Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 44

Thread: Girlfriend Threw a Fit Last Night

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2021
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    55

    Girlfriend Threw a Fit Last Night

    My new girlfriend (of about two or three months) threw a real fit last night when I told her I was getting breast forms.
    I have played down the extent of my crossdressing with her because I know my interest and activity in crossdressing is hard for her to take. Nevertheless, I do bring up the subject periodically so she knows this is real and a part of the deal as partners in our relationship.
    So far, she has seen me only in panties. She has even bought me panties. So, she is slowly adapting, but maybe the process requires jumping small hurdles one at a time.
    I am eager to take the next step and wear at least a bra when I am with her. She told me a while ago that she did not know how she would react if she saw me in a bra. Well, it is going to happen sooner than later.
    Last night, after I told her I was getting forms, she instantly got very annoyed. She said that wearing a bra is one thing but filling it with titties was a really huge turn off.
    We talked it out into the wee hours, and in the end, it is working out. I am getting the forms. I might even have her help in getting the proper bra for them. It may be a while before she sees me wearing them, though.

  2. #2
    Happy Halloween! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    23,646
    Why is it important that u need to dress around her, CeCe?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    13,553
    IMHO, do not get too much invested in this relationship. I think many women view panties as a stand alone fetish. It sounds as if you're going to "creep" into a full blown presentation and expect acceptance. At some point she may snap and that will be the end. Several months ago you were posting about having a boy friend. Maybe, you need to figure out where you're headed before pulling someone along who seems to be reluctant at best.

  4. #4
    ☁️☁️☁️☁️⛅️☁️✈️☁️☁️☁️ ☁️ Patience's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    I am part of everything.
    Posts
    2,236
    It may be a good idea to keep your crossdressing and your dating separate. That is, if you want to hold on to both.

    Why should your new gf have a say on whether you get forms or not?
    ...throw off those chains of Reason and your prison disappears...

  5. #5
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Location
    Coastal SC
    Posts
    1,102
    I see no issues with you wanting forms and wanting to dress in front of your gf. I also see no issues if she cannot go along with it. The only issue I see is if dressing in front of her is so important to you that you cannot honor her objections. In that case, it's time to realize the relationship is probably doomed and you both should move on in different directions before either of you has too much time and emotions invested.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  6. #6
    Member Shiny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    242
    The main problem I see with being in a CD type of relationship with a woman, and even if they approve or get along with it or are DADT or whatever is scope and occurrence. That is, how much and how often. If you are like I was by the time you spring for those "real" silicone forms you are pretty much a long way down the rabbit hole with no prospect of ever coming back. I live alone and finally got tired of denying this part of myself so I just gave in. I don't venture out so pretty much do what I want and dress at home as I see fit. After all its nobody else's business-I don't intrude on others and expect the same in return.

    If you are at the "forms" level you are most likely pretty good at your look with makeup and hair and are used to fully dressing and can handle most any heels and know how to move in dresses. As your proficiency improves you start to become a threat because you aren't dressing to just dress, you are morphing into the female personae by your improved looks. Next is how often you dress. If you fixate on it and are good at it it will probably put even the most understanding woman off.

    I showed my ex-girlfriend a picture of my legs (my avatar picture) just for fun saying it was a Halloween picture once and she flipped out! I told her I had prettier legs than her anyway but said that as she was half way out the door for the last time.

    Hard to say how you will turn out, I wish you luck. But this is just another facet of our "condition" or "hobby" that we must all learn to deal with.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Going to seed!
    Posts
    22,480
    You did the right thing by talking things through with her.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    2,532
    Better to introduce your indulgences now, then after the wedding! If you have a strong desire to dress she needs to be on board or at least understanding.

    Rhonda, how may of us here would quit dressing with our SO said "no way!"

  9. #9
    GG Dutchess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Hollywood & Vine
    Posts
    816
    Rhonda is actually correct.. Cece has zero regard for this woman and she is a prop only ..
    The sentence " well its going to happen sooner rather than later " is forcing something on someone.
    Let her go be with someone who actually LIKES her..
    Not going to argue about it.
    Peace.
    IG : Knightress Oxide

  10. #10
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    2,532
    I don't know if I agree with her having no regard for her girlfriend. We tell CD'ers to be themselves and now we are supposed to hold back and be concerned of a two month girlfriend? Best to get it out in the open now than after the wedding.

    The sentence " well its going to happen sooner rather than later " is forcing something on someone.

    Don't most of us "force" ourselves onto our unsuspecting SO? We hear it time and time again that once you start dressing there is no stopping, so we force it onto our SO's to deal with and see how they react.

    I take CeCe's comment as simply being straight forward, and that her SO was going to have to deal with it sooner or later.

  11. #11
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    1,423
    Good luck and respectfully, that' her red line.
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    16,399
    CeCe

    Playing down the extent of your crossdressing was seen by her, as you telling her lies.

    I know you talked, but you have to remember to listen as well.

    Everyone has limits and you have to respect hers.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    821
    I have been with my wife nearly 50 years. She has known about my dressing for at least 40. In the beginning she told me that she did not want to see me in a bra, and she still hasn?t. My bras are in my underwear drawe, so she knows that I have them. I respect her limits. She has never seen me in more than panties and stockings. I respect her limits. She tolerates my dressing, will never love it. Nancy

  14. #14
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    2,123
    I don't feel there's any forcing here. The Bold statement she's going to see it sooner or later is just the truth. We all present ourselves gradually to our potential mate. If you're trying to sell a car you point out the good features first and then you mention it needs brakes, the transmission slips occasionally and so on. You want them to see your true value first before they learn about your quirks.
    The difference in filling out your bra is in her mind switching from a guy dressed in women's underwear to a guy who might want to be a woman. And whether or not transitioning enters the equation it certainly appears that way. It's like when women wear men's clothes imagine if they also put something in their pants between their legs. That's the point when it crosses a line.
    What you're really saying is you need to be yourself and if the relationship is going to work you need to be yourself around her. I don't think there's any easy way to present yourself and I applaud your efforts. You want her to get to know you a bit to see your value and now you're seeking acceptance for who you are. I don't know if there's an official time frame how and when to do this. It's up to you to decide how much to invest before you may lose it all.
    As a consolation we all know this ain't going away and at some point we'll have to be dealt with. Best to know up front.
    Last edited by Genifer Teal; 10-01-2022 at 06:53 AM.

  15. #15
    New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2022
    Posts
    28
    Wow! Just wow.

    Maybe I should keep quiet, not my circus, not my monkeys, but...

    It sounds to me like the OP is trying to force his girlfriend to accept his crossdressing. Yes, I said 'he', because in most cases, crossdressers are men with a fetish/kink, they are not Trans. And yes, I said forced, because, despite his GF's hesitancy, the OP insists that "she is adapting..." Adapting to what? His controlling self-centered desires?

    The OP states that " She told me a while ago that she did not know how she would react if she saw me in a bra. Well, it is going to happen sooner than later.", so regardless of her feelings on the matter, he is going to do what he wants. That is akin to one's partner saying, "I don't like rollercoasters", and their S/O dragging them onto one anyway.

    The OP goes on to say that they "talked it out, and I'm getting the forms." Did the OP convince her, or just browbeat her into agreeing?

    And to those that claim that she has no right to dictate what the OP does, you are right. But by the same token, she doesn't have to put up with behavior that makes her uncomfortable! I'm not positive, but I think it was Dear Abby who first said that: "Your right to swing your arm ends at the other person's nose." So, if your partner, BF/GF/Wife/Husband cannot stand or abide "X", do you have the right to force them to indulge or partake in what they cannot stand? What if the OP's GF said "Fine, you want boobs and a bra, go for it. But I enjoy pegging guys with my 10" toy.". and HE said I'm not sure I would enjoy that. And she responded with "It's going to happen, sooner or later", y'all would be up in arms!

    A relationship is NOT all about what YOU want, but what each partner brings to the relationship. If people want to crossdress, fine. But if their partner wants nothing to do with it, then why coerce them into accepting it? When I was married, I had my hobbies, she had hers, some overlapped, but if one of us was really into something that the other couldn't care less about, we didn't force each other to participate in that activity. We respected each other's limits and individuality.

    I've been reading a lot of threads on this board, and I see a LOT of entitlement here in. People who seem to think that because they want to do what they want to do, everyone, including their partners, not only have to accept it, but embrace it.

  16. #16
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    13,553
    Jazzmin, I agree with you with the usage of the male pronoun as it relates to me. I don't know about the "fetish and kink" description as I have repeatedly suggested the usage of sentences and paragraphs to describe a complicated subject. Decades ago, long before the internet and this forum, I used the phrase "Getting in touch with my feminine side." That went over like a lead balloon with my wife; "When you can have a baby, tell me about your feminine side." Over the years I suspect she has mellowed on the subject since she has not said "boo" about my cross dressing. After one particular incidence of me trying to convince her to accept my cross dressing I came to the realization I was engaging in acts of spousal mental abuse. That was somewhere in the mid 1980's. I went cold turkey with the "pushing." It has worked out well. She is supportive of the gays/lesbian and trans community; even having a second cousin transman. I offered up that "I do not know why I do, what I do." No bull about "feminine side." My heart goes out to those who are truly trapped in the wrong body. If that were the case for me, my wife said, and would set me free to be on that journey. Other than that, keep my self interests to self.

    How does this relate to the OP? Don't force your desires or needs on a woman who does not want to accept cross dressing. This concept of "Take it or Leave" or "My way or the highway" is too much of male domination coming through towards women.

  17. #17
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    2,285
    Maybe I'm reading this all wrong, but it sounds like you may view her more as an accessory than a partner. Great that you're upfront about it. Not great if you prioritize crossdressing above her.

    In my previous post and actually in a lot of posts I've made on this forum I think I come across as holier-than-thou. It bears pointing out that I've got an ex wife, almost none of the friends I used to have, a broken family, and half the shit I used to have to prove otherwise.
    Last edited by Di; 10-01-2022 at 11:17 AM.

  18. #18
    New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2022
    Posts
    28
    @Stephanie47

    That is my point. The OP is 'pushing' their desires on their partner, IMO. And again, I agree that the OP is, consciously or otherwise, attempting to assert male domination and privilege by ignoring their partners wishes and limits. From the words written by the OP, yeah, it's "My way, or no way". He wants what he wants, and she will just have to adapt.

    I'm not super smart, and the best way for me to explain my position is by analogy.

    Recently, I read a post on Reddit in the "AITA" forum, where a man stated that his teen daughter suddenly decided to become vegan. Mom & Dad accepted this, and even went so far as to change their grocery budget & buying new cookware to accommodate the daughter's new diet. But that wasn't enough for the daughter, who claimed that the dishwasher was 'contaminated' by cleaning plates, pots, and pans that held non-vegan products, and demanded that no one in the house should eat meat. The Dad said enough, and told her that HER food choices were hers, and HIS food choices were his.

    IMO, the daughter's sense of self-entitlement, allowed her to dictate what others could or could not do, while disregarding how others felt.

    In that sense, to me, the OP is engaged in the same sense of self-entitlement, i.e., "Imma gonna do what Imma gonna do! Deal with it!".

  19. #19
    Administrator Di's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    SouthEastern Ontario
    Posts
    15,329
    Playing down the extent of crossdressing is a mistake and the GG starts to not trust you. First it is this then it’s that, drip drip drip. Be real, be honest
    Maybe when you find the one to have a serious relationship with you will start out not playing games so you can have a real relationship where she can learn and understand.& grow together.
    The way you speak of her I agree with the Rhonda and Dutchess just a prob, no respect.
    I feel bad for her.
    If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.

    F.A.B. Forum Access

    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️

  20. #20
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    42
    She is only a GF. You should have a talk with her. Tell her you crossdress. She either is good with it or time to find someone who will be ok with you. You don?t want to spend your life playing games with your SO. Sneaky around all the time, being dishonest with your SO. It?s gets old fast

  21. #21
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    France
    Posts
    1,127
    Quote Originally Posted by CeCe View Post
    [...] Well, it is going to happen sooner than later. [...] We talked it out into the wee hours, and in the end, it is working out. I am getting the forms.
    Course you are. By your own account she didn't have a say in it anyway.
    And the usual "drip, drip, drip" method, for the good of the GF of course. Poor thing, she wouldn't take it (but she can take the forms, oh yeah).
    Really disappointed to see you wanting to train rather than love your GF.
    Last edited by DianeT; 10-01-2022 at 06:02 PM. Reason: Milder words

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Location
    Central Fla.
    Posts
    983
    Cece,

    I don't want to join the "pile-on" of attacking you, but you do come across as pretty insensitive to your girlfriend's feelings.

    I know it's really impossible to tell from such a short message, but it sounds like the two of you are not compatible and should part ways in peace now - before any real (further?) damage is done.

    She isn't on board with your needs when it comes to your dressing. It sounds like she has tried and apparently still is, but I doubt that it will EVER be something that she's happy with.

    You don't want to give up your self-expression to fit her needs and there's no reason you should. But it really seems like the wrong thing to do, trying to "force fit" her into your world.

    Maybe the two of you should end up in the dreaded "friend zone?" She might be OK with a girly friend - just not a girlfriend.
    There is a big difference between the two.

  23. #23
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2021
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    55
    Thank you all for your comments. They are very enlightening. Thanks to this thread, I see that I need to rethink my approach.
    Many of you pointed out how I am not yet very invested in this relationship, which is true. Although we have known each other many years, we have been dating only a couple of months. I broke up with a boyfriend in order to partner with her. I am still feeling like my bisexuality has swung in that direction, and I did what I had to do. She and I are feeling very good together.
    I not only told her that I had a boyfriend, I also revealed my crossdressing desires to her early on, so she could decide if she wanted to pursue a relationship that would have no secrets or surprises. In the same way, I am looking for a relationship where I am free to dress how I feel. She knows I own bras. Ideally, I would like to feel free to wear one under my male drab, for instance, when we go out. It is not a must, but if she is not going along with it, I have to decide how important that is or she is to me. Right now, since the relationship is new, I am really hoping she will accept my crossdressing to the point where I can at least underdress in her presence, and not live a life where I can only dress when we are apart. It is not so much that I need for the relationship to be on my terms, I just need to discover what are her terms and limits.
    So I am at the point in my crossdressing experience where I would like to try boobs for the first time. Someone is offering me a pair of $220 forms for free. I wanted to tell her they were on the way. No deception by omission.
    It took too many years for me to take ownership of my crossdressing. Can I stop dressing for her sake? Perhaps, but I would rather not say yes now and find later that the answer was actually no.I am testing the waters to see if she will join me on this journey. If she is going to bail because of it, we both need to experience that split now rather than continuing to nurture this budding relationship.
    Thanks to many of your insights, I will try to lessen the impact. No male domination, forcing her to accept me, using her as a prop, and all the other negatives that were pointed out. I am still trying to sort out how to handle my personal and communal experiences with crossdressing, and wouldn't it be awesome if I could be open and honest with her about my journey in real time?
    We shall see if our two-month relationship will last. I am almost 70 years old, so finding another mature woman to date would be challenging. She and I are trying to make it work, but as she says, "we both carry a lot of baggage."

  24. #24
    Administrator Di's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    SouthEastern Ontario
    Posts
    15,329
    Thank you for explaining more and glad you saw it how your girlfriend probably felt it.
    Just wanted to say do Not NOT say you are stopping dressing. That also never works/ maybe for a short term but all these years here never long term. Even if you mean it at the time still will not be long term. Best to work it out with your partner, there are ways to compromise many here on the forum can help you with that .
    Again I am glad you took the criticism as we meant well and only to help you see other’s feelings.
    Best Wishes
    If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.

    F.A.B. Forum Access

    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️

  25. #25
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2022
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    42
    I have to agree. If you are really into crossdressing, It?s a big part of your life. You must clear the air with GF. She can not feel that a bate and switch took place. She feeling its only Pantie. But now it?s dressed 1/2 the time If she can’t accept this part of the relationship, You must end it. You both will be happy in the long run
    Nothing is as bad as mistrusting someone, that will stop all respect of each other that will end the relationships in the end
    Last edited by JackieD; 10-02-2022 at 12:03 PM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State