What do you do when the family dynamics are just too high stress and you really want to dress more?
What do you do when the family dynamics are just too high stress and you really want to dress more?
Up until the pandemic, I would go to the ice rink and play a game or two of ice hockey to release my pent up frustrations. For the last two years it has been tough, struck at home with no real external outlets. Because of my wife?s health issues, I have been sleeping downstairs most nights, which allows me to do some dressing, sleep enfemme and work on my breast growth. It is still hard, mentally and have found myself many nights heading down a darker path.
Its just about exactly seven years since my wife asked me to leave. Since then, the stress has diminished slowly.
When there is stress I try not to rock the boat as that often just increases the stress. That is not useful and I view it as a very masculine behavioral trait and I generally try to avoid going into that territory. I comply the best I can when I encounter negative thoughts toward me, but don't give in completely.
I figure I have a right to be me and they do not have a right to order or threaten me to do what they think and want or else. We are individuals and we must learn to live with each other and learn from each other and sometimes stress forces the opportunity to move forward IF it is dealt with properly. They need to be more considerate of our individuality and the reverse direction many of us follow is also just as valid. So I seek some kind of compromise that is actually acceptable to both. Once the stress has been reduced and I have a full understanding of what caused the stress, whether it was me or something else, then and only then will I move forward. Dressing is not the only a stress relief mechanism as that can be done with many things less dramatic. It is an expression of who I am in the total picture and just because it is different it harms no one and me living in accordance with what that identity requires so I can operate smoothly is no different that what everyone else is doing. Except it includes aspects that are a bit outside the general range of individual differences. If it does no harm then it is ethical to engage in that behavior and it offers an opportunity for others to grow as well as for me to grow.
Unable to provide much details yesterday. It's a family situation between sisters and family similar to Prince Harry and Prince William.
I'm normally in don't rock the boat mode, but this is getting more intense. I'm going to get out of comfort zone and suggest professional counseling, but it's hard here as mental health options are very limited and they will not be open to private funding. Any other ideas, or coping straties, for parents struggling with lost children.
Family dynamics consist of interactions with my wife. As a retiree with no economic stress life is great with the exception of not being able to be en femme more than sleeping en femme. If the "need" to dress becomes overwhelming, I engage in retail therapy and buy "stuff" that is not necessarily femme "stuff." Also a glass of wine will do nicely.
Maybe your primary care physician has some ideas, SirDonna. They deal with this sort of thing regularly.
If your PCP doesn't have time to deal with it, s/he should at least provide a referral to a licensed mental health professional.
When my family lived with me and I REALLY needed to dress? I underdressed. I dressed in my car. I dressed in motel rooms during business trips. I dressed in a store room at work. I got up and dressed in a bathroom in the middle of the nite!
If u REALLY need to dress? U will find a way!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
It is very unlikely that you can successfully be their mental health counselor. It requires someone with no skin in the game. The best you can do is let them know that you are available to listen.
My son is ADHD and has PTSD after having been pistol whipped in a robbery attempt. For a while the only time he would call was when he was in crisis. Mostly he seemed to need someone to vent to. I would stay on the phone and listen for as long as it took, only making suggestions when I had something sensible to say. eventually he would calm down. He is doing much better now.
When you are completely closeted the desire to dress can add even more stress. If you really have no outlet then vigorous physical might be a better bet. Get a bicycle or take up running or weight lifting. In my motorcycling days I found that to be a great stress reliever. If you are older, I can recommend an E-bike as a great alternative.
Have you looked around your area for support groups? You don't necessarily have to go dressed.
I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.
Family (and work) stress is a factor in dressing. When things are smooth I don?t feel the urge as much.
Kerry- I'm the same way. I've often felt the need to dress as something that is 'self soothing'. Dressing isn't all dealing with stress as I really enjoy it.
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