Attractive...or attract?

[michelleddg]

Hello Lovely Ladies!

We all want to look good. We primp, preen, pluck, powder and pad so as to be attractive in the mirror, attractive to our lady friends and, yes, attractive to men folk. As I am fond of saying, I wanna make the boys cry.

But...from a distance, thank you! I'd be mortified to get hit on. I'm happily married, not into guys in any way, please keep your distance. Does that make me the ultimate tease?

I once went to dinner with a fellow CD I did not know well. She really really wanted to end the evening with a good night kiss. That was years ago, and I still shudder thinking about it. Understandable, or overreacting?

So, I want to be attractive...but not attract. How about you? Whatcha think?

Hugs, Michelle

[kimdl93]

I really dress for myself?and my bar is pretty low. I seek to not be either laughable or terrifying. A few years back, I was on occasion offered a few drinks by guys and from a few women. Never been known to turn down a free drink, but at the time I was (I thought) happily married, so I was not interested in anything more. Now, I find myself single, but a decade away from the bar scene and still trying to rise above my low personal threshold for appearance.

[Karren H]

I want to be pretty. And if that is attractive then so be it and if it attracts. I can deal with that (aka: faithful to my wife to the end).

[sometimes_miss]

I want to be pretty.

I just want to FEEL as if I'm pretty. I know the reality, but as long as there aren't any mirrors, or anyone to upset the illusion, I feel just pretty enough, by what I can see and feel on me.

[Annajose]

I want to be atractive, I would be extremelly suspicious of anyone hitting on me, I cannot pass, well, maybe from a mile away.
In any case I would probably be also very flattered.
But of course, that would be as far as I would go, I am happily married and I love my wife. I am also not into guys at all, and fortunatelly, since many years back, when I see a very atractive lady, my only desire is to be able to look like her!
So not to attract, for me anyway.

[Patience]

Yeah, I don't know about the kissing part.

It's a bit of a catch-22, really. If your aim is to look feminine (and you do a great job, btw), the more successful you are at it, the more likely it is you will be attractive to men.

With that in mind, it might be a good idea to have a few strategies in place in case you get hit on or get any kind of unwanted attention. In certain circumstances, it might make sense to have pepper spray.

Being pretty is a hard job, but someone has to do it!

[TAG]

One thing you can do is wear a wedding band and engagement ring.
I used to get hit on by guys but not being a drinker I never accepted a free drink.
I would accept a dance from a guy or an occasional kiss after the dance.

I agree with Patience 100%

[docrobbysherry]

I get hit on a lot online. But, in real life my ugly old mug would stop a clock, much less a trans chaser!

However, over the years I have been hit on by a number of nice men. Including one in a club 2 weeks ago rite after I put my mask on!

I'm straight so don't accept drinks from strange men because I won't give them what they want and don't wish to be a pr---- tease!

But, in all my years out meeting men? Not one of them ever wanted to kiss me, except one freak that insisted I let kiss my mask!

[Barbara Jo]

it has been often said that generally, males dress to impress females and woman dress to impress other females.
Of course, the exception to this is when a female purposely dresses to attract a male(s).

I would wager that most of us also like to impress other females.

[Fiona_44]

Michelle,

Some CD's don't want anyone to pay attention to them at all when they are out & about. Maybe they are worried about the ramifications of being clocked or just simply want to go about their business without giving a hoot what others think. Other CD's however desire the attention of others in order to validate the fact that they do indeed appear to be a woman and are doing the correct things with regards to mannerisms or make-up or dress styles ...etc. But that doesn't necessarily make them a tease. When I went out in public en femme the first 2 or 3 times, I dressed very frumpy not wanting anyone to look my way. But now even though I dress stylishly to blend in most of the time, I occasionally wear a short mini-skirt or other short skirts or a short dress and march out with the attitude like "Okay people, here I am, go ahead and have a look!". I like the attention but am not trying to intentionally attract anyone in an overtly sexual manner. I also do not have any interest in men and if approached I would very nicely let them know how I felt.

But your point is well taken. Being an attractive CD means that you will occasionally get approached by someone but the best thing is to anticipate that will happen and formulate a nice but clear response that will insure the situation will not escalate into something uncomfortable.

[Heisthebride]

I think everyone dreams of being attractive, people looking at you and envious of your beauty. But that’s just a dream. For myself, I try to look the part as best I can, so generally I will dress to the nines if I’m going out and will be seen. As I’ve gotten older I will do a more casual look, especially when alone around the house and working from home. I have no expectations of meeting someone or having a pass made at me, but I am happy to receive a compliment on my nails, makeup or dress.

[Sandi Beech]

Michelle,

I try to look as attractive as I can be when I go out. For restaurant attire, I wear things others might, but I definitely go for killer
looks when clubbing. I often draw attention but from both women and men. It comes with the territory. Judging by other's responses it seems I have more experience than most regarding being "hit on", but that is not my main goal. Some might suspect otherwise, but I really just like being the center of attention and the feeling of being pretty and sexy - a total escape from reality. Granted I am getting too old for that sort of thing, but it has not stopped me yet.

I do want to dispel some myths.

1. Being "hit on" has such a negative connotation. It is far ranging in scope. It could be something as innocent as someone politely offering to buy you a drink and have a nice chat, or maybe just wanting to give you a complement or a hug as they are leaving a bar. That is no big deal. Then there is the other extreme where they ask if you want to go out to their car for some action. The two are not the same, but we tend to lump it all together as unwanted attention. Some may want it, and some not. I prefer the polite attention obviously, but there is no need to freak out over someone asking if they can buy you a drink. It happens to me a lot, but drinks must always come from the bartender, not the individual paying for them. Never leave drinks unattended. Not for a second. If you do, get a fresh one.

2. Just like Char said, forget the idea that your ring will stop anyone. I have been to 31 clubs for likely over 100 total outings, so I have a very good sampling. The ones who are just being nice don't care to look at your ring either, because they do not want anything, so forget the effects of the ring. I never take mine off.

3. Don't think you are immune from being hit on because you do not pass. There are all kinds of people, and you can not judge a book by its cover. If you have legs you will get hit on at some point if you venture out enough. Just keep that in mind.

Being hit on in clubs does not bother me at all. I have never really felt afraid of anyone in any club. I did get mad at one drunk which I posted about some time ago, but that is it. Going to my car in a dark parking lot by myself at 3 AM when leaving a club - now that scares me. It is times like that where you are truly vulnerable. That is why I use Uber for drop off and pick up right at the front door of the clubs I visit.

I suppose you could say I am a tease - more like a show off, but it is from the standpoint of being seen with young women in short skirts a fraction of my age. We have a blast being the center of attention. It is some of the most fun I have ever had. - Next outing in a couple of weeks : )

Sandi

[mbmeen12]

I dress for success.....for the date of for ever the evening brings.

[Kris Burton]

For me, it's all about the fantasy. I do strive to be attractive, and if it attracts, so be it - the fantasy is enhanced. Not a deliberate tease, but someone who attracts that kind of attention - in fantasyland. However, if it were ever to happen in real life I don't know what I would do. So yeah, Patience, I need a plan if I ever go out publicly to a bar or gathering where this sort of thing might occur - and have it firmly in mind before I make a complete fool of myself.

[JackieD]

I would love to dress and be attractive. To look good in my clothes. But at my size it will never be. You really don?t find that many attractive woman at over 6? tall. I kinda hide try to blend in. But I have my fantasy

[Linda Stockings]

I can agree, to some extent, with just about all the answers above. I would like to add that if you go out dressed enough times, sooner or later you will probably be hit on by some guy. In my case I wasn't expecting it or looking for it to happen. I was dressed in a navy blue skirt suit, blouse, nice wig, 31/2 inch heels, and nude pantyhose. It was in the late 90's. My makeup was light and (I hoped) natural looking. I was window shopping at a local Dressbarn. The owner walked up with a couple of carpenter contractors and she started telling them how she wanted the store display window changed. One of the contractors looked me up and down several times and finally said "OKAY.....". What was wrong was his tone of voice. I half expected him to follow up by suggesting we go behind the building for some nasty things. I felt rotten. I felt somewhat violated. It made me realize that if I blended at all it was only from a long distance. So I had thought I was presenting as a well dressed professional lady. There were some other times of being clocked. The worst time was by a plain clothed police officer in a shopping mall. Which I've described in detail in a previous post and won't bore you with the details here. Suffice to say he was very rude and made no bones about using a loud tone. So, I guess...... expect it, and be prepared for whatever way it occurs.

[char GG]

If you end up attracting chasers, they won't be deterred by a wedding ring set or even a wife/gf sitting next to you. (This happened with my hubby). You have to be politely firm if you don't want that kind of attention. Typically, take care which venue you choose to limit or increase your chances of being hit on.

Chasers usually know what to say to flatter their prey. They might fully know who the CDers are.

[Di]

If you end up attracting chasers, they won't be deterred by a wedding ring set or even a wife/gf sitting next to you. (This happened with my hubby). You have to be politely firm if you don't want that kind of attention. Typically, take care which venue you choose to limit or increase your chances of being hit on.

Chasers usually know what to say to flatter their prey. They might fully know who the CDers are.

Read the above and read it again .
Chasers know exactly what to say and feed into your wanting to feel like a woman.
Beware.

About the kiss with the CD you met , anyone trying to persuade me to cross my boundaries would be kicked to the curb. What a jerk .

[Krisi]

A big part of "getting hit on" is where you go and how you act. If you go to a bar and flirt with guys, you may get hit on. If you go to Walmart or the grocery store and avoid eye contact with men, you most likely will not have to worry about being hit on.

[Genifer Teal]

As for getting hit on, if you plan to get out to any regular extent, you will get hit on. It would be good to learn how to deal with it. One of the first times I was out in the city I got hit on and didn't know how to deal with it. Eventually I left the place. Looking back on it now, i can't belive I let a silly thing ruin my night. It's actually quite easy to say no. You can even thank them for the compliment. You'll start to realize how awkward guys can be towards women. LOL It's good to experience and be prepared for. It's likely to happen at some point.

[SometimesNatalie]

"Attractive" for me, too. And it's more feeling attractive than looking attractive to other people. I just enjoy looking in the mirror and thinking yeah, I nailed it. That's not a feeling I get in normal dude mode.

[April Rose]

I always try to look the best I can, but that's a pretty low bar. The only times I have been out dressed to a club it was always packed with younger , better looking trans people than me. Not much to worry about there.

If I ever did get the attention of a pursuer, I'd probably be so flattered that I'd let them have their way with me.

I have no religious hang ups, and no one to answer to, and I'm old enough that the plumbing no longer runs the brain. I'm probably more dangerous than they are.

[Geena75]

Given my penchant for showing off legs and higher hemlines, my attempts at being attractive could well turn to the 'attract' aspect, except that I am large, and otherwise not so attractive.

Honestly, though, I don't think I would have a clue if I attracted someone. Never in my life have I been in the situation where someone was attracted to me on account of my appearance, at least to my knowledge. So, I am either very dense or very inexperienced, or both.

[Heather76]

I think I've always been a realist. I'm just an average looking old guy and wouldn't expect anything more than looking like an average looking old lady. Regardless of how I look, I would like to blend. That may not be possible; but, that would be a goal. After reading many posts, I'm somewhat convinced blending may not be as impossible as I originally thought in that many have reported other people simply don't notice and don't care what other people look like. They are going about their own business and couldn't care less about the "other faces in the crowd."

[Ineke Vashon]

If a CDer is supposed to dress according to his age, I am not the least worried. I am one of the oldest here. About the only male that might hit on me would be a boy scout working on his badge by offering to help me across the street.

Ineke