Why is there a need to pair them!

[Princess Chantal]

So there is a wide assumption that most male gymnasts, florists, dancers, fashionistas, or interior designers are gay. Why do we not see heterosexual people say I am a heterosexual dancer, etc?

[DianeT]

I can't say, I didn't venture much in male gymnasts and florists forums discussing their intimate life. And if you didn't either, you too are making an assumption here. Also, the subject of crossdressing verges a bit more on sexuality topics I suppose than discussions about floral art or parallel bars, it doesn't take a lot of browsing the current forums to realize that it is a frequent theme here; so let's not ignore the elephant in the room.
To be honest, it seems to me like you are asking a question that you may have already answered yourself. If so, why don't you lay the cards on the table so we can stop shooting in the dark and debate in a more interesting way? For example, do you think, like some suggest, that some of us ladies do "protest too much", and that everyone being vocal about one's heterosexuality is in fact bi or gay and in denial about it? Or, like others suggested too in past threads, that us members having a wife subscribed to the forums are trying to reassure her by stressing the fact that we are not gay?

[Bea_]

I am heterosexual and not proud or ashamed of that fact. There are many here that fit other categories, and I've got no problem with that. I mentioned in the past to my wife that I follow this forum. She wasn't particularly pleased with that fact but dealt with that knowledge by just not acknowledging it. In her mind, without looking into the matter, she sees the possibility that this site is a hookup site. If she ever felt the need to ask/demand to see what I posted here, I want the fact that I state upfront, publicly where I stand to be totally evident.

But, there's also the fact that it is easier to understand where another person is coming from if they make certain things clear up front. I don't care if you are gay, bi asexual or trans. But, it's easier to understand your point of view if that's known up front. It avoids certain assumptions. Seeing our similarities and our differences is useful.

[_jenni_]

So there is a wide assumption that most male gymnasts, florists, dancers, fashionistas, or interior designers are gay. Why do we not see heterosexual people say I am a heterosexual dancer, etc?

Because you don?t call out the generally accepted international cultural norm you call out the divination from the baseline.

[Gillian Gigs]

Gender and sexual confusion can occur within young people. We just need to leave them alone to figure it out without outside interference. If somebody wants to wear the clothes they want to, so what! Would we get upset if any child wanted to dress like a cowboy for a season, or an astronaut? We spend too much time trying to pigeon hole people into boxes. CD'er come in all shapes, sizes, colours and sexual orientations.

[Princess Chantal]

Diane,
I am not of the protest too much mindset. If someone states that they are of one particular sexual identity that is what they are to me until they tell me otherwise. It is not my place to think or say someone is in identity denial.
I was asking the question(s) in hopes to strike out my initial thoughts that it could be most likely internalized homophobic (or is it transphobic) reasonings for the pairing of heterosexual identity with the person’s crossdressing.

[Barbara Jo]

Personally, I just pair colors

[DianeT]

Chantal, I understand. Persons of a certain age like me were almost certainly raised in a society that did not accept homosexuality as much as it is now, so you can't discard the fact that we had influences like this, prejudicial to gay and lesbian persons, and as much as we try to not be subject to these biases, we may have internalized some, to some extent. But from what I read in these forums so far, prejudice doesn't seem to be the reason for members stressing their heterosexuality. I think that for some of us, the act of crossdressing may question your own sexuality since it is based on gender expression, and gender expression can relate to sexuality*. I have seen many people mentioning their heterosexuality in these forums, but many gay members did mention their homosexuality too, so it doesn't seem specifically related to heterosexuals. In my case, I almost never asked myself if I could have gay feelings or desires before I came out to my wife, after which I made it a topic of research, since this is something that typically concerns wives after a CDer's coming out, along with the transitioning question. This may lead to mentioning our sexual orientation more than usual in forum conversations. A gay crossdresser isn't in the same situation, her partner knows she is gay and won't ask the question, and I suspect she won't get questions about heterosexual tendencies (at least not in the context of a coming out as a CDer), although she may get ones about transitioning.

*sexuality may influence, for example, what you consider female cues

[kimdl93]

It was a good question, Chantal! I love your picture threads, but this was definitely thought provoking.

for me, at least, it reminded me of the very definite state of confusion, muddled with the fears of being ostracized and denied the possibilities of life. Repression is such a powerful force, whether one is repressing the desire to wear womens clothes (for whatever reason) or aspects of ones sexuality, or both!

[Krisi]

I don't think I have ever mentioned my sexuality here except in response to a question.

I think many of the general public associates dressing as a woman with homosexuality. From my experience and what I have read here, that's not generally the case. Yes, there are many homosexual crossdressers, but there are many more straight crossdressers.

[krissysSecret]

Personally, I just pair colors

I’m with you Barbara Jo! And…I’m a florist!