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Thread: Did this site make a difference?

  1. #1
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    Sep 2010

    Did this site make a difference?

    I'm very appreciative I have good communication with my wife, I guess once you tell them you wear women's clothing I guess you can tell them anything.
    Today I was cleaning the yard and my wife told me to go shower and dress pretty if I want and we could have lunch outside since the niebours were away, I didn't hesitate and showered and dressed pretty.
    When I came out my wife told me how good I looked and told me I've come a long way. I told her I have to thank her for everything. She gave me a denial look and shook her head like she had nothing to do with it. I told her that I was only into slips and pantyhose, and when I was younger I would only wear my mothers and sisters pantyhose and slip and occasionally and very rare a skirt. I told her I didn't know why but I never wore there bras or panties almost thinking it was a very personal item. I told her the first time I wore women's bras and panties is when she came home one day with a bra and panty set, and she was the one giving me her hand me down skirts and dresses and I would have been crazy if I didn't take them. I reminded her she thought that I needed shoes and she bought me a pair and she gave me the name Maria.
    I told her she could shack her head and deny it but she single handily excelled my dresseing because I was doing fine and content with my slips and pantyhose.
    She laughted if off and she told me maybe she can't help it if she wants to see her family happy and will do anything to achieve it. She asked me if I wanted the truth it was the community this site that tilted me over the edge and completed me. Before I joined here I talked to her and what she thought about me joining this site and she thought it was a great idea once I showed her the site for a few days.
    She said once I joined this site was when I wanted jewelry, make-up a wig and breast forms and I got my second ear pierced and shaved most of my body. She explained before this site I would only go out fully dressed on Halloween and then I started going once a month and now I go out every Frifday and the site gave me a high amount of confidence and I'm much more complete because of this site.
    I explained that it is strange because it seamed like the initial intension was, wear a slip and pantyhose, masterbate feel quilty and never to fully dress and act like a women.
    We both agreed that maybe it was a bit of everything but she still insisted it was this site that gave me the confidence and completed me. It is beautiful to have this open relationship and it was a real look back and reminder of how really far we have come.
    I'm just wondering did this site do for anyone else as my wife insist did for me, did it give confidence or been a turning point in any way in your dressing journey? Good or bad
    Last edited by Maria 60; 10-10-2022 at 07:30 PM.

  2. #2
    Member nancy58's Avatar
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    May 2005
    Northern Virginia
    This website was a refuge for me when I first came out to myself and to my wife in 2005. I had absolutely no one to talk to about crossdressing at that point other than a therapist who said he could cure me. (The man is gay, and I am still surprised that he didn't recognize that crossdressers can't change their spots any more than homosexuals.) Eventually I found a local support group, and I hooked up with a therapist who accepts me for who I am, but this place let me know there are plenty of other decent people like me who find contentment in dressing as women.
    "If you are lucky enough to find a way of life that you love, you have to find the courage to live it." -- John Irving

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member April Rose's Avatar
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    Oct 2017
    I have met people on this site that are now friends IRL. I don't think there is anything you could say about an online forum that is better than that.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Kris Burton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2021
    New Jersey
    This site was the first place I found where I could express my thoughts freely. The affirmation I received allowed me to see that I wasn't so all alone, gave me confidence to develop my persona and also made friends of the real life and virtual variety. It became and remains part of my overall CD experience.

  5. #5
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    I enjoy it. I get to communicate with others like myself---and "Different" people too. I get to share my experiences, give and take advice and also have a platform for my ideas and observations---- Can't beat all that for a site.

  6. #6
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Metro East area near St. Louis, Missouri

    Reading on this board, and various blogs like Stana's and Hannah's, helped me overcome my fears. I read blog and forum posts about others going out and I told myself "I can do that."

    I went from being a long time lurker, to a member, to posting pictures, to going out, all in a space of about 6 months. I have not looked back, and I've probably been out 500 times in the last 6 years.
    I'm Sun-Dee at Kandi's Land; read about my outings here:

  7. #7
    Senior Member Heather76's Avatar
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    Jan 2022
    Coastal SC
    I was pointed to this site by a person on another forum site I frequent. It has been this site that has given me the information and support I've needed to take my crossdressing to the next level. It has helped me in approaching my wife which has been very important. I've gone from just wearing panties to going out en femme in only 2 years. I haven't been out but 4 times; but, I hope to make it a more regular event. Once a week would be terrific. I'd still be happy with once a month. When I think the time is right, I will approach my wife with this desire. I'd have never done these things were it not for this site.
    It's never too late to enjoy a happy childhood.
    Live each day as though it's your last 'cause one day you'll be right.
    I'm finding the more feminine side of me...and I ❤️ this adventure.

  8. #8
    Miss Conception Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    I do love this place and had some issues here. (Karren doesn’t always play well with others). Lol. Prior to 2005 I was on a few other sites and did a lot of messaging with others like me (us). I can say that I have learned a lot here and more than anything it has pushed me to do way more than I ever dreamt I could have done. I have left a few times but always came back. Like a comfy old bra you don’t want to throw away. I still participate on other sites dealing with topics that are not covered here (allowed) and the time I spent as mod and assistant admin on MakeupTalk was just amazing. Been a fun ride for the last 17 years.
    Last edited by Karren Hutton; 10-10-2022 at 10:38 PM.
    Come over to the dark side - We have cookies!

    .......My Photos

  9. #9
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    Michigan USA
    There are quite a fewer people who post on this site that I really enjoy reading their posts. I have learned much and I am far more accepting of myself and others because of the community here.

  10. #10
    Always been a GIRL. Michelle1955's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Texas Hill Country
    I started like most as a luckier, then became a member. I review post and old post daily, it has help me understand what I had running around in my brain for 60 years. The site has allowed me to understand that I am not a crossdresser, back early 1960’s ( around 5 years old I had the desire to be a girl. But back then it was very hard to cope especially during puberty. The conflict in my brain has always been their. The panties /bras / cloths are basically a pacifier to keep my brain on the right path.

    Yes this site has help understand things better and I was not alone in the world.

    It has always been more than crossdressing, crossdressing is a pacifier. That satisfies most of my issues.

  11. #11
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Midlands UK
    Undoubtedly, it's both inspired me and encouraged me to move on with my journey.

    If didn't not known of the exploits of others out In the real world, the existence of support groups, the very existence of such a large community I can't see myself being in the position I am now.

    In fact, it's now me encouraging and supporting others to experience the joys I've found as a result of learning from others and no doubt in due course there will be those new here who will find themselves doing the same and help grow our community.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Yes this site did make a difference.

    A member here talked me into going to "Sparkle" in Manchester, UK.

    I will always be grateful to them for getting me out in the big wide world.

    Since I have met various members here and never had a bad experience.

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  13. #13
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Central Fla.
    I know that this sounds a bit contradictory, but here it is:

    I've learned that while I'm unique, I'm not alone.

    Knowing this - is priceless beyond measure.

  14. #14
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Washington, DC
    Maria, I always appreciate your wife's insight. She is are very prescient. This sight has really allowed me to become more open with my crossdressing and about who I am. My wife knew of my crossdressing before I joined this site, but she has also stated this site lead me to be more open with her about my desires to fully dress and go out.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  15. #15
    Junior Member Jade P's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2020
    This site gives a feeling of community and that our feminine selves can be shared with others. I am only out to my wife and a former therapist. My wife only talks negatively about my femininity. I used to feel shame dressing or buying womens clothing but not anymore. This community has helped me so much. I realize I am not alone and I love and accept who I am.

  16. #16
    Member Christina89's Avatar
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    Apr 2009
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    This site gave me the opportunity to realize I wasn't alone. And it helped me realize I happy with who I am and the person I have become.

  17. #17
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Going to seed!
    There is no question that this site influenced me. I learned what is possible, beyond what i could imagine, given my very limited experience. That included an initial exposure to the literal and figurative foundations of presenting oneself as a woman. That initial information led to considerable amounts of research, buying a wig and forms, building a wardrobe and learning the fundamentals of makeup (on line and at department store makeup counters) I think the larger influence was the introduction to people who were able to integrate this aspect of themselves into full and enjoyable lives, at home and in the community. Their examples helped me find the courage to step out into the daylight.

    I would also credit the time I have spent here to helping me take a deeper dive into my gender identity. On the flip side, this site also provided added fuel for a long smoldering ember of the desire and need to express that identity more fully. I had long wanted to dress and experience life as a woman, but viewed it as a physical impossibility. Once that barrier was surmounted, I went too far and too fast for my partner, and in doing so, did irreparable harm to our relationship. To be clear, going to far too fast is one of my character flaws, not the fault of anything I learned at this site.

    In summary, I learned from others, was inspired by others through this site, but it was something inside me that lead me to google search the term that led me here so many years ago.

  18. #18
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    May 2016
    North Carolina
    I have learned so much here! I have grown so much since I joined here! Love ya all! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  19. #19
    Member Monique65's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    North Carolina
    Here’s a repost of a comment I made back in 2018. It still rings true today.

    I am not much given to testimonials, but I feel one is in order here. I want to express my sincere thanks and appreciation for this forum, the moderators, and the hundreds of other sisters who contribute and make this a welcoming, affirming and enlightening place.

    I have lived with my femme side bottled up inside my head for over fifty years. She's always been with me, but until I found this site, I never had the opportunity to give her expression. It's as if she has finally emerged into the light of day, and it is a very rewarding and satisfying feeling. When I go back and reread my posts, I'm reading words that resonate with my true sentiments.

    I chose my femme name on a whim, wanting to sound exotic and mysterious, but every time I see it in print, I feel like it is more and more my true self. I am relating to the world from a more feminine perspective, and that is something that is sorely needed today.

    So, thanks to all of my new found sisters. Here's to many more fulfilling moments as we walk this journey together. Welcome, sister, we've been expecting you.

    Honoring the woman within

  20. #20
    Senior Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Southeast US
    I had already been going out fully dressed to bars for a couple of years before I came across this site. So with respect to outings , it made no difference but it has had some benefits.

    I made some friends, and learned a few things along the way. The one big tip I picked up is how hip and butt pads can make a huge difference in presentation as a female.


  21. #21
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    Good question, Maria. For me it did little for my dressing, but dressing is not a big thing with me. For me it is being comfortable with my identity, the person that I am and have become by accepting the reality of how I am configured. For that, this site has been an immense help. I was able to see the vast diversity that we, as a group, represent.

    But it also provided a means to see the similarities and the connectivity that we have. Together, diversity and commonality, shows that this phenomenon is not something imagined, but is very real. So many of us have so much in common with respect to the core of who we are. And yet we were all strangers to each other until we met here and found that we are not alone in the things we experience. That, in itself, is strong evidence that this behavior we exhibit has substance to it.

    Many of use grew up in very different families and in cultures that are different from each other in some ways, and yet there is this common thread that connects us. That is very strong evidence that this is biological and not something that is learned. It is not proof, but it is a huge support of a common biological foundation that we share. Without sites like this that would be a very difficult aspect to see because our contact with others like us would be so limited that conclusions like this would be next to impossible to make.

    But this also can allow us to communicate with others, especially our mates, "No, honey, I am not crazy. This is a real thing and this is why." My wife likes the person I have become. That confirms the conclusion drawn in a technical paper that was published about 20 years ago that many women prefer to have a man that is capable of being a bit like her and be that way comfortably and naturally. And that is probably what is going on between you and your wife - she likes who you are now. You are still her "Man," but you are also a whole lot more than just that. She has come to understand the distinction and appreciates it. My wife and I are fundamentally similar to you and your wife, but we choose a pattern of interaction that is different from you two. Yet we end up being, so to speak, neighbors in how we generally view things. And that expands to include much of the community on this site.

  22. #22
    Junior Member Celee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    This site has helped me immensely. While I?m not ready to enter the great wide open yet this site helps me get through the times when the pink fog hits me like a ton of bricks. When it hits hard I can come here and read the words of wisdom from my sisters and that helps prevent me from making a rash decision that I might not be ready to accept the repercussions of. So thank you to all.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member Fiona_44's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2022

    Finding this site has not only allowed me to come to terms with who I really am but reading about other CD's real-life experiences gave me the urge to finally dress fully as a woman and to go out and present Fiona to the world. It is a great comfort to know you are not alone and there are others who think and act in a similar fashion.
    "I may be going to hell in a bucket baby but at least I'm enjoyin' the ride!" - Grateful Dead

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    NJ, where else?
    Maria and Fiona, a huge YES for me!

    Though I had been CDing for almost 50 years prior to joining I must say that things have gone so much "better" since joining. That included technical tips on makeup, clothing and other mechanical details but the biggest impact has been the mutual support on so many levels, from those who I've DM'ed with through joining into an active discussion, each has helped me understand or accept this activity.

    I truly enjoy the discussions of the differences, even the back and forth on "what are we" or where we are going, as a group or as an individual.

    So glad this group is here, hopefully I've added to someone's experience in a positive way!

  25. #25
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    This site didn't give me any more confidence or affirmation than I already had.
    What it did do was allow my wife to converse with other wives, and to read posts for other ladies that helped her to understand my feelings. This went a long way to her fully accepting my dressing and becoming so incredibly helpful and supportive. I gave her free reign to all the messages that I would read, we would discuss the answers of others as well as mine and it simply brought us that much closer together.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

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