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Thread: You know having thought about it...

  1. #1
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    You know having thought about it...

    ...there's really only one way to fight against all the nonsense that's sent the way of crossdressers and transfolk and that's to normalise it and there's only one way to normalise and that's to make it visible and there's only one way to make it visible and that's to get out there in the streets, in the shops, the bars, the cafes, the workplaces, the buses, the trains, the planes, the schools. Everywhere. Why should we be forced to hide, to cower, to live in fear of what the neighbours might think? Why should we have to put our wigs in a bag and a big top coat on when we leave home just because the neighbours might think that we're a bit odd? Why should we restrict ourselves to the quiet times, the quiet parts of town, the LGBT quarter, the gay bars, the safe spaces? Why should we have to plan in the extreme just to get one week away a year to be as we need to be? We shouldn't. We're as normal as the next person in line and we have a right to be here and we have a right to live as we need to live. Back in the day gay men had to meet in cottages, well public toilets, they had to hide away and run the risk of being outed by a agent provocateur, a plain clothes policemen, back then national heroes who had helped win the war, people like Alan Turing were chemically castrated for being gay. Never mind they cracked the Enigma code, never mind the countless lives they saved by shortening the war, no, they were according to those in power, dirty men and had to be stopped. Now we have same sex marriage and quite rightly gay men can live and work openly, I would say without fear, but no, sadly not completely without fear. So, the moral panic has changed its focus, taken aim of a new target, the new bogey man, the new monster at the end of the garden, the figure to fear and to ridicule is the trans folk and the crossdressers, they, we, are now in that firing line. But we don't need to be, we can turn the tables, we can make ourselves seen, we can shout loud and proud, because at the end of the day, we are normal and we have a right to be in the world. One of the big problems that we have, one of the big things that those who would do us down, those who would do us harm, use against us is our sense of shame. You see it here, on these pages, the self-inflicted shame and pity that is expressed on these boards, the hiding away, the furtiveness, the secrecy, the lies. All that can be used against us and those with power know how to do that and use our own weaknesses against us. But, at the end of the day, we don't need to accept that. We can make our own rules, we can play our own game. It won't necessarily be easy, or quick, nor will we all be able to move at the same pace, but some can lead and others can follow. Together we have strength. We can turn this around, trans and crossdressing is normal and can be made to be seen as normal. Well that's what I think.

  2. #2
    Happy Halloween! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    "We have met the enemy and they r us!"-Pogo.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    I couldn't agree more however we do face slightly different issues. Stood side by side, it's near impossible to tell a Gay from a straight man or woman. We are more visible, literally.

    That said, if we "Dress to blend" it can be surprisingly easy to move about mainly unnoticed. Experience tells me so and again from experience I know how difficult it can be to take that first step into the big wide world. But once done, there is little desire for going back.

  4. #4
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    We are seeing more and more crossdressers (and possibly trans persons) in our town's streets, some being more MIADs or non-binary actually. In fact it's more my wife seeing them and telling me, because she has an eye for it. Young people mostly. Absolutely nobody cares nor stares, since it's more like they are wearing their clothes, dot.

  5. #5
    Fun Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    I love it. I do my part a few times a week easily. No more hiding.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Yes. More exposure to us will result in progress, but let us note that that kind of activism is not for everyone. Yes, of course, I encourage everyone to do their part in normalizing us, but I also know that there are many perfectly valid reasons for not being "out there". I know also that there are a lot of "less valid" reasons, let's talk about those.
    I'll start.

    Fear of being assaulted. Not valid. Unless you're hanging out where sex workers do, you're probably perfectly safe. Conduct yourself as any cis woman would and stop worrying.
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
    -- John Lennon

    https://groups.io/g/gno-houston

  7. #7
    Member TAG's Avatar
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    Suranne the main problem is many CDers or closeted trans people DON'T get out but just like to complain.
    They have this idea "they" can't get out because of one reason or another but it's their fear that is holding them back.
    Rather than own up to the facts they like to put the blame on others.
    I have been out since 2008 and 24/7 for 12 years so if I can do it they can too.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    I don't disagree with anything Suranne posted including the fact we all will move at a different pace. I, and many others, are in a situation where our wives/SOs would create unbearable pressures on us if we just went out dressed wherever and whenever we wanted. Quite frankly, if I went to church next week en femme, I would expect to be looking for the best divorce attorney I can find on Monday. Most all of us have restrictions on what we can do. Some of those are self-imposed out of fear, nervousness, shyness, etc.; and, some are because of others in our lives whose acceptance and friendship we don't want to risk losing. My little part is to hopefully go out en femme when I'm nowhere near our home and unlikely to be seen by family or friends. I don't mind total strangers seeing me and knowing I'm simply a MIAD. If they do see me, know what I am, and see me being polite and respectful, I'll feel as though I've done my small part.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  9. #9
    Junior Member DaniellaUK's Avatar
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    This would be great and I largely agree. Sadly in many parts of the world, UK for example, people are educated by the media they read. The news outlets in the UK have a massive right wing bias and there's never a shortage of headlines demonising trans girls and boys

  10. #10
    Member Debs's Avatar
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    I go out a lot dressed, but I have to respect my wife, who doesnt mind me dressing at all, but does not want the neighbours to see me, therefore I have to travel out of town when dressed. If it wasnt for my wife, I would just dress all the time and woudnt give 2 hoots who saw me dressed.

  11. #11
    Platinum Member
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    Visibility is important. I do my part, in that most my day to day outings are made presenting as a woman.

    I really think that most places and times are safe and enjoyable.
    Last edited by kimdl93; 09-14-2022 at 05:45 AM.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I have been out at work for some time now.

    Today I wore a black knee length skirt, black ankle booties, a paisley polo top, and translucent pink painted nails.

    Marion

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