It can be exceptionally hard to think we've made so much progress when confronted with situations like this. We have, and we will continue to strive forward...sometimes painfully as in this situation.
This was a very, very difficult situation. The bright side; the employees took your side as did the police. This IS progress. 20 years ago, you likely would have been arrested for going into the women's restroom.
Amazing that you shared this story. I actually logged on just to ask all of us that dress if the current climate was making them worry more about dressing and going out.
I am particularly curious because I only get to go out in October. Doing so when I have Halloween as my excuse is the only time my wife is fine with Kimmy getting out of the house. I am hazing professional photos taken in Oct. Later in the afternoon. That same evening my wife would like to go to a headless horseman event about two hours away, but the time I need to fully change precludes this. So me, being ever helpful, offered to take a blouse, leggings, and different shoes to the photographer with me and stay Kim for the evening. A quick change instead of removing everything. Most years this would have Been okay with my wife. Is anyone here more apprehensive than normal? I personally don't think it will be anything abnormal, but I would like others opinions also.
P.s. not trying to steal this thread. If the mods need to move this my thanks and my apologies.
Last edited by char GG; 08-24-2022 at 07:30 AM. Reason: Removed references to potential thoughts that may take this thread to an area not allowed on this forum
Yes, it's an unfortunate incident. Next time, don't head to the restroom, head to a service desk and ask them for security to come handle it, or have them call the police.
They were a-holes, but don't let the a-holes win.
The rest of us should chill, honestly. Personal defense classes? Bear spray? I've got enough in my purse without bear spray.
The trans individuals who are most at risk are those in the sex trade.
Those who go out at safe public locations--yes those vanilla places--are at no greater risk than non TG individuals.
I've been out over 250 times (probably closer to 500) and I've never had an issue. I've been to malls, bars, restaurants, concerts, stores, etc. On the other hand, getting out has been lots of fun and I've made friends in a local group and on my own.
Yes, be smart, but going out dressed is not a high risk activity, unless you are silly enough to go to places where you'd be at risk no matter how you are dressed.
I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:
https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/
So sorry you had to endure that.
Seems like Portland is a hotbed of hate with a few malcontent hate groups in the area.
I live in Kentucky and people are friendly here and don't act that way generally.
I have been out since 2008 and 24/7 since 2011 and life has been very normal.
Thank you everyone that has taken time to voice support for me. While it was a horrible experience for me, it does not change who I am, and that I will continue to present at times as Barbara. I will just be a bit more careful about my surroundings. As for the police and charges of harassment against them, my understanding was, I could have pressed charges, but that opens a big mess for me personally. I am still more closeted that out. When Barbara is out and about, it is done in hiding from my wife, family, and coworkers. If I was to press charges, i would most likely have to go to court. (How does on tell their spouse they have to go testify at court for being someplace they were not suppose to be.....?) Please spare me the talk about being open with my wife. It is how I have to live for now unfortunately. Also my work life intersects a lot with the law enforcement world in the area where I live. It is very probable that I would have been outed to many people that I am not ready to be outed to yet. So, I chose to be the silent victim again.
For those of you that mentioned that this is the exact reason you don't dress in public, that is totally up to you to do, but please don't let my couple of bad experiences (for those that read my post a couple of years ago....) deter you. Barbara is out 1-2 times a month, sometimes by herself and other times with friends. Barbara is who I am, and I am not going to hide her because of some jerks that want to intimidate me. Be yourself, yes its scary sometimes going out in public, but 99.999% of the time, no one will say a word to you.
Until next time
Barbara
I am so sorry for you. Why do some people just have to be a jerk. Why do they have to express there hate, we all don?t like something but we keep it to ourselves.
GG's can all mostly say the same thing; most have never been physically or sexually attacked (though they may have had to do some maneuvering to avoid a potential problem, which is far more likely); but they know the danger is there, and it affects how they must live their lives. You don't see single women walking alone late at night through desolate areas, where as, many of us men don't give it a second thought, especially the largest of us.Originally Posted by TheHiddenMe
Whenever I read something like this, one of the things that goes through my mind, is, well, many of us dream of having a truly female experience. And here it is: having to run from being attacked by a man/men, just for trying to live through a day, as being the girl we feel we are, trying not to bother anyone else, or be bothered by anyone else.
Can't get more genuine an experience, than that.
It's not a safe world. It may seem like it most of the time, but then something like what happened to Barbara, reminds us that there are plenty of people still out there, that absolutely hate us.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
If you are going to quote me, quote me in context.
I don't live my life thinking there is always a rain cloud over my head. I think that would be a pretty sad way to live.Those who go out at safe public locations--yes those vanilla places--are at no greater risk than non TG individuals.
I've been out over 250 times (probably closer to 500) and I've never had an issue. I've been to malls, bars, restaurants, concerts, stores, etc. On the other hand, getting out has been lots of fun and I've made friends in a local group and on my own.
Yes, be smart, but going out dressed is not a high risk activity, unless you are silly enough to go to places where you'd be at risk no matter how you are dressed.
I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:
https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/
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