Looong time lurker. Wanted to say hi in introduce myself

[AllieBellema]

Welcome to the forum. I've only had one big venture out into the world en femme, but the event helped as it was a Pride event. Outside of the yearly Halloween parties that I would dress up for as well. I'm sure I'm not fully passing either as I have no experience with makeup outside of lipstick. But that's ok, I'm as passable as I'm going to be and I have fun in the end and that's what matters the most!

[ShirleyN]

Welcome aboard.

[Valerie Louise]

Brook, I also have a pale face, black hair. A lot of gray in the beard but the black is tough. There?s a whole section in the forum about beard cover, but recently I found a method that works that I?ll relate to you, since I think we are similar.
After a very close shave, use a makeup mirror and the small razors on a handle they supply with eyebrow kits in pharmacies. Look for stubble where your razor can?t get it, and hack it out with the eyebrow razor.
I found that Neutagena makes a concealer that?s very close to a burnt orange color. Put that on with brush they provide by stippling it on, not brushing. Then cover that with your skin color concealer again by stippling.
After that, some translucent fixing powder makes it look pretty good.

[Kitty Sue]

Hi there and welcome. This is a great place.

[Suranne]

Strange as it may seem, the best places to hide when out and about are the very, very busy places, places where everyone is hot and bothered and just trying to get from A to B. In those places you're one of a crowd, one of many, just another person. You pass and move on. There'll be too little time for people to have a good look at you and too many people for people to remember exactly what you looked like. Next time you're out and about, and I don't mean dressed here and you're somewhere busy, spend a little time watching the people around you and notice how they're not really bothered by other people around them. They just want to make sure that they get everything that they came out for and get back home as soon as possible. Also, when you're somewhere busy, pick a person, just any random person, and try to remember as much as you can about them. You'll soon realise how difficult it is, and how quickly you forget even the most basic of things. When you've done that with one person, try doing it with two, or three or four. Unless you've got a super memory, then you'll find it very hard. Another thing to remember when out and about is that not everything is about you - if you hear someone laugh, they're not laughing at you, ok they may be but the chances are far higher that they won't be, because people laugh. And you never know, you might even have happen what hapeened to me on Saturday when I was out and about our local city, when a harrassed husband said to his wife impatiently "Come on, keep up!" and she replied "I just need to let this lady pass first"

If you walk around a hotel car park, chaces are that you'll be the only person there and anybody that sees you will have nothing else to distract them.

But, the goldenest rule of all, is never do more than you're happy to do, bearing in mind that initially, yes, it can be uncomfortable, but that's a phase you have to get through.

And here's another thought, that in order to 'see' you, to 'read' you, to 'out' you then people need two bits of information at the same time, they need to see you and recognise you as a male person, and they need to see what you're wearing and register that you're wearing female clothes. And then, they have to make the mental connection that the face doen't, in their gendered world, go with the clothes and that something they just saw doesn't add up. Remember too, that most people don't go out looking for crossdressers or trans people, they just happen on them and as they're not expecting them, the fact that that person just went the other way is a crossdresser or trans, isn't necessarily the first thing that will spring into their mind. Again, next time you're back in a busy place and you're looking at peolpe notice that as you pass someone you have to make a real effort to see the detail of the face and the detail of what they're wearing. I know of people who have sat in a full room for 20 minutes to half an hour before someone else noticed they had a dress on.

In all of this, I'm not saying it's easy and completely trouble free, but, I think that when people who want to go out sort out the six inches inside their own head, then the rest of the nine yards out in the real world are a lot easier.

Oh, and a final, final thing here, you'll actually discover too that there are many, many people out there who like to see a person who is different, who is happy and confident to be different in the world. You'll get into conversations that you never thought you'd have, you'll get makeup tips, you'll get shopping hints and tips, you'll get people who like your necklace, your coat, your bag, your shoes, you'll find out what she really thinks of her husband!! It opens so many doors and for me it's a great way to be. Good luck wherever your journey takes you.

[JaclynL61]

Welcome Brooke.

[Juliet E]

I had started by dressing in slacks and button down blouse, usually black wearing some forms. But a couple of years ago I finally did the wig, skirt and feminine blouse. The first place I went was a wig shop. They are probably used to it and will not judge. It was so exhilarating to wear a full female outfit. Covid had lightened up but I still wore a mask. It helped give me confidence. I went to a couple of wig stores, then a shoe store and was feeling much more confident and then went to a citi trends and looked at dresses which I had not planned to do. Just take one step at a time.

[Ivanna Razzo]

welcome!

[Kerry Michaels]

I understand. I always think I look like a man in a dress but I also think I look really good for a man in a dress. Many women look bad for a woman in a dress. If all those distinctions mean nothing then stop worrying.
I don?t go out in public but I?m more worried about family impact than personal shame.