Recently I have been seeing posts about husbands secretly dressing or buying femme things and being careful to ensure that they are not found out by their wives. I understand this. I really do, have been there, done that. But I have to say that it gives me a very uneasy feeling to read these stories because I always imagine the hurt and the blowup when she finds out.
I was one of those who discovered my femininity gradually and shared it in bits and pieces with my wife. I would say it has been the hardest part of our marriage. (And it has led to a couple of the biggest fights and periods of painful emotional distancing in our marriage, but we eventually worked it out.) But, I have always wanted her to know because I have wanted her to love this part of me too. This has been hard for her and it has been hard for me to be honest.
I have no judgement about those who choose to keep it secret. I raise this issue out of worry for you, out of fear that she will discover your truth and be hurt by the deception more than by the truth of who you are. Secrecy is a slippery slope.
As I have reported before, my wife does not allow me to fully dress in her presence. She knows that I do, she just doesn’t want to be a part of it and she has given me parameters for what femme things I can wear while with her. She knows (obviously) that I underdress every day and some days we even wear matching panties, which helps me feel accepted by her.
For those who keep this part of yourself secret from your wife or partner, do you find that it causes a distance between you? Nancy
