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Thread: I always wonder...

  1. #1
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    I always wonder...

    ...when other girls relay stories about interacting with the general public (a server in a restaurant, a retail SA, or just someone they engaged in conversation) and get neutral to good reactions, if they were speaking in an undeniably masculine voice or speaking in a voice that was much more feminine. It's just a matter of curiosity on my part. Hopefully, I will be out with the general public next weekend and would like some insight as my voice is distinctly male and a deep bass. There is no changing it. Regardless of the replies, I will be going, weather permitting, and interacting. Also, since I will be fully dressed, I plan to do some shopping for girl stuff. Hope I find a few things I like in my budget.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  2. #2
    Happy Halloween! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Most of us never pass. For those few that occasionally can? Their voice is often the final give away!

    If people r nice to CD's/trans is has nothing to do with your voice!
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 09-26-2022 at 01:59 PM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Doc is spot on. I have never tried changing my voice even though I wear as feminine of clothing as possible. It just does not matter. I have been treated very well when I go out - far better than when presenting in male mode.

    Sandi

  4. #4
    Member RoxieChristine's Avatar
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    I tried using what I thought was a more female voice and kept speaking to a minimum when I went out early on. The past few months, I've used a voice pitch app to help me work on a more female voice. My original attempt was in the upper end of the male range, but I can now hit mid to lower female range almost all the time. I really need to carry on extended conversations ti see how it really holds up. As I've said in the past, my goal in dressing is to BE female. If I were younger and life was different I would probably be transitioning. I just do the best I can when I can now.
    Roxie

  5. #5
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Heather,

    Being friendly and engaging is perhaps of far more importance.

    Firstly you need to remember you have every right to be doing what you're doing. Own it as many will say. Being confident draws a better response from those you interact with.

    Make eye contact, smile, make small talk. " Hi, how's your day going?" That sort of thing. If the shop is quiet having someone to talk to can break up what otherwise might be a boring day for them.

    Remember, women also tend to use fuller sentences. Ask a man the time he'll tell you, 12:30. Women will say something like, "Oh, let me look, Oh goodness is that the time, would you believe it, it's nearly half past 12."

    The style of your speaking is more important and says more about you than how your voice sounds.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    I have gone out into the real world for years and always use my normal speaking voice. Yes, I may speak in a more subdued tone, not as loudly as I normally might. Bottom line: I'm not trying to trick anyone into thinking that I am a woman. Just trying not to stick out too much. Few things are more artificial than a guy straining his vocal chords ro sound more fem. The more you modify your voice, the more attention you will bring upon yourself.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Heather, I just own it and speak in my normal voice. I can't do a female voice and there is no doubt I'm a man under all the makeup and frock.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  8. #8
    ☁️☁️☁️☁️⛅️☁️✈️☁️☁️☁️ ☁️ Patience's Avatar
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    If I try to make my voice sound feminine on purpose, It sounds like I'm trying to make my voice sound feminine on purpose, so I just speak in my normal voice and let it feminize itself subconsciously and organically.
    ...throw off those chains of Reason and your prison disappears...

  9. #9
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    I have a fairly broad vocal range, and its not difficult for me to raise my speaking voice maybe a half octave or so when I am presenting as female. I have practiced with a voice feminization app, which helped habituate myself to comfortably speaking in a higher range.

    That being said, I suppose that attempting to speak in a more feminine tone is really for my own gratification, since I have plenty of other tells that would quickly clear away any doubt that I am trans before a sound ever passes my lips.
    Last edited by kimdl93; 09-23-2022 at 12:04 PM.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    My voice is, for the most part, "unmistakably masculine". For that reason above all, I don't "pass", nor do I try to. Most of us, by far, have voices that will give us away as AMAB.
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
    -- John Lennon

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  11. #11
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    Fact is, there are females with rather deep voices.
    However, a female's voice pattern is a bit different than a male's and this is what you should try to emulate.

    There is one "trick" a TS gave me decades ago....
    Tighten you throat slightly as if you are about to gargle and speak. it will raise your pitch a bit without resorting to an awful falsetto.

    BTW as long as you are reasonably passable, do not be afraid to interact with others occasionally. The more you do that, the easier it gets.
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 09-23-2022 at 01:34 PM.

  12. #12
    Member NaughtyMichelle's Avatar
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    I try to modulate my voice, but I don't think it fools anyone. It's just part of the whole image and usually people react politely. Luckily I'm usually limited to "please" and "thank you." My BF usually places my order when we go to eat.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Fiona_44's Avatar
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    If I am engaging in a quick simple verbal exchange such as saying "thank you" or "where's the bathroom" I raise my voice into a higher feminine tone. But for anything longer or more involved than that I use my normal male voice although I try to soften it a bit like Monica mentioned.
    YOLO

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member KimberlyJean's Avatar
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    Unless you are a deep bass Helen and Barbara Jo are right. Your speech pattern is more important than your tone.

  15. #15
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Women do not only speak with a higher pitch on the average. They also use a more extended range compared to the more monotonous male voice (i.e. if women and men were pianos, the female piano would play more lower and higher notes). They also tend to accompany the speech with more facial expressions than men who are generally more static, less expressive.
    Not a tip per se, but in my experience I generally find it more difficult to clock an mtf transgender person if she speaks softly.
    As for the choice of words for the speech itself, it's a lifelong training ahead if you've been speaking the male tongue for long enough. DUDE... MWUHAHAHA! Good luck!
    Last edited by DianeT; 09-23-2022 at 06:18 PM.

  16. #16
    Member KrissyCD's Avatar
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    This happened to me recently. Was my 3rd time out of the house and at the beach. Had one gentleman come by and try to speak to me when I was laying out. I smiled and said hello in a softer voice. Then when going back to my car a lady asked me about something specific to this location. My voice was not softer as she was farther away. Was embarrassed but she was appreciative of the help and I got in my car and drove away. My voice isn’t going to fool anyone for sure. But the lady did say thank you miss before she drove away.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the replies. My voice is so bass it's down in the basement. I would have no choice but to use it as it is. If I could perfect a female pitch, I'm not going to pass visually, so there wouldn't be a good reason to try. My question, which I believe has been answered, is how many who are treated well use a feminine voice. I believe from the responses so far, very few do. It seems most use their own voice but may simply speak in a softer tone. That makes sense.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  18. #18
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    It is what it is.....I just go with it...
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  19. #19
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    My female voice sucks. I typically just talk softer. I have tried a few of those videos that show how they get a female sounding voice and I just can not get the hang of it.
    Come over to the dark side - We have cookies!

    .......My Photos

  20. #20
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    When I go out in public dressed, I try to modulate my voice a bit higher. I don't know if it fools anyone but I prefer to try to pass. I have been to speech therapy at the V.A. to try to sound more feminine, and by using a higher range than my normal voice, I have made it to the point where it is fairly easy for me.

  21. #21
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    I probably sound more gay than female. Doesn't matter. Moat don't care though I am close to nyc. great place for this. I bet if you try even knowing you will fail, you might easily sound 50 percent better which is a great place to be. It's really hard because it's kind of like explaining a color to someone whose blind. You don't know what you're trying to achieve until you achieve it. Try some of the techniques and just keep at it. You can do many of them in the spare moment here or there. Eventually you may find some progress. Don't hold out for perfection or be disappointed at any result.
    Last edited by Genifer Teal; 09-26-2022 at 12:59 PM.

  22. #22
    Heisthebride Heisthebride's Avatar
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    While I do have some photos that look rather convincing of me en femme, real life is a whole other thing. I don’t think I pass at all, and I’m fine with that. I use my typical masculine voice. I’m a crossdresser, this is how I sound and this is what I’m wearing.
    Rebecca Bas

  23. #23
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    No, it really doesn't matter.

    If people are close enough to me to talk, they are likely to know I'm not GG.

    I was at Pride yesterday with my GG friend Michelle. Here's what happened:

    1. The bartender where we bought our margaritas wanted to know where I got my dress (she was disappointed when I told her Australia).
    2. Another young woman, when I was at our Gender Foundation booth, said she loved my top (essentially a bikini top) and asked where I got it.
    3. Our waitress at Twin Peaks said we were really cute and said we should come back.

    Please, just quit overthinking it.
    I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:

    https://www.kandis-land.com/author/dee/

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  24. #24
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    As someone else posted, when out in public, I try to avoid situations where I am forced to speak. I can manage a female sounding "Good morning" or "Thank you", but I certainly couldn't carry on a conversation as a female.

    A female has much more than a higher pitch when having a conversation. Most notably, a female will use many more words than a man to answer a question or describe an experience. Stop and listen to females and you will understand.
    Krisi

  25. #25
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    FWIW........
    As I always say, there are "real' gals that look and even sound somewhat masculine.

    1) As an employee, you are told to be nice to all customers .
    2) if you are the owner, claiming a customer it a MIAD can lead to a civil suite if it is actually a "real" woman and.... your money is just as god as anyone's

    So, just dress and and like a woman as best you can, and be kind to all when you interact with someone..
    If you have a winning smile, use that to your advantage.

    Above all, no fetish clothes when out in public... dress like a classy lady .
    This is not to say that you can not wear a mini skirt, etc in public as long as you can pull that off in hot weather. Just dress like most of the other ladies in you area.
    Last edited by Barbara Jo; 09-27-2022 at 12:26 PM.

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