My key to gaining confidence

[nancy58]

I've had the last few days alone and have again indulged my wish to try living en femme. I hit a new milestone the other day when I realized that I no longer feel like an imposter when I wear a women's outfit. The key for me seems to be interacting with other people, and hearing the word "ma'am". These last few days, I've not only gone grocery shopping while dressed up but also bought an inner tube from a bicycle store -- where it's necessary to tell the sales person what I need -- and made a return at REI. My "female" voice isn't very good, but no one has batted an eye. Talking to people builds confidence for me much faster than picking up goods and pushing them across the counter while minimizing the need to speak.

[Sandi Beech]

Right. I think if I had always stayed in the shadows, I would never have progressed to the next level. Granted I do it in bars mostly but it is the same thing. Social interaction and acceptance is absolutely huge in its impact.

Sandi

[Helen_Highwater]

Social interactions are the cherry on top of the cake for me. While shopping enfemme is a joy, those moments spent chatting to the SA are what lifts the whole thing. A person to person conversation, just the same as if I was in drab, it's a form of vindication of who I am.

Those early encounters raise your confidence levels. I'm now at the point where I'll happily engage with others. Last time out I needed an opticians and where I parked there was a guy cleaning the entrance to a hotel so I asked him if he was local and could he help me which he did (got my glasses fixed for free as well) having followed his advice.

Do it often enough and eventually you'll come across someone who may be a bit curt but they are in a tiny minority and what's a "Thanks mate" said pointedly every once in a while compared to the numerous other positive encounters.

[alwayshave]

Nancy, I'm glad you had a few days to dress. I also enjoy talking to others when dressed even though I have a typically male voice.

[kimdl93]

Good for you!

[Fiona_44]

Not feeling like an imposter is a big step Nancy. You are now entering the next phase of your journey. Enjoy!

[Suranne]

Yes, it's great isn't it and well done to you. If you get out more often you'll probably find that you'll be having all sorts of conversations that you'd never have in DRAB. You see, women talk to each other, even women who don't know each other will have a chat, and they chat about stuff, stuff that matters to them, not football, soccer or other such man talk. You'll find, over time a new normal. Now, here's something that could take you by surprise if you ever get that far, and it's in the restrooms, women even talk in there and I don't just mean when they're going in, out, washing hands, adjusting themselves etc. No, they talk from cubicle to cubicle. It's a very different world from the silent and restrained male restrooms.

Keep on, keeping on, but only go as far and as fast as you can and that you're happy going. There's a lovely girly world out there and it's great to be part of it.

[Barbara Jo]

I have said it before but it's worth repeating.....

You must have the mind set that you are just wearing the lingerie and clothing etc that woman are expected to wear and are not doing anything out of the ordinary
You must be 100% comfortable doing this . it you appear nervous etc, you will just attract unwanted attention.

As far as interacting with others . the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Practice your female voice etc .

[docrobbysherry]

An imposter is a dresser who passes.

Since 99% of us appear to be MIAS's? We r mostly authentice!

[Rachel Anne]

My big personal breakthrough was my voice. It took a long time to find it and a few years of dedicated practice. Once I had it down to where I could use it without thinking about it, that was a very big personal deal to me, without which I couldn't have moved forward.

[suzanne]

My confidence was built massively just by the way people react to me when I walk into a dress shop, try things on and purchase them. Every single time, I was treated exactly the same way that every female customer gets treated. To them, my wearing a dress is Not A Big Deal. They have also given me tons of advice on what works with my particular shape and style, so now I know gor certain that I am looking my best when I dress. The final proof is that I get lots of compliments from random women in public on how nice I look. More confidence boosters.

[jacques]

hello Nancy,
My key to gaining confidence is ... growing older and realizing that life is too short to remain inhibited for ever,
luv J